Bully Prevention & Intervention: Tips for Parents Jennifer Bullen, Professional School Counselor

Bullying has been identified as a problem that creates a climate of fear, effecting the whole school!

Bullying is… A Difference of Power Family Income Different Race Different Gender Less Popular Personal Style New to School

Bullying is… On Purpose

Bullying is… Happening Repeatedly

Bullying can be… Physical Using body or hands to hurt someone

Bullying can be… Verbal Mean words and rumors

Bullying can be… Exclusion Leaving someone out

Target The person getting bullied Anyone can be a target No one deserves to be a target!

Bystander

Impact of Bullying ON THE STUDENT BULLYING: Students who bully their peers are more likely than others to have behavior problems or engage in rule breaking activities later. (NOT ALWAYS) ON THE BYSTANDERS: Students who see bullying may feel they are in an unsafe environment, making it difficult for them to learn. ON THE TARGET: Students who are bullied may experience low self-esteem, poor grades, and health problems.

The Bullying Circle B C D T G E F A Starts the bullying and has an active role. Takes an active role, but does not start the bullying. Supports the bullying, but does not take an active role. Likes the bullying, but does not display open support. Watches what happens. Thinks, “This is none of my business” or “Glad it’s not me.” Doesn’t take a stand. Dislikes the bullying and thinks s/he ought to help, but doesn’t do it. Dislikes the bullying, helps or tries to help the target. Person being bullied. Target Follower Supporter/Bystander Passive Supporter/ Bystander Disengaged Onlooker/Bystander Possible Defender Defender of the Target © The Olweus Bullying Prevention Group, 2004 Child doing the bullying

Barcroft Elementary Bullying Circle B C D T G E F A Starts the bullying and has an active role. Considers joining the bullying but doesn’t want the others to dislike him/her. Watches what happens and goes to tell an adult. Says “I’m going to tell the teacher.” Dislikes the bullying and joins the defender or supporter of the target to befriend the child being bullied. Dislikes the bullying and tells him/her to stop. Says “Stop being so mean! It’s not cool.” Befriends the child being bullied. Says “Would you like to sit with me?” Dislikes being bullied but is glad that other are there to help. Target Child doing the bullying Supporter/ Bytander Bystander Defender Supporter of the Target Adapted from © The Olweus Bullying Prevention Group, 2004 Bystander Watches the bullying and feels safe because s/he knows that if it ever happened to her/him others would be there to help.

Is my child being Bullied? Identifying the Signs: Seems afraid to go to school Avoidance of peers Nervousness Unexplained anger and resentment Feeling sick to avoid things Drop in grades Loss of appetite Trouble sleeping Unexplained cuts and bruises

Tips for Parents Addressing Bullying or Unkind Behavior Teach that hands and feet are NOT for hurting Explain the harmful effects mean words can have on others Explain the difference between “joking” and “bullying”  Jokes are meant to be enjoyed by everyone, not hurtful to some.  Bullying is hurtful and someone is the target.

Tips for Parents Helping Your Child Defend Against Unkind or Bullying Behavior Teach and PRACTICE Standing Up to Bullying or Teasing Behavior Looking the bully or teaser in the eye Speaking with Confidence Using the “DeBug System” Using an “I” message: I feel (emotion), when you state the problem. I want (what you need to happen.) Example: “I feel angry when you tease me about my clothes. I want you to stop! I like how I dress.”

Discussion Scenarios - Bullying I think your shirt is ugly You must be having a bad hair day Where did you get those horrible shoes? You are so dumb You stink at soccer Your family is poor Nobody likes you You walk funny

Who can you talk to if your child is being bullied? Your Child’s Teacher Your Child’s School Counselor (Mrs. Bullen) An Administrator (Ms. Bounet or Mr. Reich)

Teacher’s Role Keep a close eye on students in the classroom and address unkind behavior before it becomes bullying. Make sure students feel safe reporting unkind or bullying behavior. Make the students aware of the respectful school rules that have been established at Barcroft and in their classroom. Call the parent of the student who is bullying to get support. Notify parents that repeated acts will immediately be referred to guidance or administration.

Counselor’s Role Provide classroom lessons on bullying prevention and intervention to students, staff, and parents Allow student’s to report bullying as a target bystander, or bully Provide targets with options of how to handle the bullying:  Practice strategies to safely stand up to the bully  Talk to the bully  Call the bully’s parent  Talk to the bully’s teachers  Refer the bully to the administration Follow-up checks to make sure the bullying has stopped.

Administration’s Role Allow students to report bullying as a target, bystander, or bully Talk to the parents of the bully and target Discipline action to the student who bullied (i.e. temporary loss of privilege or separation from peers) Talking to the bully’s teachers Follow up checks with target to make certain that the bullying has stopped

Practice and Teach Telling is NOT Tattling! Get Adult Help!

Thank you for coming!