The Backdoor to Success….

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 a : lack of success b : a failing in business : bankruptcy bankruptcy  a : a falling short : deficiency b : deterioration, decaydeficiency deteriorationdecay  : one that has failed 

 Failing a class.  Failed Marriage  Being fired from a job  Your business fails  Feeling a failure as a parent  Failing in a relationship  Not having “enough” wealth  Not reaching your goals  Not having an expected outcome

 a : degree or measure of succeeding b : favorable or desired outcome; also : the attainment of wealth, favor, or eminencesucceedingeminence  : one that succeedssucceeds

 Perspective: Under what perspective do we see the actual issue?  Measure: By what gauge are we using to measure success?  Ability: What ability and motivation are we giving to achieve the outcome?  Standards: By who’s standards are we calculating the outcome?  Will: Are we willing ourselves to achieve the outcome or is this controlled by someone else?  Motive: Do we have motivation to achieve the outcome?

 You failed the second test in your health class. Your parents have high hopes of your being a doctor someday. You have natural talent and want to be a musician.  You’re getting married on Saturday to someone you do not love. But, you don’t want to disappoint your parents….  You got fired from a job that you hated. Secretly, you are glad, because it wasn’t a good fit. However, your parents were so proud of you because you worked for the company and you’re afraid to tell them the news.

 You’ve tried to be the best parents to your daughter. She has been given all the best opportunities to be successful. At age 20, she decides to do drugs and ends up being arrested You feel like you failed as parents…  You want to be as rich as your best friend. He has always placed a great deal of stock on wealth and compares you to him constantly. You have your own business and are successful in that venturel; but your friend makes you feel like you’re a failure.

 Your neighbor is always bragging about how well he is doing. You now are critical of what you have and compare your family to his… wishing they could be more like your neighbors’ family.  You lost your job because of the economy, and now you feel like you failed…  Your parents have labeled you, criticized you and have told you that you don’t “measure up” to what they want… but by your own rights, you are successful!

 Maybe you’re living your life for someone else.  Maybe you’re not happy because you just haven’t found the right job fit.  Maybe you are accepting blame for something that isn't’ your fault.  Maybe your not seeing your success for what it is…  Maybe you lack the ability or skill or will power.  Maybe you lack the motive because it just doesn’t work for you.  Maybe you aren’t being true and honest with yourself or others about what you want vs. what they want.  Maybe you don’t actually want the outcome because it wasn’t yours to being with?  Maybe the thing the your want actually requires God-given talent, and you don’t have it. Maybe you haven’t discovered what yours is yet!  Maybe your heart just isn’t in it? …And it doesn’t feel right!  Maybe you need to standup for what you want and create boundaries with those in your life!!!

1. As for “failure,” to what degree are you going to let this have an effect on your life? 2. To what degree are you going to measure happiness and success? 3. To what degree are you willing to stop trying to please everyone else in your life and start LIVING your life as you were intended to live it?

“I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody. “ Bill Cosby

Having clear boundaries is essential to a healthy, balanced lifestyle. A boundary is a personal property line that marks those things for which we are responsible. In other words, boundaries define who we are and who we are not. This book answer questions like: What are legitimate boundaries? What if someone is upset or hurt by my boundaries? – How do I answer someone who wants my time, love, energy, or money? – Aren't boundaries selfish? – Why do I feel guilty or afraid when I consider setting boundaries?

Necessary Endings: The Employees, Businesses, and Relationships That All of Us Have to Give Up in Order to Move Forward [Hardcover] Henry Cloud Henry Cloud (Author) › Visit Amazon's Henry Cloud PageVisit Amazon's Henry Cloud Page Find all the books, read about the author, and more. See search results for this authorsearch results Are you an author? Learn about Author CentralLearn about Author Central (Author) 4.6 out of 5 stars See all reviews 4.6 out of 5 stars See all reviews (57 customer reviews) | Like false (78)57 customer reviewsLike

Don't aim for success if you want it; just do what you love and believe in, and it will come naturally. David Frost David Frost

 Everyone goes through struggles…  Everyone will fail at something…  Everyone will find difficulty in life at one point or another…  Everyone will know, to a certain degree what it is like to lose something precious…  Because you are human, you must run the race…

“I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than to be a success at something you hate. “ George Burns George Burns “Develop success from failures. Discouragement and failure are two of the surest stepping stones to success. Dale Carnegie Dale Carnegie

I DON’T HAVE WHAT IT TAKES… REALLY?

Success is to be measured not so much by the position that one has reached in life as by the obstacles which he has overcome. Booker T. Washington

Success is a lousy teacher. It seduces smart people into thinking they can't lose. Bill Gates Bill Gates Success is getting what you want. Happiness is wanting what you get. Dale Carnegie Dale Carnegie

“If failure is the back door to success, try the back door!” Nancy Holland