Love, Intimacy, and Sexual Communication Chapter Four Love, Intimacy, and Sexual Communication

Historical Perspectives Arrange Marriages Dowries Bundling Marriage for Love and Intimacy

Establishing Early Intimacy Field of Eligibles Physical Attractiveness The “Beautiful is Better” Bias The Effect of Media The Matching Hypothesis Proximity Proximity Effect Mere Exposure Effect Similarity Flirting Reciprocity of Attraction Encourage students to complete the Self-Discovery Your Field of Eligibles activity on page 99.

John Lee’s Styles of Love The Six Styles Eros Love Ludus Love Storge Love Mania Love Pragma Love Agape Love Combining Love Styles Encourage students to complete the Self-Discovery Styles of Love Scale activity on page 107. Encourage students to view Table 4.1: Compatibility of Love Styles in Relationships..

John Lee’s Styles of Love (cont.) Encourage students to view Table 4.1: Compatibility of Love Styles in Relationships..

Robert Sternberg’s Triangular Theory of Love The Three Components Intimacy Passion Commitment

Robert Sternberg’s Triangular Theory of Love Possible Combinations of the Three Components Liking (I) Infatuation (P) Empty Love (C) Romantic Love (I & P) Fatuous Love (P &C) Companionate Love (I &C) Consummate Love (I, P & C) Applying the Triangular Theory Encourage students to complete the Self-Discovery The Triangle of Your Love activity on page 113.

Communication In Love Relationships Self-Disclosure: How Much Should You Reveal About Yourself? Behavioral Attributions: Why Did You Do That? Relationship-enhancing Attributions Distress-maintaining Attributions Patterns of Effective Communication Validating Communication Volatile Communication Conflict-avoiding Communication

Communication In Love Relationships (cont.) Communication Warning Signs Criticism Contempt Defensiveness Stonewalling Improving Communication Understanding Intimate Communication: Six “Simple Truths” Enhancing Intimate Communication: Five “Rules” Encourage students to complete the Self-Discovery Guidelines for Sexual Communication activity on page 127.

Sexual Communication Sexual Self-disclosure Barriers Lack of Information Embarrassment Insecurity About Using the Right Words Sexual Taboos Fear of Judgment Fear of Rejection Strategies for Improving Sexual Communication

Losing Love: Ten Reasons Why Relationships Fail Lack of Self-knowledge Acceptance of Sexual Myths and Stereotypes Ineffective Communication Imbalances of Decision-making Power Low Self-esteem, Insecurity and Lack of Self-confidence Isolation Failing to Keep Promises, Lying, or Cheating Excessive Jealousy (Normal vs. Delusional) Control Issues Violence

Abusive and Violent Relationships Types of Relationship Abuse Physical Verbal Emotional In Touch with Your Sexual Health: Signs of Relationship Abuse Signs That You May Have an Abusive Partner Signs That You May Be an Abusive Partner Encourage students to complete the In Touch with Your Sexual Health: Signs of Relationship Abuse activity on page 134. Direct students to Table 4.2: Warning Signs of a Potential Abuser.

Abusive and Violent Relationships (cont.) Direct students to Table 4.2: Warning Signs of a Potential Abuser.

The Cycle of Violence and Abuse The Honeymoon Phase and/or the Beginning of the Relationship The Tension-building Phase Explosion Return to the Honeymoon Phase

Getting Out and Moving On Leaving a Violent Relationship The Temptation to Go Back Self-Discovery Your Criteria for a Healthy, Nonabusive Relationship What Qualities Do You Require? What Characteristics Are Unacceptable? Loving Again Encourage students to complete the Self-Discovery Your Criteria for a Healthy, Nonabusive Relationship activity on page 137.