1. Seek First to Understand and Then to Be Understood
Habit 5
Seek First to Understand and Then to Be Understood

2. Barriers to Communication
Assuming
Rescuing/Explaining
Directing
Expecting
Adultisms

3. Ignoring
Making no effort to listen
Spacing out

4. Pretend Listening
Making believe or giving the appearance you are listening.

5. Selective Listening
Hearing only the parts of the conversation that interest you.

6. Word Listening
Only listening to the words that are being spoken not to the Body language, feelings or true meaning of the words.

7. Self Centered /Autobiographical Listening
This happens when we see everything from our own view point.
Oh, I know exactly how you feel statements come from this
Often a game of one up man ship

8. Responses of Self centered listening
Judging: make judgments about person and what they are saying
Advising: give advise from our own experience
Probing: attempt to dig up emotions before people are ready to disclose.

9. Genuine Listening Listen with your eyes, heart, and ears.
Stand in their shoes
Practice mirroring repeat back what the other person is saying and feeling (not mimicking which is repeating words, using the same word, cold and indifferent)

10. Empathetic Listening GOAL
Listening and responding with both the heart and mind to understand the speaker’s words, intent and feelings.

11. 5 Empathetic Responses Repeat verbatim Rephrase content
Reflect Feelings
Rephrase content and reflect feelings
Discern when empathy is not appropriate or necessary.

12. How WE communicate 7% through the words we use
38% through the words and sounds we make
55% through nonverbal and body language

13. Results of Empathic Listening
Gives other psychological air to breath
Open space in which a person may explore feelings, vent emotions, and feel understood without being judged.