135/bahengsh.wav

What's the point?

You're probably thinking this right now.

And you're probably not alone.

If you never took another English class from this day forward, you would have the basic skills needed to get by in some jobs. But…

You would struggle if you: o Plan to go to college o Plan to earn a living o Want to better understand other subjects (like math, science, history) o Want to form educated opinions on world events and issues o Want to become a critical thinker

In order to achieve these things…

“Soft” written by Mitch M., March 2010 “Dead” written by Missy A., Feb. 2010

Because all that previous stuff-- while vital to your educational success--sounds BORING.

The difference one comma can make… The pecans are just the added bonus!

Or the placement of punctuation. Please don’t smoke your food or your pet!

A customer ordered a cake from Walmart and told the decorator to write “‘Best Wishes Suzanne’ and then underneath that ‘We will Miss You.’” And here’s what the customer got…

Unfortunately, even the college educated and professionals forget essential editing skills learned in English class. I’d like to buy a vowel, Pat. Well, I’ll need a few…

 A sign in a Norwegian cocktail lounge:  LADIES ARE REQUESTED NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN AT THE BAR.

 Sign in a Tokyo taxi cab:  PLEASE FASTEN SEATBELT TO PREPARE FOR CRASH.

 Sign in a Paris hotel:  PLEASE LEAVE YOUR VALUES AT THE FRONT DESK

In an airline ticket office: We take your bags and send them in all directions.

Seen outside a tailor shop: Ladies have fits upstairs.

In a restaurant: We serve people like you as good food!

 Sign in a cafeteria:  Please keep chair on position and keep table cleaned after dying.

In a zoo: Please do not feed the animals. If you have any suitable food, give it to the guard on duty.

 A sign at a small health clinic:  IF YOU SEE A WOMAN LABORING, GO TO A HOSPITAL RIGHT AWAY!

 On a yellow caution sign: CAREFULLY FALL INTO THE RIVER.

Private school: NO TRESPASSING WITHOUT PERMISSION.

 Babysitting ad by college students:  "Please call us! We will provide you with any emergency."

In an advertisement by a dentist: Teeth extracted by the latest Methodists.

“ Colorful dining space surrounded by stained glasses."

 Actually said…  “It is important to me to prevent my children from not smoking.”

 River highway sign: TAKE NOTICE: WHEN THIS SIGN IS UNDER WATER, THIS ROAD IS IMPASSABLE.

 It will take about 1 minute to fix a hot drink. Please wail.

 From the instructions on an action figure toy:  BEWARE OF BEING SWALLOWED BY CHILD, DUE TO SMALL PARTS!

 In a recipe:  Next, put the cabbages in salt water.  Then sit in the sink until the morning.

 On a blog:  Last night friends visited and we served a nice pig dinner.

 On cash register:  Sorry. We can not change.