Warm-up PLEASE LISTEN! When I ask you to listen to me and you start giving me advice, you have not done what I asked. When I ask you to listen to me and you begin to tell me why I shouldn’t feel that way, you are trampling on my feelings. When I ask you to listen to me and you feel you have to do something to solve my problem, you have failed me, strange as that may seem. Listen! All I ask is that you listen. Don’t talk or do—just hear me. Have you ever felt like this? Explain how it makes you feel when someone won’t listen.

Table Talk People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care? Think about a situation when someone didn’t take the time to understand or listen to you. Were you open to what they had to say?

Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood Habit 5 Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood

Communication Simulation Complete Activity

Five Poor Listening Skills W Five Poor Listening Skills Spacing Out Pretend Listening Selective Listening Word Listening Self-centered Listening

Genuine Listening W Three ways to be a genuine listener First, listen with your eyes, heart, and ears Second, stand in their shoes Third, practice mirroring

W Practice Mirroring Mirroring is not Judging Giving advice Mimicking

Communicating with parents Take time to understand your parents- they have pressures and bad days too just like you. You can better understand them by asking them questions. How was your day today? What do you like/dislike about your job? Is there anything I can do to help around the house?

Then Seek to be Understood The number one fear that I read about was a fear of public speaking. It takes courage to understand someone, then to speak up and be understood. You don’t want to be the doormat, so express your opinion in an appropriate manner. Unexpressed feelings get buried and come alive later in ugly ways.

Send “I” Messages Say “I’m concerned that you have a temper problem” I feel you that you’ve been acting selfishly Don’t send “You” messages- they are more threatening You are so self-centered You have a terrible temper

POST-IT! “Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.” ― Stephen R. Covey Think back before this lesson and rate your listening skills. 1 2 3 4 5 (5 being the highest) Now that we have discussed habit 5, how will you change your listening skills?