International Convention San Jose, California Quota International, Inc.

Winning the Battle of the Bullies for the Future of Your Club! Presented by Bobbie Carey Past International President

Once Upon a Time… A New Member Joins Your ClubA New Member Joins Your Club

Once Upon a Time… A New Member Joins Your ClubA New Member Joins Your Club A New Member Offers IdeasA New Member Offers Ideas

Once Upon a Time… A New Member Joins Your ClubA New Member Joins Your Club A New Member Offers IdeasA New Member Offers Ideas A New member Becomes PresidentA New member Becomes President

Once Upon a Time…

What Do the Sisters Want?

Why Does It Hurt Organizations? Tension and Conflict Chaos Cliques Anger Low Self Esteem of others Negative Atmosphere Mistrust Bullies Deliberately Create

Effects of Creating this Battleground… Loss of Fun and Fellowship Loss of Membership Loss of Initiative and Progress Members Take Sides President has Low Opinion of New Members “Destroys the Culture and Climate of a Club”

Effects of Creating this Battleground…

Vulnerable Clubs and Members

Why Don’t People Resist? Targets Do Not Identify that They are Bullied Targets Take the Blame Targets Try to Compromise Targets Don’t Get Help from Peers

Leader Must Take On the Bully…

A Leader Must Take on the Bully…

Weapons of Mass Destruction of Bullies ACTION and CONFRONTATION

Weapons of Mass Destruction of Bullies “Whatever you do, you need courage. Whatever course you decide upon, there is always someone to tell you that you are wrong. There are always difficulties arising which tempt you to believe that your critics are right. To map out a course of action and follow it to the end…requires some of the same courage which a soldier needs.” Ralph Waldo Emerson

Weapons of Mass Destruction of Bullies Recognize that you/club are being bullied Know that bullies don’t want to compromise Do not accept any of the blame for the conflict or chaos Reinforce your self confidence- reflect on Past Successes Summon up your courage to deal with the situation Mental Preparation

Weapons of Mass Destruction of Bullies You must confront the Bully or Bullies and Use Language that they understand…they will not cooperate with you. Be Direct and Tell the Bully Exactly What is Wrong.

Weapons of Mass Destruction of Bullies Get Allies if possible “We can no longer be held hostage. We have to consider everyone’s opinion and our future” Fear holds people backTell Your Allies the SituationAsk For SupportTalk to only people you can trust

Common Ruse’s Used to Bully in Quota You are not acting like a real Quota Club You must use Robert’s Rules properly to decide issues You are not in compliance with the by-laws You are not experienced in Quota and don’t know how things are supposed to be done You need permission from ___________ to do this We tried this before and it didn’t work You cannot decide this without a 2/3’s vote of the members

The Truth About Local Clubs Quota is a House with Many Rooms No rigid way to be a Quota club Each club is independent in governance and no club needs permission from another club or officer to act like a club Local clubs must be in compliance with International bylaws which are not prescriptive Current leader is the strongest voice but all voices important

The Truth About Local Clubs Quota is not a dictatorshipQI has initiatives that each club MAY followEach club creates their own visionVision based on members needs and wantsLeaders as Listeners program is the best approach

The Truth About Local Clubs

Battle Enjoined Rehearse your remarks Do not accept any blame for the situation If the meeting is private, have a witness If the confrontation is public pick your words carefully…say exactly what is wrong Be ready for a personal attack

Target’s Comments “Armed with that knowledge and weapons and courage…” We are going to try the course we have set If you want to come with us…you are welcome If not then you do what you think is best for you

Bully Reactions I will resignI will tell members who will resign I will talk to the Governor who knows that this isn’t how Quota clubs are run and QI will pull our Charter You don’t have any experience and you don’t know what is required to keep our Charter You are going to destroy this club and we have been a force in this community for 40 years You are the worst President that we have ever had

Target’s Defenses Who won in the end?Sisters Ugly or CinderellaOur own Quotarella will winYour club will winYour club will have a future

Goal…Healthy Quota Clubs Genuine Fellowship – coming there to feel good and do good Respect and Fun throughout the meeting Have a formula for doing business Decisions are made at committee and club levels Everyone doesn’t decide everything

Goal…Healthy Quota Clubs

Our Values Statement is Our Collect…

Wear Your Glass Slippers and Go to the Ball… Quota is about Fun, Fellowship and Caring… We Can All be Quotarellas