THINKING ABOUT DIVERSITY IN ANOTHER WAY Working Together

Games we played Think back to your earlier years – imagine you are between 5 – 8 years old (why are you all smiling). What games did you play then? Write them down

Childhood Lessons: How to Play For Boys Hierarchy Focus on the Goal – solve the problem Command and Control Do what the coach says Show expertise and authority Take centre stage Deal with authority Make it up For Girls Flat Organization Focus on the Processs – talk it over / consensus Involvement Do your best to help out Deny expertise and authority Avoid centre stage Be nice Be sure

Childhood Lessons: Competition For Boys Learn to relate through conflict Conflict is fun Direct communication in conflict When the game is over, the game is over For Girls Avoid conflict – damages relationships Conflict is painful Indirect communication in conflict Feeling linger after a conflict episode

Childhood Lessons: Team Player For Boys Relationships are not important in getting the job done Can play with people you don’t like Friendliness For Girls Desire true collaboration – each relationship is important Relationship is central Friendship

Impact of the Lessons Learned For Men I’m an individual in the hierarchy Conversation = negotiation to achieve and sustain the uppe hand Life = contest Struggle for independence and success – we are separate and different Focus on status and success Be tough and control Put yourself first Don’t be a girl For Women I’m connected in a web of relationships Conversation = negotiation for closeness, support and consensus Life = community Struggle for intimacy and connection – we’re close and the same Focus on relationships Be nice Put others first It’s OK to be a tomboy

Workplace Men Reflect hierarchy Direct Linear Decisions outside the meeting Goal focused – relationships secondary Authoritative Frustration, anger expressed as anger Silent listening Use humour – one liners, zingers Language: report talk, forceful Women Reflect Web Indirect Non-linear Decisions at meeting Process focused – relationship primary Inclusive Frustration, anger expressed as tears Reflective listening Use humour to connect to others – shared experiences Language: rapport talk, pesonal

How CEOs Rate Key Leadership Qualities Percent of CEOs Rating it Most Important  Communication Skills52  Ability to Motivate People47  Honesty34  Ability to Listen25  Teambuilding Expertise24  Analytical Skills19  Aggressiveness in Business10 Source: Survey conducted by American Express for the National Quality Institute. Reported in R. Nutt, “Survey Finds Leadership Key,” Vancouver Sun, June 1, 2000, p. D6. What are you doing to develop your leadership skills?

Success at Work The Way forward … What does our “History” or “Herstory” mean for us? TM

Evening for Team Discussion and Workshop Preparation