Debbie Mehaffy Joanne Kelly Regional Trainers Supporting children & young people under stress

Objectives Recognise & effectively respond to young people under stress Explain the potential health impacts of living with domestic abuse on women, children & young people. Outline support services available where those under stress may be referred. 24 Hour Domestic Violence Helpline: Hour Domestic & Sexual Violence Helpline: Open to all women and men affected by domestic & sexual violence

Women’s Aid in Northern Ireland 24 Hour Domestic & Sexual Violence Helpline: Open to all women and men affected by domestic & sexual violence

Women’s Aid services 24 Helpline 24 Hour crisis accommodation Outreach, court support Self development programmes Children and young people’s groups Children and young person’s support Prevention programmes, e.g. Helping Hands External training to a range of statutory, voluntary/ community Groups Volunteering opportunities 24 Hour Domestic & Sexual Violence Helpline: Open to all women and men affected by domestic & sexual violence 24 Hour Domestic & Sexual Violence Helpline: Open to all women and men affected by domestic & sexual violence

24 Hour Domestic & Sexual Violence Helpline Freephone from all landlines and mobiles. Translation service available Support: Text support to ,597 calls managed

“When you hear your mother screaming for help you have to zone out and pray,’ It’s the only thing you can do when you can’t help”.

24 Hour Domestic Violence Helpline: Hour Domestic & Sexual Violence Helpline: Open to all women and men affected by domestic & sexual violence What is Domestic Abuse? 7

24 Hour Domestic Violence Helpline: What is domestic abuse ? …the intentional and persistent physical or emotional abuse of a woman, or of a woman and her children in a way that causes pain, distress or injury. Definition by Women’s Aid 24 Hour Domestic & Sexual Violence Helpline: Open to all women and men affected by domestic & sexual violence

24 Hour Domestic Violence Helpline: Hour Domestic & Sexual Violence Helpline: Open to all women and men affected by domestic & sexual violence Tackling Violence at Home - definition “Threatening behaviour, violence or abuse (psychological, physical, verbal, sexual, financial or emotional) inflicted on one person by another where they are or have been intimate partners or family members, irrespective of gender or sexual orientation.” TVAH – A Strategy for Addressing Domestic Violence and Abuse in Northern Ireland.

24 Hour Domestic Violence Helpline: Hour Domestic & Sexual Violence Helpline: Open to all women and men affected by domestic & sexual violence Although domestic violence is chronically under-reported research shows:- Estimated 1 in 4 women will experience domestic violence at sometime in their life Estimated that between one third and two thirds of children in homes where the mother is being abused are also at risk of abuse. Over 30% of all domestic violence starts during pregnancy.* A total of 1200 highest risk victims were referred to MARAC in one year with 1800 children involved in those families. (*NIO Statistics & Research Branch Bulletin 16/2008 “Experience of Domestic Violence :

24 Hour Domestic Violence Helpline: Hour Domestic & Sexual Violence Helpline: Open to all women and men affected by domestic & sexual violence PSNI Statistics How frequently do PSNI respond to a domestic abuse incident? Are there more car thefts or domestic related crimes in Northern Ireland? Police Recorded Crime in Northern Ireland: 1 April 2012 to 31 March PSNI Northern Ireland Statistics and Research Agency

24 Hour Domestic Violence Helpline: Hour Domestic & Sexual Violence Helpline: Open to all women and men affected by domestic & sexual violence PSNI Statistics PSNI responded to domestic incident every 19 minutes More than 5 times as many domestic related crimes as car thefts 17 murders, 5 with domestic motivation (29% of all murders) 27,190 incidents with a domestic motivation reported. Highest level DV crimes ever recorded (started 2004) Police Recorded Crime in Northern Ireland: 1 April 2012 to 31 March PSNI Northern Ireland Statistics and Research Agency

24 Hour Domestic Violence Helpline: Hour Domestic & Sexual Violence Helpline: Open to all women and men affected by domestic & sexual violence Latest regional statistics April 2012 to March 2013 There were 47,597 calls to the helpline for information, advice and support (14.5 % increase) 880 women and 546 children stayed in Women’s Aid refuges Every day in Northern Ireland another 4 women and children come to stay in refuge because home is not a safe place. 14 Babies were born

24 Hour Domestic Violence Helpline: Hour Domestic & Sexual Violence Helpline: Open to all women and men affected by domestic & sexual violence The impact of domestic violence ✔ Depression ✔ Insomnia ✔ Anxiety ✔ Unexplained somatic symptoms e.g. stomach pains, palpitations, headaches ✔ Alcohol/drug dependency ✔ Eating disorders ✔ Low self esteem ✔ Physical injuries – bruises, burns, black eyes etc. ✔ Still-birth/miscarriage

24 Hour Domestic Violence Helpline: And what of the hidden victims? 24 Hour Domestic & Sexual Violence Helpline: Open to all women and men affected by domestic & sexual violence

24 Hour Domestic Violence Helpline: Hour Domestic & Sexual Violence Helpline: Open to all women and men affected by domestic & sexual violence The Dolls House

24 Hour Domestic Violence Helpline: Hour Domestic & Sexual Violence Helpline: Open to all women and men affected by domestic & sexual violence Impact on children Fear Confusion Guilt Tummy aches Frustration Anger Stress related conditions Overachieve or underachieve

24 Hour Domestic Violence Helpline: Department of Education Every School a Good School August 2009

24 Hour Domestic Violence Helpline: Lessons Children can Learn from Domestic Violence The victim of violence is to blame Violence and threats get you what you want, win arguments or solve problems Boys/men should be in control and girls/women should obey When people hurt others, they do not get into trouble Anger causes violence or drinking causes violence A person can love you and hurt you at the same time Anger should be suppressed because it could get out of control 24 Hour Domestic Violence Helpline: Open to anyone affected by domestic violence 24 Hour Domestic & Sexual Violence Helpline: Open to all women and men affected by domestic & sexual violence

24 Hour Domestic Violence Helpline: Hour Domestic & Sexual Violence Helpline: Open to all women and men affected by domestic & sexual violence What about our young people? Hear Me Speak - Niamh’s Story “School and home life both mixed together are hassle. Teachers nagging, coursework and exams are hard enough, but compared to the reality what some face when they enter the door of their home…….” “The only way I could cope with this was to sit on the bathroom floor with a bleach bottle and a razor, never actually doing anything to myself, but having the thoughts were worse. Depression at my age isn’t good and suffering alone inside is the thing that gave me the depression. School life seems so much better than this”.

24 Hour Domestic Violence Helpline: Hour Domestic & Sexual Violence Helpline: Open to all women and men affected by domestic & sexual violence How would you support a young person under stress in your workplace?

Best Response Respect Accept what you hear Risk Assess Appropriate referrals for support Follow your organisation’s Policies and Procedures Non-judgemental approach Possible advocacy Keep within boundaries of your role & keep yourself safe 24 Hour Domestic Violence Helpline:

24 Hour Domestic Violence Helpline: Niamh’s Story – One Year On “Depression and darkness are a distant emotion, which I once associated with my grim past, but over one year on happiness is the only word I live for” Hour Domestic & Sexual Violence Helpline: Open to all women and men affected by domestic & sexual violence “When I enter my home now, I feel safe and happy, not like I did in the past. When I walk up to my home I smile, because this is were I want to be. I am now looking forward, instead of looking back. I have so much to look forward to. I am getting ready to learn to drive and I have also applied for my first job. Even though I have lots of happy days, I do have those days that I feel down, but I never feel like life isn’t worth living. Everyone has their down days. Life is like the waves, sometimes its up and sometimes it down, its natural. I always like to say if you didn’t have a down day, then you wouldn’t enjoy the good times. ”

24 Hour Domestic Violence Helpline: Hour Domestic & Sexual Violence Helpline: Open to all women and men affected by domestic & sexual violence What would help you in your work place? More information – leaflets & posters etc. Training on the Issue of Domestic Violence Work based domestic violence policies Contact with Local Women’s Aid Groups Becoming an active member of domestic violence partnerships

25 The Helping Hands programme: Prevention, Protection and Support Provides an education resource that will assist the support and protection of children who may not be feeling safe Creates a series of learning opportunities for teachers and children to develop a shared language, understanding and interventions to increase safety

24 Hour Domestic Violence Helpline: Everyone can do something to prevent domestic violence 24 Hour Domestic & Sexual Violence Helpline: Open to all women and men affected by domestic & sexual violence