Bully Proofing Bonnie Branch Middle School What is Bullying? Who participates? Where does it happen? What are the consequences? What strategies can be used to avoid being a victim of bullying? How can we help our friends? Show only the title on this slide, then, Introduce the topic of bullying by asking the students the following questions and exploring their ideas: “Why do you think we are bully-proofing our school?” “What makes school a place you want to be?” “Has anyone had training/lessons on bully-proofing before?” Emphasize that those who have heard about ways to bully-proof or handle bullying will be called upon to help out in our learning during the next few lessons. Also emphasize that our purpose is to help to create a caring school where each student is a valuable member of our learning community and feels safe and respected. Let the students know that bullying-behaviors are not tolerated in a caring community and that our staff will work with all students to address bullying concerns and to help keep the school a safe place to learn. This year our focus is Believing that we can be successful in all that we do, this also means believing that we can stand up to bullying and make a difference to make it stop. Next: show the objective questions that our lessons will answer.

Bullying is… Main points to remember: Intentional actions/words Hurts another physically, emotionally Creates an educational environment that feels unsafe for others, even if it occurs off of school property or via electronic communication Interferes with learning and/or well-being This is the start of the second lesson. . . Review what they remember. Ask the students to name as many things as they can about what bullying behavior is and what it means. Then review these main ideas about what it means to bully others and how to prevent it in the first place

What are the different types of Bullying? Physical Verbal Written communication (Paper & Electronic) Social Aggression Intimidation Begin by asking the students what they think are examples of physical bullying - discuss with the class each response in this slide. Ask the class how they think these actions disrupt the educational environment - discuss the responses Physical Hitting Pushing Tripping Punching Poking Gestures Facial expressions Destroying property Using an object to do any of the above Verbal Teasing/Taunting Name-calling Cursing/Swearing Threatening Provoking Rumors Phone calls Written Communication Notes Stories Slam books Electronic communication via: Email Texting Chatting/IM Posting on personal websites Social Aggression Excluding from the group Silent treatment Intimidation Graffiti Taking possessions Coercion

But I do some of this with my friends. Am I a Bully? If your actions/words/written communications are meant to be hurtful to the other person AND it is interfering with that person’s learning or making the person feel unsafe, then yes, you may be using bullying behaviors. Discuss the problems that can occur when students pretend to act mean, use put-downs and say they are “only joking”. Let the students know that if the person receiving this treatment feels threatened, unsafe, or harassed then the person doing it could be reprimanded for bullying, even if they were “only joking.”

Where does Bullying happen? It can happen anywhere! While at school it tends to happen most in: Hallways Locker Rooms Bath Rooms Before/After School Playground Cafeteria Buses Basically: places with fewer adults Discuss with the class that bullying tends to happen where there are less adults around to see/hear/intervene. Reinforce that with almost 80 adults in the school there are many adults who are willing and able to help, if they are alerted to the concern. However with 400 students, the staff relies on all students to do their part in preventing bullying and by reporting what they see as a problem, even if you are not involved.

Main Characters The Bully The Victim The Bystander The person who is doing the bully behaviors The Victim The target of the bully The Bystander Witness to the bully behaviors Ask the students who they think the roles are of people involved in bullying behaviors. Review the three roles listed

How can we prevent Bullying at BBMS? Think about our 3Rs: We are Ready We are Respectful We are Responsible What does this mean when we talk to classmates? What if we have a problem with our classmate? Every day you come to school you should be ready to learn, but you also need to be ready to handle yourself in the best way possible - let’s discuss the ways to do this while at school . . . Divide the students into 5 Groups to discuss how the 4Rs can look when talking to peers in the following settings: 1. Class time - (listen to their questions, answers; ask thoughtful questions to a peer about the class topic; stick to the subject matter - no personal talk in class) 2. Hallways - (when someone is in your way, say ‘excuse me’ - hands to yourself; greet them politely, “hi”; talk about personal topics that are not too involved or emotional, move to next class quickly, never share your locker or combination with anyone) 3. Rest Room/Locker Room - (okay awkward, but you will talk to your classmates, just don’t talk about personal stuff or about problems here) 4. Cafeteria - (not a good location to discuss a problem (more people will hear and see your conversation here than anywhere else!); keep the conversation social and fun. Eat! It’s why you’re there!) 5. Before/After School/Recess -(again lots of people can see and hear you, keep private conversations at home, don’t discuss problems here, stay away from peers that you don’t get along with) Allow about 5 minutes for the groups to discuss their ideas and then ask them to report out, mention some of the ideas above if the groups don’t suggest them. One of the best ways to prevent Bullying is to agree not to act like a Bully and to follow the 3Rs at all times. Discuss with the class some specific ways that students can handle a problem with a classmate while following the 3Rs at school in the following circumstances- with a friend, with a peer who is not your friend, with a peer you really don’t like

Collect the exit tickets while students watch this clip then give the exit tickets to the classroom teacher for grading. Click on the picture. Walk the class to the cafeteria to sign the Believe banner.

Strategies to Help Yourself “HA HA SO” Help: Seek assistance from an adult, friend, or peer when a potentially threatening situation arises, or when other strategies are not working. Assert yourself: Make assertive statements to the bully addressing your feelings about the bully’s behavior. Humor: Use humor to de-escalate a situation. Avoid: Walk away or avoid certain places in order to avoid a bullying situation. Self-talk: Use positive self-talk to maintain positive self-esteem during a bullying situation. Own it: “Own” the put-down in order to defuse it. Tell the class that we will discuss strategies to use if they feel that they are being bullied. Give a brief explanation about each of the strategies that HA HA SO stands for: above Ask students if they remember learning DEBUG in elementary school. This is a middle school version, like DEBUG, with more ideas for handling bullying.

HELP Who can help me at school? How can I seek help at school? Teachers, Counselors, Administrators, Nurse/Health staff How can I seek help at school? Ask a teacher to talk with you during a non-academic part of the day Complete an orange form to request help from a Counselor (Located in Student Services and Media) Wrte a note to a Teacher, School Counselor, or Administrator Complete a “green” bullying form But if I tell, isn’t that Tattling? NO! Tattling is when you are telling about something that is not important, something you can handle on your own, and your purpose is trying to get someone in trouble Ask the class who could they get help from while at school. After hearing from the class review the list above Emphasize that green bullying reporting forms are located in Student Services and in front office. They are also available online at the Student Services wiki site.

ASSERT YOURSELF How do you do this? When should I do this? Look the bully in the eye Use statements that talk about your experience, “I don’t like it that you are pulling on my back pack.” Make your statement and walk away, “Stop talking about me.” When should I do this? ONLY in situations that are NOT threatening Works better with one individual, not with group bullying After reviewing this strategies, ask for several volunteers to give it a try. Role Play with about 3 students: You hear from a friend that Ms. _______ called you a name. - Address Ms. _______ with an assertive statement. You are walking down the hall and Ms. _______ trips you for the 3rd time today. - Address Ms. ______ with an assertive statement. Ms. _________ takes your watch after PE and tries to leave the locker room with it. - Address Ms. _______ with an assertive statement. Ms. _________ sighs when you give a wrong answer in math class. - Address Ms. ________ with an assertive statement. LAURA, please revise the above for kid to kid situations.

HUMOR Why would I do this? What would it look/sound like? This is an effective way to catch the bully off-guard and de-escalate the situation. What would it look/sound like? Make it positive - do not try to put down the bully Use the joke to address the action/comment & NOT the bully Make the humorous statement and then leave the situation Review the slide above and then ask for a volunteer to use humor to address one of the previous situations: You hear from a friend that Ms. _______ called you a name. - Address Ms. _______ with an assertive statement. You are walking down the hall and Ms. _______ trips you for the 3rd time today. - Address Ms. ______ with an assertive statement. Ms. _________ takes your watch after PE and tries to leave the locker room with it. - Address Ms. _______ with an assertive statement. Ms. _________ sighs when you give a wrong answer in math class. - Address Ms. ________ with an assertive statement.

AVOID How can I do this? Walk away from the student you feel has tried to bully you in the past. Avoid going to places that the bully usually goes Join in with a group of students Talk with the class about times this may work: Walking home alone, if none of your friends walk your direction - go ahead of the bully and get to where you need to be, take a different route that your parents are okay with and know about, get permission to go home with a friend instead of walking alone Recess: Play with your friends in a different activity than the person you feel has tried to bully you Hallways: Plan your transitions to avoid the person you feel has bullied you in the past - go through the classrooms instead of taking the long hallways whenever possible

SELF-TALK What do I say to myself? Anything that is positive about yourself! Rehearse your statements to avoid being hooked by the bully. Like “It’s her problem,” “I know I’m smart” Review different types of qualities that students may say positive things to themselves. Smart, Popular, Outgoing, Athletic, Caring, Helpful, Cared About Also reinforce the need for students to do this often, before a bullying situation occurs - you need to build up your emotional suit of armor to defend against anything mean that others do, even unintentional statements can hurt your feelings, so if you already feel good about yourself it won’t be so easy for someone to bring you down.

OWN IT How do I do that? Agree with the bully - then leave the situation Use humor with this strategy - like “Yeah, my haircut is bad. I guess my mom got a bit carried away with the lawn mower.” Use assertive strategies with it - like “Yes, I did trip on your foot and I don’t appreciate that you stuck it out in the aisle.”

Points to Remember These strategies can only work if you practice them. It may take more than one strategy to get a bully to leave you alone. It may take time before the strategies work. We need to remind each other as students to use the strategies when our friends/peers are having difficulty. Get help from a caring adult if you feel that the strategies are not working. Review this slide with the class and answer any questions they may have.

The Role of the Bystander Bystanders are very important players in the bullying behaviors of others You are the largest group in the school We are also guilty in bullying situations of allowing it to occur when we do and say nothing We must learn how to take a stand against bullying behaviors Talk with the class about the important role that the bystanders have in allowing bullying to happen and the power they can have to help it to stop.

What can a Bystander do? You can help by respecting yourself and others You can include others, especially if you see someone being bullied Encourage peaceful problem solving Follow the school rules and 3 R’s Take a stand Review these ideas with the class

What We ALL Need To Do Is STAND UP! Show the video by clicking the picture STAND UP!

What it means to “take a stand” Taking a stand is any positive behavior that supports the caring community. Ways to do this: Stop rumors Don’t pass notes Speak up to the bully Say “hi” to new students, invite someone you don’t know well to eat lunch with you or get involved in your activities Help a victim to get out of a bullying situation Let adults know what is happening Ask the class what they think this means. Then review the next point. Then discuss the ways they can do this: Stopping rumors - if you hear one: don’t repeat it, tell the person who told you to stop repeating it, stand up for the person it is about Don’t pass on a note, especially one that is hurtful Speaking up to the bully - tell him that “we don’t do that behavior here at our school”, or “that’s not right to do, you should stop” Meet new kids If you see someone being bullied ask them to come with you away from the situation, maybe try this with one other person Get an adult if you think there is a big problem IF time allows - engage the class in a discussion about situations that they think bystanders can make a difference by taking a stand. Discuss some of the most common middle school situations: rumor spreading, note passing, excluding, trying to look tough/threatening words or looks

What are the consequences of bullying? Social: Less friends for the bully and the victim Loss of self-esteem for the victim Fear for the victim and bystanders Academic: Less focused on school: victim, bully, and bystanders Discipline For the bully: Removal from class, lunch, recess Parent conferences Suspension Review the consequences for bullying: Discuss why the bully has less “friends” - he/she has followers and people who don’t want to get targeted, The victim feels isolated and alone and may not be able to reach out to others Fear is one reason bystanders may not act or get help and it contributes to poor academic performance when students are more concerned about the bully than about learning

Wrap Up Review of green notes page Sign pledge and bring home to parents Questions or concerns? Ask the class to answer the first 2 questions on a piece of paper as an exit ticket. This may be graded by the teacher for accuracy for a total of 5 points Then ask the class to make a pledge against bullying. Pass out the pledge slip and ask the students to complete the paper by filling in their names and how they plan to avoid becoming a bully and how they will help if they are a bystander. Then have them sign it and ask them to hold onto it in their agenda books.

References HCPSS Policy 1060 Bonds, M. & Stoker, S. ( )Bully-Proofing Your School: A Comprehensive Approach for Middle Schools. Center for Social and Emotional Education. (January 21, 2009). Bronx School Anti-Bullying Project. Movie retrieved from http://www.youtube.com Short, W. Short Circuit Entertainment. BullyHelp.org. International Stand Up to Bullying Day. Movie retrieved from http://www.youtube.com It’s Never Too Late to Stop Bullying. Movie retrieved from http://www.youtube.com PSA-Bullying. Movie retrieved from http://www.youtube.com