Cultural Humility & Communication Mary & Kieu Mary Kasik, CASA Specialist Kieu Tu, CASA Specialist Child Advocates of Silicon Valley

Culture…. Mary

Cultural Humility is: A stance toward understanding culture. It requires a commitment to lifelong learning, continuous self- reflection on one’s own assumptions and practices, comfort with ‘not knowing’, and recognition of the power/privilege imbalance that exists between clients and health professionals. An interactive approach: we approach another person with openness to learn; we ask questions rather than make assumptions; and we strive to understand rather than to inform. Mary

Agreements Honor Confidentiality Unconditional Respect for Yourself & Others Speak Your Truth No Put-downs Agree to Disagree Everyone Has the Right to Pass Experience Discomfort Be conscious of body language and nonverbal responses -- they can be as disrespectful as words. Expect and Accept Non-closure Anything Else? Mary

How do you identify yourself? Write your name in the center circle. In the smaller circles, write down 7 groups with which you identify. Talk about a time where you felt proud or included as a member of that group. Talk about a time where you felt upset or excluded as a member of that group.

Activity: My String of Beads Go around the room to each of the 7 stations and read the statements silently. Take 1 bead for each statement that applies to you and string it on your cord. What do you think this activity was about? How did it make you feel? What can you do with your privilege? Kieu

A Trip to the Grocery Store Kieu A Trip to the Grocery Store Joy DeGruy, Author and Educator https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GTvU7uUgjUI

Cultural acknowledgement Please disperse yourself up into groups including 3-4 members in each group. Discuss the following: Why is it so important for our kids to be comfortable and proud of their culture? It is our responsibility, as a CASA, to help them do that? How can we do that? Mary

Activity: Power Shuffle Honor confidentiality Unconditionally respect yourself and others Speak for yourself only Actively listen No put-downs Give caring feedback This exercise will include a dialogue, not a debate Agree to disagree Everyone has the right to pass It is okay to express your emotions No “rescuing” Take responsibility for you own learning - ask for what you need. Kieu

Communication…. Kieu

Communication is: Connection between people The successful conveying or sharing of ideas and feelings Social Contact Different for everyone Kieu

TED Talks: 10 ways to have a better conversation Kieu TED Talks: 10 ways to have a better conversation Celeste Headlee

10 ways to have a better conversation 1. Don’t multitask—be present, be in that moment 2. Don’t pontificate –set aside your personal opinions 3. Use open ended questions—who, what, where, when, how 4. Go with the flow—thoughts will come in your mind, let them go out of your mind 5. If you don’t know say that you don’t know 6. Don’t equate your experience with theirs—all experiences are individual; it is not the same 7. Try not to repeat yourself—it is condescending and boring 8. Stay out of the weeds—leave out the details 9. Listen—listen with the intent to understand not with the intent to reply 10. Be brief— “a good conversation is like a miniskirt; short enough to retain interest, but long enough to cover the subject.” Mary & Kieu End Note: Opening a Discussion to ask them to provide examples of how this may relate to when they become a CASA.

ACTIVITY: Happy & Sad Moments Instructions: pair up with a person not in your group. There will be two rounds of sharing. Each round you will have a different task. Based on your group’s instructions you will communicate accordingly. Be creative on how you are delivering and listening. First Round Go! Second Round Go! ACTIVITY: Happy & Sad Moments Mary & Kieu First Round: Group 1: Not listening, Group 2: a moment where you felt happy from childhood Second Round: Group 1: A moment where you felt sad in childhood, Group 2: Active Listening GROUP 1: MARY GROUP 2: KIEU

ACTIVITY: Happy & Sad Moments For the First Round, we asked Group 1 to not listen and for Group 2 to share a moment where you felt happy from childhood. For the Second Round, we asked for Group 1 to share a moment where you felt sad from childhood and for Group 2 to be an active listener. How did this make you feel in both situations? How can you tell if the other person was not listening? How can you tell if the other person was listening? ACTIVITY: Happy & Sad Moments Kieu REFLECTION

4 Methods of Communication Passive Communication Aggressive Communication Passive-Aggressive Communication Assertive Communication Kieu

4 Methods of Communication Passive Communication: a style in which individuals have developed a pattern of avoiding expressing their opinions of feelings, protecting their rights, and identifying and meeting their needs. Aggressive Communication: a style in which individuals express their feelings and opinions and advocate for their needs in a way that violates the rights of others. Passive-Aggressive Communication: a style in which individuals appear passive on the surface but are really acting out anger in a subtle, indirect, or behind-the-scenes way. Assertive Communication: a style in which individuals clearly state their opinions and feelings, and firmly advocate for their rights and needs without violating the rights of others. Kieu: First two bullets, Mary: last two bullets. Examples: Mary & Kieu

4 Methods of Communication A take away: think about how you identify your style and what communication style you are. Think about how this will influence the way you communicate being a Child Advocate. We encourage Assertive Communication as a Child Advocate. Kieu

The Goal An examination of one’s prejudices, an effort to truly understand and empathize with others, the development of an appreciation of differences, and, hopefully, the establishment of real, positive connection. Mary

Wrap Up Mary & Kieu