1. Listen UP! The Pitfalls of Failed Conversations A Workshop for the Public Risk Management Association September 12, 2013 1

2. Most lawsuits are the result of failed conversations – talk about risk! 2

3. Today’s objectives  Increase confidence when handling difficult conversations  Provide tools for handling real conversations 3

4. Your conversation  Reflect for a moment on a situation you need to discuss with an employee.  What is the situation  The reasons you haven’t addressed the situation yet  The effect it has on you 4

5. What makes a conversation difficult?  Sensitive subject matter  We don’t know how to approach the topic  We are concerned about the reaction  We don’t like confrontation  History  Too busy attending to other job duties  Cultural issues  Relationship with employee  Legal concerns 5

6. Types of difficult conversations  Confronting unacceptable behavior  Providing honest feedback on poor performance  Sharing tough decision outcomes  Discussing a “taboo” issue like hygiene or dress  Saying “no” instead of yes  Addressing opportunities for improvement  Terminating an employee  Your examples ….. 6

7. Benefits of effective conversations  Behavior changes  Goals are achieved  Morale is improved  Work is distributed equitably  Consistent management practices lead to confidence in manager  Organization can take disciplinary action if necessary  Legal risk is reduced 7

8. Preparing for the conversation  Needs to take place on a timely basis  Arrange the time and place/privacy  Understand who should participate  Check your intentions  Prepare your core message  Have your facts  Know your policy  Be prepared with documentation  Prepare your opening comments 8

9. Using Emotional Intelligence  Emotional intelligence is the ability to know and manage oneself along with an awareness and ability to manage one’s relationships with others  EI is a skill critical to the successful outcome of a difficult conversation  90% of managerial success is attributed to Emotional Intelligence 9

10.  How do I feel..  Am I angry, frustrated, nervous, intimidated, confident?  Do I know my triggers?  What is my self-talk? 10 Self-awareness

11. Self-management  How do I react …  Do I show my anger, frustration etc.?  How do I behave under stress?  Do I accept responsibility for my responses?  Can I control my feelings?  Do I have the ability to deflect ? 11

12. Social awareness  How do others feel..  Am I able to feel empathy?  Do I pick up on other’s behaviors?  Am I a good observer?  Do I listen? 12

13. Relationship management  Do I work at building relationships?  Can I handle conflict?  Do I collaborate?  Am I a role model?  Do I influence and persuade others? 13

14. Conducting the conversation  Focus on the behavior  Keep demeanor professional  Get to the point  Work on mutual agreement  Demonstrate respect  Explain consequences  Avoid assumption/blame  Follow up/document  Discuss facts not opinions  Avoid a power struggle 14

15. Dealing with potential responses 15 Expect Emotions! Lying Lack of awareness Crying Denial Silence Refocusing Sarcasm Anger

16. Follow up  Document and share with person  The issue may require more than one conversation  Provide positive feedback when change occurs  Provide consequences for lack of behavior change  Remember, some habits are difficult to change 16

17. Summary  Conversations must take place  Preparation is key –Process –Emotion  Follow up is necessary - recap  Know and use your resources  May require more than one session 17

18. Thank You! For more information about this workshop and others, please contact Connie Poulsen Management Training and Consulting conniepoulsen403@gmail.com 18