If A Reporter Asks About Your Mistress… …post something on your Facebook page, talking about how you’ve adopted a deserving 27- year-old lingerie model who was so skinny that she might have starved to death. Remember to link to photos to prove your case. If A Reporter Questions Your Expense Account… …tweet that your Gulfstream has been in the shop for the last time, and you’re purchasing Willie Nelson’s old tour bus and will be driving to all of your overseas fact-finding missions from now on. Don’t mention the ganja in the master suite. If A Reporter Hears About Your Un-Documented Nanny… …blog that you’ve embarked on a new Rosetta Stone “full immersion” language lesson series where you get not only the DVDs and tapes, but an actual Spanish-speaking person to come to your house for 45-days to help you prepare for your trip. If A Reporter Prints That Your Wife Has Left You… …post a travel review to Yelp claiming that Delta Airlines booked a ticket for a woman with your wife’s name to Mazatlan, along with your pool boy and all your mutual funds. If A Reporter Calls To Confirm That You’ve Been Laid Off As CEO… …crumple paper near the receiver and claim a bad Skype connection.

Mark Boone Community Roundtable School District Five

Value/Expectations

Universal Truths Thus, Nothing exists, universally

PANIC!!!!

PANICPANIC

PAUSE A N I C

PANICPANIC

P ACKNOWLEDGE N I C

PANICPANIC

P A NAME I C

PANICPANIC

P A N INVESTIGATE C

PANICPANIC

P A N I CHILL

PAUSE ACKNOWLEGE NAME IT INVESTIGATE CHILL

Mark Boone Community Roundtable School District Five