1. Understanding Interpersonal Communication

2. Interpersonal communication
Interpersonal communication occurs when people treat one another as unique individuals, regardless of the context in which the interaction occurs or the number of people involved.

3. Why form relationships?
Whom do you find most attractive – a confident person, a nice person, or a “player”? The Science of Attraction [12:33]

4. Why we form relationships?
Appearance
Similarity
Complementarity
Reciprocal Attraction
Competence
Disclosure
Proximity
Rewards

5. Why form relationships? (cont.)
Scientists believe that ALL relationships – both impersonal and personal – are based on the social exchange theory.
We seek out people who can give us rewards (tangible or intangible) that are greater than or equal to the costs we encounter in dealing with them
Rewards – Cost = Outcome

6. Marriage…. Rewards vs Costs
What You Don’t Know About Marriage
[11:18]

7. Content vs Relational Messages
Content messages focus on the subject being discussed.
Relational messages reveal the communicator’s feelings and attitudes.
Dimensions of Relational Messages
Affinity
Respect
Immediacy
Control

8. Types of Relationships
Acquaintances – goal is to reduce uncertainty and maintain face
Friends – we voluntarily become more personal
Close friends / Intimates – few people we share trust with high degree of commitment, disclosure, and interdependence

9. Metacommunication
Metacommunication is communication about communication
Essential ingredient in successful relationships
Tool for handling problems
Reinforces good aspects of a relationship

10. The Stages of Relationships
Beginning relationships
Developing relationships
Maintaining relationships
Deteriorating and Dissolving relationships

11. Mark Knapp’s Stages of the Relationship

12. Stages of Relationships (Mark Knapp)
Initiating – brief interactions to show interest
Experimenting – small talk
Intensifying – expression of feelings (WE)
Integrating – take identity as one social unit
Bonding – make symbolic public gestures

13. Relationship Stages (cont.)
Differentiating – need to gain privacy
Circumscribing – withdrawal, shrinking of interest
Stagnating – no growth occurs
Avoiding – physical distance occurs
Terminating – relationship ends

14. Dialectics in Interpersonal Relationships
Autonomy vs. Connection
Openness vs. Closedness (privacy)
Novelty vs. Predictability

15. Dimensions of Intimacy
Physical
Intellectual sharing
Emotional
Shared activities

16. Gender styles Women are more likely to share thoughts and feelings
75% of men surveyed said most meaningful experiences w/ friends came from activities other than talking

17. Personal Preferences for Intimacy (Chapman’s 5 Love Languages)
Affirming Words are statements compliment or express love.
Quality Time involves talking or sharing an activity together.
Acts of Service are favors which could include running errands, caring for a sick friend, doing household chores.
Gifts
Physical Touch includes hugging, kissing, touching, etc.

18. Self-Disclosure
Self-disclosure is the process of deliberately revealing information about oneself that is significant and that would not normally be known by others. Disclosure is revealing confidential or secret information. Disclosure is a larger concept because it includes confidential information about others as well as yourself (Petronio, 2002)

19. Johari Window Open, Hidden, Blind / Secret, Unknown

21. Self-Disclosure effects the relationship….
Intimacy – Because of Dialectical tensions, people more back and forth between greater disclosure and privacy. Disclosure can increase and decrease intimacy.
Reciprocity – how long do you wait before you reciprocate disclosure
Trust – How does your partner treat information you shared

22. Guidelines for Disclosure
Self-disclose information you want others to disclose to you
Continue self-disclosure when reciprocated
Gradually move to deeper levels of self- disclosure
Observe the risk involved in self-disclosing

23. Cultural and Gender Differences
Formal Cultures Engage in Less Self- Disclosure
Germany More Formal than America
Misperceptions in Early Stages of Cross-Cultural Relationships
Across Cultures - More Intimacy, More Self-Disclosure

24. Cultural and Gender Differences (con’t)
In General, Men Tend to Disclose Less Than Women, but This Varies by Individual and Cultural Tradition
Men in our society are more likely to view conversation as report-talk
Women in our society are more likely to view conversation as rapport-talk
Tannen, 1990