Mentors/Mentees Navigating the Mentor Relationship

Students’ Common Complaints The mentor never gives timely answers to my calls The mentor makes me feel like I’m bothering him/her The mentor is too busy. The meeting is rushed The mentor talks over my head

The advice is vague. I don’t know what to do afterwards. The mentor insists on too many rewrites. The mentor changes his/her mind and gives conflicting advice. The mentor doesn’t return drafts quickly. The mentor doesn’t give help when I need it.

Students’ Common Complaints The mentor focuses too much on the details and misses the big picture. The mentor wants me to work on what they are interested in.

Mentor Common Complaints The student calls without organizing his/her thoughts. The student calls with unimportant matters. The student thinks he/she is the only student I have. The student doesn’t have basic skills for research.

Mentor Common Complaints The student can’t write well. The student expects me to do the research project for him/her. The student freaks out over revisions. The student underestimates how long things take and misses deadlines.

Mentor Common Complaints The student expects me to rescue him/her from problems. The student presents sloppy work. The student refuses to take the initiative.

Your Role with the Mentor Maintain contact. Communicate your needs. – Topical Advice – Supportive Advice

Role with Mentor Be a charmer – Read non-verbals – Acknowledge feelings by matching gestures – Set a positive environment – Remain friendly and cheerful Show initiative and accept criticism Be organized and use mentor’s time effectively

Role with Mentor Exhibit personal integrity Exhibit professionalism, maturity, and a strong work ethic Be responsive to advice Be honest about progress Develop the ability to work independently

Traits of the Ideal Mentor Has reasonable expectations Reads and comments on material in a timely manner Remains consistent Sees mentor role as important

Ideal Mentor Interested in you as a person and scholar Meets regularly Provides guidance on becoming a professional in your field

Being an Ideal Mentee Observe common courtesies – Don’t appear without an appointment—unless your mentor encourages this. – Call or and leave a message about when you need an appointment. – Let the mentor get back to you with convenient times.

Ideal Mentee Keep every appointment. If you must cancel, call as soon as possible and apologize. Come to the meeting on time. Be prompt. Pace the conversation to cover all of your points. If you hear impatience in your mentor’s voice, cut the meeting short and reschedule.

Ideal Mentee If the mentor extends the meeting with questions or chit chat, patiently go along. Listen—Don’t interrupt. Take notes. Come prepared. What exactly do you need? Bring your materials.