Chapter 11  Helping Others Grow and Develop

BECOMING A POSITIVE, NURTURING PERSON 1. Recognize that most people have growth needs. 2. Team up with a coworker to form a buddy system. (Keep each other informed about career possibilities.) 3. Be a role model for others.

BACKGROUND POINTS ABOUT MENTORING  Mentor usually outranks protégé, and is older. Yet one coworker can mentor another.  Mentoring fits a team-based organization.  Virtual or online mentoring can work.  Mentors can be chosen by the individual or assigned by the company.

VIRTUAL OR ONLINE MENTORING  Electronic matching programs can hook up worker with far away mentor.  Many companies have established websites for matching mentors and protégés, following model of online dating.  Protégé might send , IM, or text message to mentor.

MENTORING BEHAVIORS  Sponsoring  Coaching  Protecting  Sharing challenging assignments  Acting as a referral agent  Role modeling  Giving support and encouragement  Counseling  Providing friendship

MORE MENTIORING BEHAVIORS  Encouraging problem solving  Explaining the ropes (learning the do’s and don’ts of the organization)  Teaching the right skills  Encouraging continuous learning To develop mentoring skills, you need to help several people for at least six months.

HOW MENTORING CAN HELP THE ORGANIZATION  Mentor passes along, or transfers, valuable knowledge to protégé.  Mentoring increases job satisfaction.  Employees who receive mentoring are more likely to be emotionally committed to the organization and therefore stay longer. (Based on U.S. Army study.)

COACHING SKILLS AND TECHNIQUES 1. Build relationships 2. Provide specific (or behavioral) feedback. 3. Make criticism pain-free and positive. 4. Encourage person you are coaching to talk. 5. Ask powerful (or tough) questions. 6. Give emotional support.

COACHING SKILLS AND TECHNIQUES, continued 7. Give some constructive advice. 8. Coach with “could,” not “should.” 9. Interpret what is happening (explain why person is acting in certain way). 10. Allow for modeling of desired performance or behavior. 11. Applaud good results.

CHARACTERISTICS OF AN EFFECTIVE COACH  Empathy  Listening skill  Sizes up people  Diplomacy/tact  Patience toward people  Concern for welfare  Self- confidence  Not competitive with others  Enthusiasm for people  Develops self  Develops trust and respect

PRINCIPLES OF TRAINING 1. Encourage concentration. 2. Use motivated interest. 3. Remind learners to intend to remember. 4. Ensure the meaningfulness of material. 5. Give feedback on progress.

PRINCIPLES OF TRAINING, continued 6. Ask the trainee to reflect on what he or she has learned. 7. Deal with trainee defensiveness. (Trainee might resist information that clashes with his or her beliefs and practices.) 8. Take into account learning style (e.g., passive versus by doing).

TYPES OF DIFFICULT PEOPLE  Know-it-alls  Blamers  Gossips  Bullies  Repulsives  Yes-people  No-people  Office cheats  Jekyll and Hydes  Whiners  Backstabbers  High- maintenance  Clods  Minimalists

DEALING WITH DIFFICULT PEOPLE  Give ample feedback.  Criticize constructively.  Help the difficult person feel more confident.  Use tact and diplomacy.  Use non-hostile humor.  Work out a deal (“Make nice, and we will replace your laptop”).

DEALING WITH DIFFICULT PEOPLE, continued  Reinforce civil behavior and good moods.  Ask the difficult person to THINK before speaking:  T Is it true?  H Is it helpful?  I Is it inspiring?  N Is it necessary?  K Is it kind?

FEEDBACK TO DIFFICULT PEOPLE  Be clear about what you want.  Focus on person’s behaviors rather than characteristics or values.  Avoid “should” statements because they create defensiveness.  Do not lose emotional control if you confront the difficult person.

HOW TO BE A BULLY BUSTER  Admit you are being bullied.  See your doctor if you are hurting.  Stand up for yourself and be confident.  Avoid giving off victim signals.  Do not show bully you are upset.  Don’t suffer in silence.  Find out about your rights.