1. Cohabitation: Sliding vs. deciding

2. Trends in U.S. Relationships
Median age at first marriage: 27.1 for men, 25.3 for women
Divorce rate: approximately 50%
Children born to unmarried parents: 36.8% Cohabiting couples with children: 40%
60-75% of couples live together before marriage
Bumpass & Lu, 2000; CDC, 2002, 2006; Raley & Bumpass, 2003; Stanley et al., 2004; U.S. Census, 2003

3. Trends in U.S. Beliefs
60% of Americans BELIEVE that living together before marriage is a bad idea
86.3% of never-married Americans would like to be married someday
94% of Americans 18 or over agree that divorce is a serious national problem
97% of married Americans expect to be married for life
Glenn, 2005

4. Important concepts
Sliding vs. deciding vs. coasting
Committment

5. DECIDING Choosing by Default “SLIDING” Not aware of other alternatives
Path of least resistance
Power of INERTIA
Societal or peer pressures
Not making choice

6. Making a DECISION Choosing Knowledgeably
Recognizing you have options/choices
Knowing about alternatives
Paying attention to your values and feelings
Considering consequences (Pro’s and Con’s)
Re-checking

11. What is Commitment?
Commitment involves a decision to give up other choices
Constraint commitment
Dedication commitment
Is cohabitation a commitment?

12. “The Cohabitation Effect”
Couples who cohabit pre-maritally are 1.26 – 1.86 times more likely to divorce
Premarital cohabitation is associated with:
Lower marital satisfaction
Poorer perceived and observed communication in marriage
More marital conflict
Higher rates of domestic violence
Higher rates of infidelity
Higher rates of alcohol and drug abuse

13. Explaining the Cohabitation Effect
1) It’s about the people who cohabit. “Self-selection effect” 2) It’s about the experience of cohabitation changing values about marriage. 3) It’s about cohabitation creating inertia that makes it harder to break up.

14. Who, How, When, and Why? Who cohabits: selection How it begins:
sliding or deciding
When it begins relative to clarity of commitment
Why people cohabit: what are their reasons

15. Who Cohabits?
Compared to daters with plans to marry, those cohabiting with plans to marry…
Have less education
Are more likely to already have children
Have had more sexual partners
Are more likely to have divorced parents
Experienced more conflict in their families growing up
Have more favorable attitudes toward divorce and less favorable attitudes toward marriage
Are less religious

16. Religiousness and Cohabitation
“My religious beliefs suggest that it is wrong for people to live together without being married”:
49% of those dating agree (35% strongly)
30% of those cohabiting agree (16% strongly)

17. “Her family kicked her out.”
H o w ?
“Her family
kicked her out.”  
“It just kind of happened. Circumstances created the situation.”  

18. How does it Begin? How did you start living together?
1/3
“We didn’t think about it or plan it. We slid into it.”
“We talked about it, but then it just sort of happened.”
“We talked about it, planned it, and then made a decision together to do it.” 18

19. Inertia Theory Cohabitation may make it harder to break up.
Constraints such as sharing debt, having a lease, or making major purchases, increase in cohabitation and are associated with thinking it’s less likely the relationship will end.
Some might marry a person they would not have married if that hadn’t been cohabiting.

20. W h e n ?
“He said: To give the relationship a chance at becoming very serious. To see if we can live together.”
“She said: He was moving to my city and we already were engaged. And, it made sense financially.”

21. When does it Begin? 66% started cohabiting without plans for marriage
Among those cohabiting:
66% started cohabiting without plans for marriage
23% started cohabiting with plans, but no engagement
11% started cohabiting with an engagement
People who were already engaged are more likely to have made a decision about cohabiting.

22. W h y ?
“I felt it was time to take the next step in my relationship. I feel that if I love him, I need to know if living with him will change anything.”

23. Why Live Together? I wanted to spend more time with my partner 46% 44%
Men
Women
I wanted to spend more time with my partner
46%
44%
It was inconvenient to live apart
24%
22%
I wanted us to take a step up in commitment
13%
16%
We had a child to raise together 7%
I wanted to test out our relationship before marriage 9% 5%
I don't believe in the institution of marriage
0.8%
0.4%

24. Summary: Research on Cohabitation
People tend to slide into living together
Other options become constrained, but before a decision to give up those alternatives is made
Living together before marriage is associated with higher risk for marital distress and divorce

25. Expanding Sliding vs. Deciding
Other relevant developments in relationships that may constrain options?
Beginning a sexual relationship
Having a child, particularly outside of marriage
Obtaining a divorce

26. Sliding vs. Deciding: Children
Attitude
Behavior
National survey item: All things being equal, it is better for children to be raised in a household that has a married mother and father
89% agree
60% of births to women are nonmarital; 33% to women 25-29
Children born to unmarried parents experience more financial and social problems
Among unmarried couples, 71% of births were unplanned
Glenn, 2005; Ventura, 2009

27. Sliding vs. Deciding: Divorce
Attitude
Behavior
National survey item: Divorce is a serious national problem
94% agree
36-60% of marriages end in divorce
Glenn, 2005; Raley & Bumpass, 2003

28. Sliding vs. Deciding: Divorce
Attitude
Belief
97% of married Americans expect to be married for life
62% of divorced Americans said they wished their spouse had worked harder to save their marriage
35% of ex-husbands and 21% of ex-wives said they wished they, themselves, had worked harder.
Glenn, 2005; Raley & Bumpass, 2003