2 | 1 Copyright © 2014 Cengage Learning. All rights reserved. Strategies for Creating Success in College and in Life On Course Chapter 2 ACCEPTING PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY

2 | 2 Copyright © 2014 Cengage Learning. All rights reserved. T HE W ISE C HOICE P ROCESS Think of a problem or challenging situation you are now facing. Go through each step of the Wise Choice Process, and apply it to your problem.

2 | 3 Copyright © 2014 Cengage Learning. All rights reserved. T HE W ISE C HOICE P ROCESS The Wise Choice Process is a 6 step decision making model that empowers you take full responsibility for creating the life you want.  Step 1: What is my present situation?  Step 2: How would I like my situation to be?  Step 3: What are my possible choices?  Step 4: What is the likely outcome of each possible choice?  Step 5: Which choice(s) will I commit to doing?  Step 6: When and how will I evaluate my plan?

2 | 4 Copyright © 2014 Cengage Learning. All rights reserved.

2 | 5 Copyright © 2014 Cengage Learning. All rights reserved. S ELF T ALK : T HE I NNER C RITIC The Inner Critic is the internal voice that judges us as inadequate, blames us for whatever is wrong in life, and can find fault with anything about us. “I’ll never be able to do it” “I’m fat. I’m ugly” “Nobody loves me.”

2 | 6 Copyright © 2014 Cengage Learning. All rights reserved. S ELF T ALK : T HE I NNER D EFENDER The Inner Defender judges, blames, complains, accuses, criticizes and condemns others. “It’s my mom’s fault.” “It wasn’t my fault because…” “She’s stupid.”

2 | 7 Copyright © 2014 Cengage Learning. All rights reserved. S ELF T ALK : I NNER G UIDE The Inner Guide seeks to make the best of any situation and knows that judgments do not improve difficult situations. “Keep going, you’ll get it.” “That didn’t work, let’s try it a different way.” “Don’t let her negative attitude keep you from success.”

2 | 8 Copyright © 2014 Cengage Learning. All rights reserved. T HE L ANGUAGE OF R ESPONSIBILITY Look over the qualities of Victim and Creator language in the chart below. What are some benefits of using Creator language? Victim LanguageCreator Language Focuses on weaknessesFocuses on how to improve Makes excusesSeeks solutions ComplainsTurns complaints into requests Compares oneself unfavorably to others Seeks help from those more skilled BlamesAccepts responsibility Sees problems as permanentTreats problems as temporary Repeats ineffective behaviorsDoes something new TriesDoes Predicts defeat and give upThinks positively and looks for a better choice

2 | 9 Copyright © 2014 Cengage Learning. All rights reserved. THE CURSE OF STINKIN’ THINKIN’ A + B = C (Activating event + Beliefs = Consequences) Activating Event BeliefConsequence Which “internal voice” does this sound like? Instructor didn’t show up for a meeting. “Instructor thinks I am dumb. I’ll never finish college. I’m a failure.” Got depressed and wasted the evening. Which “internal voice” does this sound like? Instructor didn’t show up for a meeting. “Instructor wont help me. Instructor doesn’t care.” Got angry and spent the night complaining to friends.

2 | 10 Copyright © 2014 Cengage Learning. All rights reserved. Which Inner Voices Do You Hear? MindsetHopePersonal Responsibility Fixed Mindset Low Hope Victim Fixed Mindset Low Hope Victim What voice does this Sound like? Growth Mindset High Hope Creator

2 | 11 Copyright © 2014 Cengage Learning. All rights reserved. STINKIN’ THINKIN’ & STEREOTYPE THREAT Using A+B=C when faced with Stereotype Threat Activating Event BeliefConsequence Female student taking a math test. Women are not good in math.What do you think the consequence would be in this scenario? Female student gets anxious, distracted and forgets everything she studied.

2 | 12 Copyright © 2014 Cengage Learning. All rights reserved. D ISPUTING I RRATIONAL B ELIEFS Become familiar with your inner voice  Dispute irrational beliefs dealing with the stereotype threat that “women are bad in math.” Offer evidence that your judgments are wrong Offer a positive explanation of the problem Question the importance of the problem Offer a plan to improve the situation I did pretty well in high school math and many women have great jobs using math skills everyday. When I excel in math, I’ll have fewer women to compete against for jobs. I don’t have to be the smartest woman in the class, I just have to continue to learn more everyday. What would be a good plan to improve the situation? I’ll study every night, do all homework, ask questions in class, go to tutoring, and see the instructor during office hours.

2 | 13 Copyright © 2014 Cengage Learning. All rights reserved. Q UICK R EVIEW Identify each of the following as Inner Critic, Inner Defender or Inner Guide statements I am failing English because the teacher doesn’t know how to explain things clearly. My car has a flat tire. I’ll ask John if he can give me a ride to school tomorrow while the tire is being fixed. I’m too clumsy and slow to be on the soccer team at school; they would laugh at me if I showed up to practice. I know I won’t get the job I interviewed for; I have never been good at answering questions on the spot. My math book is horrible, so there’s no way anyone can pass that course. I know I have a habit of procrastinating, so I’m going straight home today and pay all my bills so I don’t incur late charges. I know I stutter a lot when I get nervous, so I am going to practice my speech at least one hour every day. My friend said he would buy my textbooks for class, but he didn’t. Now I’m going to fail and it’s all his fault. Inner Defender Inner Guide Inner Critic Inner Critic Inner Defender Inner Guide Inner Guide Inner Defender

2 | 14 Copyright © 2014 Cengage Learning. All rights reserved. Q UICK R EVIEW Identify each of the following as a Victim Mindset or as a Creator Mindset.  I’ll never pass math. It’s just too hard.  My study group is a waste of time.  I have a meeting with my teacher to discuss how to improve my grades in English.  My coworkers like to gossip a lot; I need to stay to myself so I can get my work done.  My roommates yell a lot when the football game is on so I can never concentrate on my studies. Victim Creator