1. Attraction, Affiliation and Love
Lecture 10
Attraction, Affiliation
and Love

2. Outline Attraction and Liking Love Attachment Equity Theory
Interpersonal Communication
Relationship Dissolution

3. Interpersonal Attraction
The attitudes we form about other people, expressed along a dimension ranging from like to dislike.

4. Factors Influencing Attraction
Proximity (propinquity)
Repeated Exposure
Similarity
Affective State
Physical Attractiveness
Reciprocal Positive Evaluations

6. Frequency of Exposure and Liking in the Classroom (from Moreland & Beach, 1992)
Attraction Rating
# of Times the RA came to Class

7. Likability of Target Person as a Function of their Pick-Up Line
Type of Pick-Up Line

8. Evaluation of candidate as a function of participants’ mood and knowledge of political issues (Ottati & Isbell, 1996)

16. What is Love? Companionate vs. Passionate Love
Love Styles (Lee, 1976; Hendrick & Hendrick, 1992)
Triangular Theory of Love (Sternberg, 1986, 1987)

17. Companionate vs. Passionate Love
Companionate Love
The affection we feel for those with whom our lives are deeply intertwined
Passionate Love
A state of intense longing for union with another. Passionate lovers are absorbed in one another, feel ecstatic at attaining their partner’s love, and are disconsolate on losing it.

19. Love Styles (Hendrick & Hendrick, 1992)
Eros
passionate
physical appearance
Ludus
game-playing
no commitment
Storge
friendship
slow-moving to commitment
Mania
possessive
obsessive
Agape
altruistic
gentle, caring, dutiful
Pragma
pragmatic
match on vital statistics

20. The Triangular Theory of Love (Sternberg, 1988)
Commitment
Passion
Intimacy

21. Emotions and Misattribution
The Two-Factor Theory of Emotion (Schachter & Singer, 1962)
Experience physiological arousal
Try to explain the arousal.
Misattribution of Arousal
The process whereby people mistakenly infer what causes them to feel the way they do

23. What is Love?
Prototypical close relationship between 2 adults (Hazan & Shaver, 1994)
Sexual system
Concomitant feelings of excitement and physical gratification
Care-giving
Desire to protect the other, to offer comfort and to receive comfort
Attachment
Emotional bond between two people that keeps them close both physically and emotionally

24. Attachment Parent-child relationships Secure Avoidant
Characterized by trust, a lack of concern with being abandoned and the view that one is worthy and well liked
Avoidant
Characterized by a suppression of attachment needs
Anxious/ambivalent
Characterized by a concern that others will not reciprocate one’s desire for intimacy, resulting in higher-than-average levels of anxiety

26. Attachment
2 Kinds of Avoidant Attachment (Bartholomew, 1990; Bartholomew & Horowitz, 1991)
Fearful Avoidant
Characterized by avoidance of close relationships because of mistrust and fears of being hurt
Dismissive Avoidant
Characterized by claims of self-sufficiency and no need for close relationships

27. Social Exchange and Equity Theories
Social exchange theory states that how people feel about their relationships will depend on their perception of the rewards they receive from the relationship and their perception of the costs they incur, as well as
their perception of what kind of relationship they deserve and the probability that they could have a better relationship with someone else.

28. Social Exchange Theories
In other words, the basic concepts of social exchange theory are reward, cost, outcome, comparison level, and comparison level for alternatives (Thibaut & Kelly, 1959).
The outcome of a relationship is based on rewards minus costs. If this is negative, the relationship is not in good shape.

29. Social Exchange Theories
How satisfied you are with your relationship depends on your comparison level.
Comparison level: people’s expectations about the level of rewards and punishments they deserve in a relationship.
If a given relationship doesn’t match the expected comparison level, people will be unhappy and unsatisfied.

30. Social Exchange Theories
How satisfied you are with your relationship also depends on your comparison level for alternatives.
Comparison level for alternatives: People’s expectations about the level of rewards and punishments they would receive in an alternative relationship.

31. Equity Theory
Equity theory holds that people are happiest with relationships in which the rewards and costs a person experiences and the contributions he/she makes to the relationship are roughly equal to the rewards, costs, and contributions of the other person.

32. Social Exchange in Long-Term Relationships
The investment model of relationships holds that people’s commitment to a relationship depends on their satisfaction with the relationship in terms of
i) the rewards, costs, and comparison level
ii) their comparison level for alternatives
iii) how much they have invested in the relationship that would be lost by leaving it

33. © 2001 Pearson Education Canada Inc.

34. © 2001 Pearson Education Canada Inc.

35. Relationship Dissolution
Ways of coping with a failing relationship (Rusbult et al., 1986, 1987)
Loyalty
Neglect
Voice

36. Relationship Dissolution, Cont.
Strategies to end a relationship (Baxter, 1982)
Withdrawal/avoidance
Positive tone
Manipulation
Open confrontation