Bottom line: If you don’t have healthy relationships in your life you will not live a happy life. Healthy relationships include: -Give and take -Good listening -Sticking up for yourself
What is a healthy relationship A relationship that…. Promotes self-respect Encourages productivity and health Free from violence and drug abuse Is equal
How do you know if you are in an unhealthy relationship? You are always mad at the person You are always giving up what YOU like You cry a lot/upset a lot You contemplate leaving the relationship often but never do for some reason Your friends or family keep telling you it’s a bad relationship You have changed a LOT to be in this relationship It just doesn’t feel right
Harmful Ways of Relating in Relationships Which type are YOU? The People Pleaser The Enabler The Clinger The Fixer The Distancer The Controller The Center The Abuser The Liar The Promise Breaker Never be one of these OR date one of these!!
The People Pleaser Constantly seeking approval from people Wants to be liked Will do anything to be liked (drink, drugs, sex) “Doormats” They will never have a healthy relationship because they don’t respect themselves and people don’t respect them
The Enabler Supports other people’s harmful behavior (gambling,drinking,drugging,etc.) In denial of their friend or lovers problems and feeds into them Will never have a healthy relationship because they enable the people they are with to be unhealthy as a result their needs are never met
The Clinger Needy and dependant on others Turns to others to make themselves feel good Suffocates the people they are with Clingers won’t have healthy relationships because they drive their lovers away by being too clingy
The Fixer Trys to fix other people’s problems Quick to give advice Avoiding their own problems to fix others
The Distancer Emotionally unavailable Busy, Avoiding Keep people at a distance to avoid being hurt They won’t have a healthy relationship because they will never let themselves get close enough to someone to have a good relationship
The Controller Possessive, Jealous Tells other person what to wear, what to do, what to believe Don’t like to share It’s not healthy to be in a relationship with a controller because relationships are supposed to be equal not one person telling the other what to do Too often this one is seen with teenage boys to their teenage girlfriends
Match-ups The Controller and Enabler A jealous teen male who demands all his girlfriend’s attention. She enables this and makes excuses for him like “he really loves me and that’s why he wants me with him all the time” The Clinger and the Distancer
Conclusion and Homework These don’t just happen with boyfriends and girlfriends these can be relationships with your friends or family. Be careful of these and know which one you tend to be. Homework: The Perfect Mate. Get a copy from me or find one online on my webpage