Love and Intimacy cont’d The triangular theory of love (Sternberg) suggests that there are three components to love. Intimacy: the emotional aspect of love and includes closeness, sharing, communication, and support. Passion: the motivational aspect of love which involves physiological arousal and intense desire to be united with the loved one. Commitment: the cognitive aspect of love which includes both the short-term affirmation of love for the person and the long-term commitment to maintain that love.

Culture influences perceptions of love: Love and Intimacy cont’d Culture influences perceptions of love: Individualistic societies (e.g., United States): Romantic love is an important basis for marriage. Intimacy is important for marital satisfaction. Collective societies (e.g., India): Other reasons (e.g., economic) act as the basis for marriage. The divorce rate is lower in these societies.

Love and Intimacy cont’d Love and Close Relationships Our development is reflected in our close relationships. Attachment style (our typical style of becoming involved with others) influences romantic attachments. People with: Secure attachments: are happy and secure with a partner. Avoidant attachments: are uneasy when intimate with a partner. Anxious-ambivalent attachments: are very close to but wary of abandonment by partner. How people approach close relationships reflects their personal development (e.g. style of attachment to parents). Attachment style (our typical style of becoming involved with others) influences romantic attachments. People with: Secure attachments: are happy and secure with a partner. Avoidant attachments: are uneasy when intimate with a partner. Anxious-ambivalent attachments: are very close to but wary of abandonment by partner.

The practice of unmarried persons living together. Commitment Cohabitation The practice of unmarried persons living together. Most who cohabit are in their twenties to forties. The cohabitation effect is where couples who cohabit first have greater relationship instability in marriage than those who do not cohabit.

Marriage and Other Committed Relationships Commitment cont’d Marriage and Other Committed Relationships Marriage is the state of being married; usually the legal union of two people. People tend to marry persons who are similar in age, education, ethnic, social background. Same-sex marriage is not legal in most states; many legislatures are considering laws regarding this type of union. …undermines the family? Most Americans support some kind of civil union…. …satisfaction levels are similar to that of heterosexual couples. Marriage and Other Committed Relationships Marriage is the state of being married; usually the legal union of two people. People tend to marry persons who are similar in age, education, ethnic, and social background. Same-sex marriage is not legal in most states, although many legislatures are considering laws regarding this type of union. Although many Americans consistently report believing same-sex marriage undermined the family, most Americans support some kind of civil union… Kurdek (2005) found that gay partners tend to assign household chores more fairly, resolve conflicts more constructively and experience a more equal level of satisfaction with the relationship. Relationship satisfaction levels or homosexual couples are similar to that of heterosexual couples.

Marriage and Other Committed Relationships Commitment cont’d Marriage and Other Committed Relationships …people wait longer to marry today—until they are in their 20s or 30s. Most marriages in the U.S. are voluntary marriages--based on the assumption that two people will remain married only as long as they are in love. Marriage and Other Committed Relationships …people wait longer to marry today—until they are in their 20s or 30s. Most marriages in the U.S. are voluntary marriages-based on the assumption that two people will remain married only as long as they are in love.

The sense of gratification and contentment Commitment cont’d Marital Satisfaction The sense of gratification and contentment in a marriage. Happy couples: use positive behaviors (e.g., humor) when arguing to defuse the conflict. use joint problem-solving. have fun together. have similar attitudes.

communicate accepting and unconditional attitudes toward one another. Commitment cont’d Happy couples: engage in high levels of self-disclosure–the sharing of intimate or personal information with another. communicate accepting and unconditional attitudes toward one another. find consummate love, the balanced combination of intimacy, commitment, and passion. Unhappy couples use toxic communications with one another, such as criticism and contempt.