Parent Training and Information For Families of Children with Disabilities Bullying – Recognition and Intervention Presenter: Jennifer Miller

©2003 PACER D EFINING B ULLYING B EHAVIOR “Bullying among children is commonly defined as intentional, repeated, hurtful acts, words or other behavior, such as name-calling, threatening and/or shunning committed by one or more children against another.” U.S. Department of Education Bullying Prevention Manual

©2003 PACER Three Areas of Concern to Parents and Others: 1. Education – School avoidance and loss of academic achievement 2. Health – Physical and emotional 3. Safety – Harm to self and others The Impact of Bullying

©2003 PACER Types of Bullying Physical Verbal Emotional (Social) Sexual Cyber

©2003 PACER Hitting, kicking, pushing, pulling hair, spitting on Taking property Damaging property Forced or unwelcome contact Perceived intent to harm Types of Bullying—Physical

©2003 PACER Types of Bullying—Verbal Teasing with the intent to hurt/harm Name calling Threats against the target Intimidation Demeaning jokes, stories or remarks about another’s differences Gossiping Spreading rumors that hurt one’s reputation

©2003 PACER Types of Bullying—Emotional Alienation or exclusion from groups Manipulation done to harm acceptance into groups Damage to reputation Public humiliation Creating a sense of unease for the target

Sexually charged comments Inappropriate or lewd glances Inappropriate physical contact Exhibitionism Sexual assault Types of Bullying—Sexual

©2003 PACER Types of Bullying—Cyber Sending hurtful, rude, or mean text messages to others Spreading rumors or lies via or on social networks Creating websites, videos, or social media profiles that embarrass, humiliate, or make fun of others

©2003 PACER Types of Bullying—Cyber Bullying online is VERY different from face-to-face bullying because messages and images can be:  Sent 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year  Shared to a very wide audience  Sent anonymously

©2003 PACER Common Views and Myths Kids will be kids Bullying is a natural part of childhood Sticks and stones…words will never hurt you Some people deserve to be bullied Bullying makes kids tougher It’s only teasing or joking Telling a teacher about bullying is “tattling”

©2003 PACER Who is a Bully? Bullies can come in all shapes, sizes, races, and gender The most common characteristic of children who bully – they seek to demonstrate POWER. The bully is physically, socially or psychologically more powerful than the victim.

©2003 PACER Other Characteristics Likes control Enjoys causing pain Lacks compassion, empathy, and understanding for others’ feelings Unwilling to accept responsibility for their actions; Lacks guilt Can be frustrated, anxious, or even be bullied themselves

©2003 PACER Who is a Target? There is no “typical profile” of someone who might be subjected to bullying. It could be: Doesn’t fit in Physically weak Physical appearance Good grades/bad grades Behaviors Alone or isolated Passive/insecure Different from the “norm” for any number of reasons

When Should Bullying Behaviors Be Addressed? Bullying behaviors should be addressed BEFORE it interferes with the health, academics, or learning process of a student.

©2003 PACER Reactions and Responses When a parent or caregiver discovers their child is being bullied, they may feel a variety of emotions. These may include disbelief, fear, sadness, guilt, anger, helplessness, and they might ask “Why?” It’s important to move from “Why?” to an action plan immediately.

©2003 PACER Talk with Children about Bullying Listen Believe Be supportive Be patient Provide information Explore options for intervention strategies 64% of children who were bullied did not report it; only 36% reported bullying (Petrosino 2010)

©2003 PACER Why Some Children Might Not Tell Fear an “overreaction” Feel judged Feel embarrassed Find it hard to talk about anything Feel ashamed Feel responsible Think it does no good Worry they won’t be protected Think it’s not macho; Feel weak Decide adults don’t care

©2003 PACER Reactions to Avoid Telling your child to stand up to the bully Telling your child to ignore and avoid the bully Taking matters into your own hands WHY? Because we need to work TOGETHER to stop bullying

©2003 PACER Questions to Ask Your Child Did the other child hurt you on purpose? Was it done more than once? How did it make you feel? (sad, scared, angry?) Did it make you feel unsafe? Is the other child stronger or more powerful than you in some way? (physically, socially, etc…) (Adapted from Your Child: Bully or Victim? Understanding and Ending Schoolyard Tyranny” Peter Sheras, Ph.D., 2002)

©2003 PACER Keep a Record Who is doing the bullying? What happened? Was it verbal, physical, sexual, or cyber-bullying? What days and times were you bullied? Where did the bullying take place? How did you respond to the bullying? Did any other children or adults observe the bullying? If so, what are the names of these people? *Parents should contact school staff each time your child informs you that he or she has been bullied

Encourage Self-advocacy Provide your child with affirmations that: You are not alone It is not up to you to stop the bullying Bullying happens to a lot of kids, but that NEVER makes it right No one deserves to be bullied, everyone deserves respect You have a right to be safe at school We all need to work together

©2003 PACER Discuss Intervention and Response Strategies Don’t bring expensive items to school Avoid unsupervised areas Exhibit confidence Avoid being isolated Ask the bully to stop Educate the bully Do something the bully would not anticipate such as using humor to laugh it off or agree with the bully Know when to ‘walk away’ when your strategy is not working Always Report It!

©2003 PACER Be An Active Bystander Bystanders can become part of the problem unless they are ACTIVE bystanders. Active bystanders can help by: Spending time with the student being bullied Trying to get the student away from the situation Listening to the student being bullied Telling the student that no one deserves to be bullied

©2003 PACER Bullying and Children With Disabilities Bullying of children with disabilities is significant, although few studies exist to document it. The studies that have been published found that children with disabilities were two to three times more likely to be bullied than their nondisabled peers. This is why it’s important to: Teach self-advocacy skills Help children understand their disability Encourage social development and peer involvement, and build support systems AND know the law and school policies

©2003 PACER Dear Colleague Letter 2000 Dear Colleague Letter dated July 25 th, 2000: A letter from the OCR and the Office of Special Education and Rehabilitative Services (OSERS) in the U.S Department of Education that says, “States and school districts also have a responsibility under Section 504, Title II, and the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act (IDEA), which is enforced by OSERS to ensure that a free appropriate public education (FAPE) is made available to eligible students with disabilities. Disability harassment may result in a denial of FAPE under these statutes.”

©2003 PACER Dear Colleague Letter 2010 Dear Colleague Letter dated October 26 th, 2010: A letter from the Department of Education’s (ED) Office for Civil Rights (OCR) stating that bullying may also be considered harassment when it is based on a student’s race, color, national origin, sex, or disability

©2003 PACER Dear Colleague Letter 2013 Dear Colleague Letter dated August 20th, 2013: A letter from the U.S. Department of Education’s Office of Special Education and Rehabilitative Services (OSERS) that was issued to provide an overview of a school district’s responsibilities under I.D.E.A. to address bullying of student’s with disabilities.

©2003 PACER How Can Parents Address Bullying At School? Keep a written record Practice ways for the child to respond to bullying Notify school administrators Review the school district’s written policies on bullying and harassment Review the laws on bullying and harassment If the child has a 504 or IEP, bullying can be addressed in the educational plan by developing interventions and action plans to help prevent and intervene against bullying

©2003 PACER Parents can take an active role in their child’s school. Ask what can be done so their child can feel safe in school and in his/her every day life. Promote change in the school (safety and well- being). Parent Involvement

Seek the Help of Professionals Professionals may offer support, advice, and information to assist parents in determining the best intervention to stop a child from being a target of bullying.

©2003 PACER Respond on the Spot Adults need to respond quickly and consistently to bullying behavior. Some steps adults can take are: Intervene immediately. Get another adult to help out if/when needed Separate the students involved Make sure everyone is safe Attend to any immediate medical or mental health needs Stay calm. Reassure the students involved, including bystanders Model respectful behavior (stopbullying.gov)

©2003 PACER Respond on the Spot Things adults should avoid doing: Don’t ignore it Don’t immediately try to sort out the facts Don’t force other kids to say publicly what they saw Don’t question the children involved in front of other kids Don’t talk to the kids involved together, only separately Don’t make the kids involved apologize or patch up relations on the spot (stopbullying.gov)

©2003 PACER For more information on how to recognize and stop bullying, please visit these websites: Bullying Information

©2003 PACER Evaluations Thank you so much for attending this presentation! Contact PTI anytime if you have any questions or concerns Thank You!