Breaking Up is Hard to Do Obsessive Love When it Hurts Too Much to Let Go Forward & Buck

Are you an obsessive lover?

Pursuit Tactics Sending unwelcome gifts, flowers, or letters Creating excuses to meet Phoning incessantly Driving by the home or work place of ex Showing up unannounced at ex’s home or work place Stalking the target

Do you meet rejection with denial?

Denial Strategies Rationalizing what is happening with reasonable excuses or explanations “He keeps hanging up on me, but it’s only because he can’t handle how strong his feelings are for me.” “She moved in with this other guy, but I know she’s just doing it to make me jealous.” Minimizing the importance of what is happening through selective focus

Break Up Don’ts Getting handcuffed by guilt “I couldn’t stand it when she cried” Getting handcuffed by compassion “How can I hurt him when he loves me so much?” Getting trapped by great sex Saying one thing and doing another Waiting for the “truth” to come out

Break Up Dos Hanging up on phone calls or changing your phone number Returning letters unopened Returning unsolicited gifts Telling mutual friends that you don’t want them inviting you and your ex to the same social events Refusing to open the door when ex makes an unexpected visit Calling security guards or the police