Chapter 9: Foundations of Interpersonal Communication Copyright © 2013, 2009, 2006 Pearson Education, Inc. All Rights Reserved This multimedia product and its contents are protected under copyright law. The following are prohibited by law: any public performance or display, including transmission of any image over a network; preparation of any derivative work, including the extraction, in whole or in part, of any images; any rental, lease, or lending of the program.

Relationship Stages Relationships are created and constructed by individuals A single relationship actually contains multiple relationships Relationships occur in stages developing toward intimacy and dissolution Copyright © 2013, 2009, 2006 Pearson Education, Inc. All Rights Reserved

Relationship Stages (cont.) Six stage model Stage One: Contact – first impressions Perceptual Interactional Stage Two: Involvement – sense of mutual connection develops Experimenting and testing Increase time together Copyright © 2013, 2009, 2006 Pearson Education, Inc. All Rights Reserved

Relationship Stages (cont.) Stage Three: Intimacy – commit to establishing a relationship; become a unit, an identifiable pair Talk about relationship Share social networks Interpersonal commitment Social bonding Stage Four: Relationship deterioration – weakening of bonds Intrapersonal dissatisfaction Interpersonal deterioration Copyright © 2013, 2009, 2006 Pearson Education, Inc. All Rights Reserved

Relationship Stages (cont.) Stage Five: Repair Intrapersonal repair Interpersonal repair Stage Six: Dissolution – breaking bonds; see selves as individuals rather than two halves of a pair Interpersonal separation Social or public separation Copyright © 2013, 2009, 2006 Pearson Education, Inc. All Rights Reserved

Movement in the stages Exit arrows Vertical arrows Self-reflexive arrows Copyright © 2013, 2009, 2006 Pearson Education, Inc. All Rights Reserved

Relationship Stages (cont.) Turning points Significant events Positive or negative Vary culturally Relationship license Permission to break a rule Reciprocal or non-reciprocal Usually implied Copyright © 2013, 2009, 2006 Pearson Education, Inc. All Rights Reserved

Relationship Theories Attraction theory Similarity Similarity principle Complementarity Proximity Reinforcement Physical attractiveness and personality Socioeconomic and educational status Reciprocity of liking Copyright © 2013, 2009, 2006 Pearson Education, Inc. All Rights Reserved

Relationship Theories (cont.) Relationship rules theory Friendship Romantic Family What you can talk about How you can talk about something Who you can talk about it to Workplace Copyright © 2013, 2009, 2006 Pearson Education, Inc. All Rights Reserved

Relationship Theories (cont.) Relationship dialectics theory – tensions between opposite motives or desires Open (see other people) and closed (exclusivity) Autonomy (independence) and connection (intimacy) Novelty (new experiences) and predictability (stability) Copyright © 2013, 2009, 2006 Pearson Education, Inc. All Rights Reserved

Relationship Theories (cont.) Relationship dialectics theory (cont.) Strategies to balance tensions Accept imbalance Exit relationship Rebalance your life Copyright © 2013, 2009, 2006 Pearson Education, Inc. All Rights Reserved

Relationship Theories (cont.) Social penetration theory – what you talk about changes with level of intimacy Breadth – range of topics Depth – inner personality or core of person Depenetration – decrease sharing as a relationship declines Copyright © 2013, 2009, 2006 Pearson Education, Inc. All Rights Reserved

Relationship Theories (cont.) Social exchange theory – maximize relational profits Profit = cost – reward Reward – something it costs you to obtain (money, status, love, information, goods, services) Costs – things you would normally avoid Profit – when you subtract the costs from the rewards Copyright © 2013, 2009, 2006 Pearson Education, Inc. All Rights Reserved

Relationship Theories (cont.) Social exchange theory (cont.) Comparison level – your idea or expectations of what rewards you should get in a relationship Comparison level for alternatives – level of rewards in current relationship compared to another relationship Copyright © 2013, 2009, 2006 Pearson Education, Inc. All Rights Reserved

Relationship Theories (cont.) Equity theory Builds on social exchange theory Equitable relationship – your rewards equal your partner’s Underbenefitted Overbenefitted Copyright © 2013, 2009, 2006 Pearson Education, Inc. All Rights Reserved

Relationship Theories (cont.) Politeness theory Two people develop a relationship when each respects, contributes to, and acknowledges the positive and negative face needs of the other and deteriorates when they don’t Politeness relaxes as intimacy increases Copyright © 2013, 2009, 2006 Pearson Education, Inc. All Rights Reserved

Relationship Communication Communicating in developing relationships Be nice Communicate Be open Give assurances Share joint activities Be positive Focus on self-improvement Be empathic Copyright © 2013, 2009, 2006 Pearson Education, Inc. All Rights Reserved

Relationship Theories (cont.) Communicating in deteriorating relationships Communication patterns Withdrawal Decline in self-disclosure Deception Positive messages decrease and negative messages increase Copyright © 2013, 2009, 2006 Pearson Education, Inc. All Rights Reserved

Relationship Theories (cont.) Communicating in deteriorating relationships (cont.) Strategies of disengagement Positive tone to preserve relationship Justification to explain breakup Deception De-escalation to reduce intensity Copyright © 2013, 2009, 2006 Pearson Education, Inc. All Rights Reserved

Relationship Theories (cont.) Communicating in deteriorating relationships (cont.) Dealing with a breakup Break loneliness-depression cycle Take time out Bolster self-esteem Remove uncomfortable relationship symbols Be mindful of your relationship patterns Copyright © 2013, 2009, 2006 Pearson Education, Inc. All Rights Reserved

Relationship Theories (cont.) Communicating in relationship repair Interpersonal repair R – Recognize the problem E – Engage in productive conflict resolution P – Pose possible solutions A – Affirm each other I – Integrate solutions into normal behavior R – Risk Copyright © 2013, 2009, 2006 Pearson Education, Inc. All Rights Reserved

Relationship Theories (cont.) Communicating in relationship repair (cont.) Intrapersonal repair Remember punctuation Copyright © 2013, 2009, 2006 Pearson Education, Inc. All Rights Reserved