The Myth of Manhood

Be a Man The last time someone told you to “man up” or “be a Man” what were they telling you to do? Examples: Jump off something, fight someone, try a drug, chug a beer drink shots, don’t cry, etc…. What names are boys called if they don’t conform to the stereotype of a “Real Man?” What is the purpose of these labels?

Pop Culture Images of Successful Men

According to Pop Culture What Makes a Man Valuable? Make a list on the board How are “real men” portrayed in video games, music videos, television, movies and other media?

The Three B’s Ball field Billfold Bedroom FALLACY- a mistaken belief

Ball Field Fallacy Physical ability makes you a MAN. How strong, how “swole,” how athletic you are makes you a MAN. The better man is the one who is bigger, stronger or faster.

Great Ballplayers Are Great Men? Some great athletes are great role models. Some great athletes are poor role models. What do you think? Does athletic ability make you a Man? Click on picture below to watch video #1. Click on “Mike” to watch video #2.

Billfold Fallacy How much money you have makes you a MAN. How much “bling” you show off is what makes you a MAN. The better man is the richer, flashier man.

Wealth Makes a Man? What do you think? Does wealth define a great man?

Bedroom Fallacy How many women you sleep with makes you a MAN. The better man is the one who has more women.

What Do You Think? Click on center picture for video

Case in point / Tiger Woods Tiger was extremely successful on the ballfield, his billfold is that of small countries, and he has slept with many beautiful women. Would you say Tiger is a great example of a highly successful man? Why not?

What are the Effects of the 3 B’s? For men? For women? What do you think are the contributing sources of the warped values of the three B’s?

Health Consequences The 3 B’s are stereotypes, distorted images of manhood Don’t reflect the qualities needed for becoming a successful person, father, husband, friend Believing that a “real man” is: Bigger and faster-increases risk for steroid use Physically dominant -increases risk for violence Tough-makes it difficult to express feelings, ask for help Has lots of partners-makes it difficult to have a healthy, committed relationship, increases risk for STI’s and for causing unintended pregnancy

Think About a Man You Respect What role does he play in your life? What does he do to earn your respect? How does he treat others? (Make list on board)

Is it difficult to be a “true man”? Compare both list. Where are the traits like caring, understanding, and loving? Is it surprising many men have difficulty expressing emotions? Which list portrays the kind of man you want to be or the kind of man you want to be with?

American Crisis / World crisis Destructive cycle- Men today are often under pressure to conform to two roles that do not match each other. Being a successful man based on the warped values of ballfield, billfold and bedroom do not match with being a successful father and husband. This leads to broken homes and absent fathers. This absence leaves an opening for pop cultures’ three B’s to strongly influence a child of an absent father. It is a crisis cycle that makes true manhood increasingly rare!

Joe Ehrmann Coach for America mission: To inform, inspire and initiate individual, communal and societal change that will empower men and women to be their very best – personally, professionally and relationally. NFL Films Present: Joe Ehrmann

Masculinity What do you think about Coach Ehrmann’s version of masculinity? How is it different from the 3 B’s? How do you want to be remembered?

Is “Manhood” in Crisis? Do you think we are faced with a crisis of manhood? How can we help change this negative trend?

What We Can Do Recognize that the 3 B’s are stereotypes, distorted images of what it means to be a man. What really matters is our impact on others, especially those we love. Challenge negative messages about manhood in our own lives and among our friends.