Chapter 10: Managing Interpersonal Conflicts PowerPoint Presentation to accompany Looking Out, Looking In, Tenth Edition Chapter 10: Managing Interpersonal Conflicts Presentation prepared by Dr. Michael Pearson, Gretchen Gill, and Tim Scanlon of West Chester University Copyright © 2002 Thomson Learning, Inc. Thomson Learning™ is a trademark used herein under license. For permission to use material from this text, contact us by: Phone: 1-800-730-2214 Fax: 1-800-730-2215 Web: www.thomsonrights.com Copyright © 2002 Thomson Learning, Inc. 1

Interpersonal Conflicts CHAPTER 10 Managing Interpersonal Conflicts 2

Managing Interpersonal Conflicts The Nature of Conflict Personal Conflict Styles Assertion Without Aggression: The Clear Message Format Conflict in Relational Systems Variables in Conflict Styles Methods of Conflict Resolution Win-Win Communication Skills Constructive Conflict: Questions and Answers 3

The Nature of Conflict Conflict Defined Expressed Struggle Conflict is defined as an expressed struggle between two interdependent parties who perceive incompatible goals, scarce rewards, and interference from the other party in achieving their goals. Expressed Struggle Perceived Incompatible Goals Perceived Scarce Rewards Interdependence Interference from the Other Party 4

The Nature of Conflict Conflict is Natural No matter how close you are to somebody, there will be times when your ideas or actions or needs won’t match those of others around you. 5

The Nature of Conflict Conflict Can be Beneficial Effective communication during conflict can keep good relationships strong. People who work through their conflicts using constructive skills are more satisfied with their relationships and with the outcomes of their conflicts. 6

Personal Conflict Styles Nonassertive Behavior Nonassertion - the inability or unwillingness to express thoughts or feelings in a conflict Avoidance: physical or conversational, steering clear of conflict Accommodation: giving in; putting other’s needs ahead of your own Direct Aggression Direct Aggression – expressing a criticism or demand that threatens the face of the person at whom it is directed. 7

Personal Conflict Styles Passive Aggression Passive Aggression - occurs when a communicator expresses hostility in an obscure way; “crazymaking” Indirect Communication Indirect Communication - a roundabout way of expressing wants or needs in order to save face for the recipient. 8

Personal Conflict Styles Assertion Assertion - a clear and direct expression of the sender’s needs, thoughts, or feelings, without judging or dictating to others. Which Style is Best ? Factors to consider : 1) The Relationship 2) The Situation 3) The Receiver 4) Your Goals 9

Assertion Without Aggression: The Clear Message Format Behavior Behavioral Description - an account that refers only to observable phenomena; behavioral description should be objective, describing an event without interpreting it Interpretation Interpretation - the process of attaching meaning to behavior; there can be more than one interpretation attached to a behavior 10

Assertion Without Aggression: The Clear Message Format Feeling Feeling – an expression of the emotion you are experiencing as a result of the other person’s behavior Consequence A consequence statement explains what happens as a result of the behavior you have described, your interpretation, the ensuing feeling, or all three. Three types of consequences: what happens to you, the speaker what happens to the person you’re addressing what happens to others 11

Assertion Without Aggression: The Clear Message Format Intention Intention Statements can communicate three kinds of messages: 1) a description of where you stand on an issue 2) requests of others 3) descriptions of how you plan to act in the future. 12

Assertion Without Aggression: The Clear Message Format Using the Clear Message Format Behavior-interpretation-feeling-consequences-intention format : 1) The elements may be delivered in mixed order. 2) Word the message to suit your personal style. 3) When appropriate combine two elements in a single phrase. 4) Take your time delivering the message.

Conflict in Relational Systems Relational Conflict Style - a pattern of managing disagreements that develops in a long-term relationship. 13

Conflict in Relational Systems Complementary, Symmetrical, and Parallel Styles Complementary Conflict Style - partners use different but mutually reinforcing behaviors Symmetrical Conflict Style - both parties use the same behaviors Parallel Conflict Style - shifts between complementary and symmetrical patterns from one issue to another 14

Conflict in Relational Systems Intimate and Aggressive Styles Nonintimate-Aggressive Nonintimate-Nonaggressive Intimate-Aggressive Intimate-Nonaggressive Conflict Rituals Conflict Ritual – unacknowledged but very real patterns of interlocking behavior 15

Variables in Conflict Styles Gender Men and women approach conflict differently. Culture The way in which people manage conflict varies tremendously depending on their cultural background. 16

Methods of Conflict Resolution Win-Lose Win-lose Problem Solving – one party gets what he or she wants and the other party comes up short Lose-Lose Lose-lose Problem Solving – neither side is satisfied with the outcome 17

Methods of Conflict Resolution Compromise Compromise – gives both parties at least some of what they wanted, though both sacrifice part of their goals. Win-Win Win-win problem solving is an approach to conflict resolution in which the parties work together to satisfy all of their needs and goals. 18

Win-Win Communication Skills 1) Identify Your Problem and Unmet Needs 2) Make a Date 3) Describe Your Problem and Needs 4) Consider Your Partner’s Point of View 5) Negotiate a Solution 6) Follow Up the Solution 19

Constructive Conflict: Questions and Answers Isn’t the Win-Win Approach Too Good to be True? Mutual benefit is not only desirable—it works. Good intentions and creative thinking can lead to outcomes that satisfy everyone’s needs. Isn’t the Win-Win Approach Too Elaborate? The win-win approach is detailed and highly structured, but you will not use every step when resolving conflict in everyday life. 20

Constructive Conflict: Questions and Answers Isn’t Win-Win Negotiating Too Rational? It may be the most sensible, and sometimes it may be impossible to be rational. In these situations, let your frustrations out, but be sure your partner understands what you’re doing and that what ever you say doesn’t call for a response. 21

Constructive Conflict: Questions and Answers Is it Possible to Change Others? Show that it’s in your partner’s self-interest to work together with you, projecting both the favorable consequences of cooperating and the unfavorable consequences of competing. Also, you can boost the odds of getting your partner to cooperate by modeling the communication skills described in the book.