Covey, Sean. The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens. New York: Fireside, By Mrs. Johnson and Mrs. Adamoski

“I am the force, I am the captain of my life. I can choose my attitude. I’m responsible for my own happiness and unhappiness. I am in the driver’s seat of my destiny, not just a passenger.”

 Proactive- those who take responsibility for their lives  Reactive- those who blame others for their problems Every day you will have about 100 chances to be proactive or reactive…THE CHOICE IS YOURS!

Reactive Statements Proactive Statements  I’ll try  That’s just the way I am  There’s nothing I can do  I can’t do it  You ruined my day  I can do it  I can do better than that  Let’s look at all the options  I can do it, there has to be a way  I’m not going to let your bad mood ruin my day LISTEN TO YOUR LANGUAGE

 Reactive People make choices based on impulse.  They are like a can of pop. If life shakes them up a bit, they explode.

People who suffer from this “virus” say things like:  “I would be starting in today’s game, but the coaches have something against me.”  “I would have gotten an A on my test if my best friend didn’t make me stay out late last night.”  “I would be happier if my parents would just get off my back.” THEY NEVER TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR THEIR ACTIONS, PROBLEMS, AND HAPPINESS.

 Are easily offended  Blame others  Get angry and say things they later regret  Whine and complain  Wait for things to happen to them  Change only when they have to

I I walk down the street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk I fall in. I am lost — I am hopeless. It isn't my fault. It takes forever to find a way out. II I walk down the same street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk I pretend I don't see it. I fall in again I can't believe I'm in the same place But it isn't my fault It still takes a long time to get out. III I walk down the same street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk I see it is there. I still fall in — it's a habit My eyes are open I know where I am It is MY fault. I get out immediately. IV I walk down the same street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk I walk around it. V I walk down a DIFFERENT street

 Don’t become easily offended  Take responsibility for your choices  Think before you act  Bounce back when something bad happens  Always find a way to make it happen  Realize you can’t control everything that HAPPENS to you

HOW WE RESPOND to what happens to us We will feel like VICTIMS if we worry about the things we cannot change

Story: “I got on my motorcycle to ride to work one day. At an intersection, a laundry truck and I collided. The bike went down, crushed my elbow and fractured my pelvis, and the gas can popped open on my bike. As the gas poured out, the heat of the engine ignited it, and I got burned over 65% of my body. After numerous surgeries and treatments I suffered another tragedy. A few years later, I was in a plane crash that paralyzed the lower half of my body.”

He tells people who are also suffering from extreme conditions… “Before this happened to me, there were 10,000 things I could do. Now there are 9,000. Rather than dwell on the 1,000 things I lost, I look forward to the 9,000 things left.”

Unfortunately, kids who come from dysfunctional families, are at a higher risk of repeating the same bad choices or habits. Hilda came from a family that didn’t make much money. Her mom worked in a factory and her dad made just above minimum wage. They were always busy, and didn’t have much time to help Hilda with school. Hilda was determined to finish high school, go to college, and get a good job, even though nobody in her family had made it through college. Although she got married and had a baby right after high school, she continued to go to school and met her goal of graduating college. Now, because of her education, she is able to value school and support her kids through their education. She was the POSITIVE CHANGE in her family!

You overhear your best friend bad- mouthing you in front of a group. She doesn’t know you overheard her. In fact, just five minutes ago she was telling you a secret. You feel hurt and betrayed. How would you handle this if you are being reactive/proactive?

Reactive Choices Proactive Choices  Tell her off  Become depressed because you are so hurt by her  Give her the silent treatment for 2 months  Spread vicious rumors about her, after all, she did it to you!  Forgive her  Take some time to cool off, then confront her, and talk it out  Ignore it and give her a second chance. Realize we all have weaknesses, and you’ve probably talked about her at some point too.

You start a new school and one of the students starts bullying you. For some reason this person has decided he doesn’t like you. He says rude and insulting things to you everyday, and he’s in a lot of your classes. He constantly talks behind your back and is getting other kids to dislike you too. How would you handle this if you were being reactive/ proactive?

Reactive Proactive  Punch him  Yell at him  Talk bad about him to other kids  Cry  Walk with your head down as you pass him in the halls  Ignore him  Keep your head held high  Make friends with other people in the school  Report him to a teacher  Smile at him and say “hello” “If you don’t react to his bullying attempts, it will get old and he will move on.”

When someone is rude to you, where do you get the power to resist being rude back? JUST PUSH PAUSE! If you learn to pause, get control, and think about how you will respond, you’ll make smarter decisions.

 Self Awareness- I can stand apart from myself and observe my thoughts and actions  Conscience- I can listen to my inner voice to know right from wrong  Imagination- I can envision new possibilities  Willpower- I have the power to choose The more you use these tools, the stronger they become, and the easier it is to be proactive.

You didn’t study for your Spanish midterm, and one of your friends snagged a copy of the test. You reach for the stolen copy of the test, but you stop… Use your POWER PACK TOOLS  Imagine- what could happen if you do this?  Conscience- what does my inner voice tell me I should do?  Willpower- what will I choose?

It’s so much easier to be reactive and lose your cool. Acting this way doesn’t take any control. And it’s easier to whine and complain than take on the responsibilities. Without question, being PROACTIVE is the higher road, that takes more effort.

 courageous, persistent, and smart  easy to work with  cooperative  not stressing about the things they cannot change  in control of their lives  positive thinkers  HAPPY!

 Do something today that you have always wanted to do, but never dared. Raise your hand in class, say hi to somebody you’d like to be friends with, try out for a sports team…  Write yourself a post-it note. “I will not let _________ (person’s name) determine how I feel today” Hang it in your locker as a reminder.  If you get in a fight with a friend or parent, be the first to apologize and open lines of communication.  Push the pause button before you react to somebody bumping you in the hall, calling you a name, or cutting you in line.  Use your tool of self-awareness right now. What is your most unhealthy habit? _____________________________  What are you going to do about it? _____________________________

Whether I fail or succeed shall be no man’s doing but my own. I AM THE FORCE! I can clear any obstacle before me, or I can be lost in the maze. My choice, my responsibility, win or lose, only I hold the key to my future.” -Elaine Maxwell Are you in the driver’s seat of your life, or are you merely the passenger? The choice is yours!