1 Chapter 12 Peer Relationships

2 Lesson 1 Safe and Healthy Friendships

3 Types of Peer Relationships Peers –People of similar age who share similar interests Types of Relationships –Friendships –Casual Friendships –Close Friendships –Cliques

4 Friendships Friendship – a significant relationship between two people Platonic Friendship – a friendship with a member of the opposite gender in which there is affection but the two people are not considered a couple Casual Friendships Close Friendships Cliques

5 Friendships cont., True Friendships have several common attributes: –Similar values, interests, beliefs, and attitudes on basic issues –Open and honest communications –Sharing of joys, disappointments, dreams and concerns –Mutual respect, caring and support –Concern about each other’s safety and well- being

6 Cliques Small circle of friends, usually with similar backgrounds or tastes, who exclude people viewed as outsiders Clique members may share the same attitudes, dress a like, meet regularly at the same spot, or engage in other behaviors that identify them as a clique Positive and Negative influences –Provide a sense of belonging –Discouraged from thinking for themselves or acting as an individual Prejudice - making assumptions or judgments about an individual without really knowing him or her Stereotype - an exaggerated and oversimplified belief about an entire group of people, such as an ethnic or religious group or gender

7 Forming Healthy Friendships Choosing Friends –Positive people –Healthy attitudes –Reinforce your values –Motivate you –Mutual protective factors –Responsible decision makers Building and Strengthening Friendships –Built on common values and interests –Be loyal –Encourage each other –Respect each other

8 Lesson 2 Peer Pressure and Refusal Skills

9 Peer Pressure The influence that people your age may have on you Your peers can sometimes influence how you think, feel and act Can have a positive or negative influence on your actions and behaviors

10 Positive Peer Pressure Influence you to do community service Volunteer work Help you to not participate in risk behaviors or activities Role model –Inspire others to take part in a positive act or worthwhile cause

11 Negative Peer Pressure Harassment –Persistently annoying others –Name calling, teasing and bullying –Go against your own values Manipulation –An indirect, dishonest way to control or influence others

12 Common Methods of Manipulation Mocking or teasing another person in mean or hurtful ways Using “guilt trips” to get desired results Bargaining - offering to make a deal to get what one wants Using flattery or praise to influence another person Bribing - promising money or favors if the person will do what is asked Making threats - promising violence or some other negative consequence if the person does not do what is asked Using blackmail - threatening to reveal some embarrassing or damaging information if the person does not do what is asked

13 Resisting Negative Peer Pressure Avoid it –Develop friendships with people who share your values and interests –Less pressure –Support of your decision Refusing to go along with the group –Sometimes teens are worried they will jeopardize their friendship if they do not go along with the pressure –“uncool”

14 Assertive Refusal Standing up for your rights in a firm but positive way You state your position and stand your ground Acknowledge the rights of others Most effective approach when facing negative peer influences Often role models for others because people respect individuals who stay true to themselves

15 Refusal Skills Techniques and strategies that help you say no effectively when faced with something that you don’t want to do or that goes against your values –Step 1: State Your Position Simply and firmly Non-verbal messages –Step 2: Suggest Alternatives –Step 3: Stand Your Ground Strong body language and eye contact

16 Checklist: Assertive Communication Skills “I” messages Respectful but firm tone of voice Alternatives to action Clear, simple statements Appropriate body language

17 Passive and Aggressive Responses Passive –Tendency to give up, give in, or back down without standing up for their own rights and needs Maybe be viewed as pushovers Aggressive –Overly forceful, pushy, hostile, or otherwise attacking in their approach Shouting, yelling, shoving or insulting

18 Lesson 3 Dating and Setting Limits

19 Dating Can be an enjoyable learning experience Opportunity to develop social skills, such as communicating and interacting with a person of the opposite gender Learn more about yourself Discover new interests, reaffirm their values, and even start thinking about the type of person with whom they might like to build a future

20 Dating cont., Infatuation –Exaggerated feelings of passion for another person –Be careful not to mistake them for genuine affection Affection –A feeling of fondness for someone –Comes when you know a person well –Friendship and caring –Express affection with communication and listening, holding hands, hugging, and spending quality time together

21 Deciding to Date Everyone is unique Not everyone dates Some people might be shy around the opposite gender Other interests No reason to be pressured into dating if you are not ready for it Ease into dating you can –Go out with a group of friends of both genders –Group date or double date

22 What to Do on a Date Depends on who you are with Your interests Go to the movies, dinner, sporting events, school dances When you get to know each other better you will have a better idea of your interests and will be able to find activities you both enjoy

23 Activities Sports or Athletic –You and your date like sports –Promote health and provide a way for dates to share and develop common interests –Friendly and relaxed atmosphere Community –Zoo or local museum –Music or theatre, concerts or plays –Tourist attractions Charitable –Build strong friendships and dating relationships –Habitat for Humanity, walk-a-thon, maintain parks and beaches

24 What can I do to make a good impression on a first date? Relax and be yourself Be honest Plan your date Be courteous

25 Avoiding Risk Situations Some dating situations may increase the chance of being pressured to participate in sexual activity or some other high-risk behaviors Before you go on your date, know where you are going and what you will be doing Find out who else will be there and discuss with your parents what time you should be home Regardless of where you go, make sure you have money with you Avoid places where alcohol and other drugs are present Avoid being alone with your date at home or in an isolated place

26 Dating Relationships The choice to have an ongoing dating relationship can help you develop skills and behaviors that will some day prepare you for the dignity, respect, and responsibility required in a marriage It may limit your chances for socializing with others, prevent you from developing other positive relationships Teen years are a time for trying many different roles and relationships Relationships can be difficult to start or end but it helps you to mature emotionally

27 Setting Limits Limits are intended to protect your health and safety Curfew –A set time at which you must be home at night As you mature you will need to know how to set your own limits –Where you will go, how you will get there –Abstaining from sexual activity

28 Lesson 4 Abstinence: A Responsible Decision

29 Abstinence Until Marriage Abstinence is a deliberate decision to avoid high-risk behaviors, including sexual activity before marriage and the use of tobacco, alcohol and other drugs Abstinence is the only 100 percent sure way to eliminate health risks associated with sexual activity Sexually Transmitted Diseases (STDs) –Infections spread from person to person through sexual content

30 Committing to Abstinence Priorities –Those goals, tasks, and activities that you judge to be more important than others Self-Control –A person’s ability to use responsibility to override emotions A Guide to Commit to Abstinence –Establish your priorities –Set personal limits on how you express affection –Share your thoughts with your partner –Talk with a trusted adult –Avoid high-pressure situations –Do not use alcohol or other drugs

31 Reasons to Practice Abstinence Short-term and long-term effects Can harm an individual’s physical, mental/emotional, and social health Legal Complications –Illegal for unmarried minors to engage in sexual activity in some states Effects on Physical Health –Unplanned pregnancy –STDs Effects on Emotional Health –Dishonesty –Feelings of guilt and regret Effects on Social Health –Labeled as “easy” –Harm relationships with family members –Unplanned pregnancy can lead to drop out of school

32 Using Avoidance Techniques and Refusal Skills Actions or phrases you can use to avoid risky situations Share your commitment to abstinence Don’t be afraid of hurting the other person’s feelings Figure 12.3