Emotional Development Ages 1-3 Chapter 11 Intro to TOYBOX

Emotional Development from 1-3 When you hear the word emotional what comes to mind?

Two Types of Development… Emotional Development process of learning to recognize and express feelings and to establish a personal identity Social Development process of learning how to interact and express oneself with others.

Emotional Development from 1-3 Toddlers go through cycles of emotions and can alternate between… Frustration, rebellion Happiness, calmness, stability

Emotional Development from 1-3 At 18months, toddlers are typically: Self-centered Why is this? As infants, their needs are met

Emotional Development from 1-3 What is one of the very first words toddlers learn? No!

Emotional Development from 1-3 Negativism: Fancy word for the “no phase” Doing the opposite of what you are asked

Emotional Development from 1-3 Why do toddlers go through the “no” phase? They want to be independent Saying “no” helps them feel like they are making the decision They might say “no,” even if their true desire is “yes”

Why do toddlers go through the “no” phase? Frustration They want to do more than their bodies will let them They don’t have enough language skills. understand most words cannot always express their feelings with words

Why do toddlers go through the “no” phase? They are beginning to realize that they are their own person Separate from their parents! This idea is exciting and scary at the same time Excited to be own person Still wants deep connection with the caregiver

Emotional Development from 1-3 Brain Development Cortex (brain’s language center) is developing rapidly after 18 months 18 months knows 50-150 words 24 months knows 300 words understands apx. 1000 words

Emotional Development from 1-3 Strategies to help with negativism Give the child choices Let the child choose between two acceptable alternatives What could you say instead of “Pick up your books and toys?” “Which would you like to pick up first- your books or your toys?

Strategies to Help with Negativism More strategies… Redirect the child Distraction Encourage talking “Use Your Words”

Temper Tantrums Temper Tantrums Usually begin around 18 months and can go on until age 3 or 4 Children release anger and frustration by Screaming Kicking Crying Pounding Sometimes hold their breath

Temper Tantrums Why do temper tantrums happen? When a child is told “no” to something they want More likely to happen if child is tired or frustrated or hungry

How to deal with Temper Tantrums If you are at home… Try to ignore it If you are in public… bring the child to a quiet spot to cool down Always remain calm and speak quietly and firmly Resist the urge to respond with a loud or angry voice

How to deal with Temper Tantrums Acknowledge… the child’s feelings while explaining the reason that the child’s demands can’t be met Stick to the limits you set! Consistency is KEY

How to deal with Temper Tantrums More tips… Make sure that child cannot hurt themselves or others Once it’s over, praise the child for calming down Keep explanations short and simple Remember! This is a normal part of a toddler’s attempt to assert his independence!

How to deal with Temper Tantrums Most important thing to remember: Do NOT give in to them! Why not? Children will learn that they WORK, and then do it more often!

Emotional Development from 1-3 How does a 24 Month-old typically act? Speech and motor skills have improved Is more patient Expresses love and affection Seeks approval and praise Gets along better with others More outgoing and friendly Less self centered Easier to reason with

30 Months At 30 Months (2 ½ Years)… Learning so much and often feel Overwhelmed Immature Strong need for independence Know what they want to say but cannot say it Sensitive about being bossed, shown, or helped Need consistency and routines

30 Months Moods can change rapidly between… Stubborn, demanding Loving and charming Children feel both dependent and independent May seek help some times, not others Require love and patience Needs consistency and routines

Emotional Development from 1-3 Why are routines important to young children? Helps build confidence and a feeling of security Children know what to expect

Emotional Development from 1-3 36 Months (3 Years) Generally happier, less frustrated More cooperative, will change behavior for praise Learning to be considerate, can be reasoned with More physically capable More willing to take directions from others

Emotional Development from 1-3 Three year olds LOVE to talk! To play mates To toys To self To imaginary companions 1/3 of children are said to have them!

Emotional Development from 1-3 42 Months (3 ½ Years) Becomes insecure Parents may feel a backslide What sorts of fears are common? Afraid of dark Monsters Strangers Loud noises

Emotional Development from 1-3 What are some physical ways that emotional tension can show up? sucking thumb biting nails Stuttering

An Emotional Rollercoaster Directions: Describe a typical toddler at each age. With your group, write a phrase that that child is likely to say (or think) based on what you know about their emotional development. 2 Years 3 Years 18 Months 2 ½ Years 3 ½ Years

Emotional Development from 1-3

Emotional Development from 1-3 Anger Often child’s way of reacting to frustration By 2 or 3, kids can target who they are mad at More likely to happen if child is sick, tired, uncomfortable, hungry Often feel angry if they don’t get their way How does a child typically express anger at 18 months? Hit or kick How does a child typically express anger at 3 years? Name calling, pouting, scolding

Acceptable Ways of Handling Anger Use words Rather than acting out physically… Express feelings with words Speak calmly Even when angry, do not shout, scream or yell Take deep breaths Encourage child to try You too!

Handling Anger Why is it important to not make child feel bad for being angry Child needs to know his feelings are OK and we all get angry sometimes When should you discuss the misbehavior and punishment? After the child has calmed down Suggest other ideas for the child so he knows what to do next time

Emotional Development from 1-3 Most children have some fears Age 1, strangers Age 3, the dark Why are some fears useful they help keep a child safe

Emotional Development from 1-3 Is anyone afraid of… Spiders? Snakes? Heights? Flying? Are your parents afraid? Parents sometimes pass on fears to their kids

Emotional Development from 1-3 Separation Anxiety is… Very common But I feel bad! What can I do? Know that you have chosen a safe place Tell child when you will be back After nap, not at 3:00

Ways to help Toddler’s Deal With Fears What are some ways to help a toddler deal with fears? Offer support and understanding Never shame a child for their fears Encourage talking and listen intently Read books about a child with the same fear Discuss new situations in advance

Emotional Development from 1-3 Jealousy Varies by age 12 Months - minimal 3 Year Old – peaks Sibling Rivalry If there is a new baby, the older child might… Show off Revert to old behaviors (bed wetting, baby talk) Sometimes can be aggressive or mean

Emotional Development from 1-3

Emotional Development from 1-3 Love and Affection Can relationships that children have between 1-3 can affect the child’s capacity for love later in life? Research says yes Babies… “love” those who meet their needs As children grow, affection grows to include Siblings Pets People outside the home

Emotional Development from 1-3 Toddlers learn that their actions can hurt others… Typically between 12-18 months First step to developing empathy What does empathy look like for each age? 12 Months Child may rub back and talk to another who is sad 24 Months Child may offer stuffed animal to help cheer up sad friend

Emotional Development from 1-3 Tips to help teach children empathy If a child does something to hurt another child’s feelings Correct the mistake Apologize Ask child to take an active step towards helping child feel better

Emotional Development from 1-3 You are babysitting David. He took a toy out of Caleb’s hands. Now Caleb is crying. What could you do to help David develop empathy? Return the toy Say sorry Offer to share another toy? Offer a hug?

Emotional Development from 1-3 Individual Differences These are all generalities. Remember: Each child is unique Lots of differences between ages 1-4 A child’s temperament can make a big difference Family life: Only child vs. family of five kids

Emotional Development from 1-3 Self-Concept Children become more aware of their individual differences and the traits that make them special How do children develop their self-concept? Based on actions, attitudes and comments of others Parents or primary caregivers have the strongest influence on a child’s self-concept Mastering skills helps children develop positive self-concept

Emotional Development from 1-3 Why is sleep important in emotional development? Children need enough sleep to be able to function If they don’t get enough sleep… May be less alert, inattentive, even hyperactive may have difficulty thinking, which may impair their ability to control their emotions How much sleep does a 1-3 year old typically need? 12-14 hours each night

Social Development from 1-3 Intro to TOYBOX - Ch 11.2

Social Development from 1-3 Socialization 18 Months parallel play 2 years begin to understand sharing Still parallel play

Social Development from 1-3 2 ½ Years Negativism affects friendships Begin to grasp idea of fairness 3 Years Cooperative play Helping others 3 ½ Years Resolve conflicts Evaluate friendships

Social Development from 1-3 Making Friends Important skill Kids learn the “give and take” of socializing with others May need to teach how Need contact with other young children Learn to cope with kids - rough and tumble Adults are more considerate and polite Let kids work it out unless it is physical or emotionally damaging

Social Development from 1-3 Imaginary Friends Can appear around age 2 More common at 3-4 years Can be helpful for kids to cope with feelings Usually fade away in time

Angela asks her mother if her imaginary friend, Tee Tee can come with her to the dentist, and her mom agrees. On the way there, Angela admits to Tee Tee that she is afraid of going because last time, the dentist made her gums bleed. How might Angela’s mom use Tee Tee’s presence to soothe Angela? Why do you think that Angela told Tee Tee about her fears, rather than her mom?

Social Development from 1-3 How to Help Children Develop Social Skills Establish rules Model good behavior Help kids understand others feelings Show respect for other people’s things Show kids how to use their words Help kids learn specific skills (waiting their turn, sharing, being kind, etc…)

Social Development from 1-3 Guidance Not the same as “punishment” Helps kids learn self-discipline Helps with moral development No single way is the “best” and your methods will change as the child ages

Guidance 12-15 Months 15-24 Months 2-3 Years 3 Years Distract and physically remove object 15-24 Months Spoken instructions + distract/remove 2-3 Years Spoken instructions, explain reason to child 3 Years Usually like to please and will respond to spoken instructions well

Social Development from 1-3 Setting Limits Show an understanding of the child’s desires Set the limit and explain it Acknowledge the child’s feelings Give alternatives Be firm and consistent!

Social Development from 1-3 How can you help encourage independence? Have realistic expectations Kids can begin to Dress, eat, help with some chores Be patient Learning self help skills increases confidence These skills come after a lot of practice

Social Development from 1-3 How can you help to promote sharing? Engage in activities that require sharing Limit materials available Make kids take turns Use the words “sharing” or “taking turns” Put special toys away before friends come over

What are the differences in these two pictures?

Social Development from 1-3 Biting Infants – teething 1 Year – see what happens 2-3 Years – to get their way Hitting Kids are impulsive, still self centered React calmly and help child to use her words Time out One minute per year of age

Social Development from 1-3 Translate these messages into language that avoids scolding or placing blame. To a 1 Year Old: “I told you not to touch that electrical cord!” To a 2 Year Old: “If you jump on your bed again, I might have to take it away!” To a 3 Year Old: “I told you to stay in the yard, but you didn’t listen. Maybe you shouldn’t get to go outside.”

Activity Jake has been working as a volunteer at a child care center. Each day when he’s done, he asks the lead teacher about what he’s seen that day. Read his questions and imagine what you think the teacher would say.

Activity Shayna, who is two and a half, sat for a long time just watching a boy about the same age play with blocks. Is there something wrong with her that she’s not joining in?

Activity Joe was talking about somebody named Justin. But there isn’t anybody in the center or his family with that name. One of the other staff members said that this was Joe’s imaginary friend. Is it OK for him to have an imaginary friend?

Activity One time when two girls were fighting over who would play with the fire truck, you stepped in right away. They were about 18 months old. Why didn’t you let them work it out for themselves? Isn’t it better for them to learn to solve their own problems?

Activity You seemed to make a special point of praising that really quiet girl, Ariana. You told her how much you liked her finger painting, how much she helped in handing out snacks, and how well she sang during music time. Why make such a big fuss over her, when there are lots of other kids who do more or better than she does?