Do Now: What are characteristics you want in a healthy relationship from friend or boyfriend/girlfriend?

Healthy vs Unhealthy Relationships Unit 5

Write down 3 interesting thoughts from video

Healthy Relationships-Think-Pair-Share Think about a positive peer relationship in your life. (NOT Romantic) What do you like about them? How are you alike? How are you different? What traits do you admire about them? How does this person treat you? What happens when you disagree? How do you feel when you’re with this person? Why do you feel this relationship works?

Qualities of a healthy Relationship Respect Trust Listen Take time to help each other Believe in each other Comfortable around each other Safe around each other Never scared or afraid of how they may react Talk about everything and anything Important in all relationships. We look for same qualities in friends and in BF/GF – help us grow and feel good about yourself

Unhealthy Relationships Neglect (yourself or partner) Feel pressure to change who you are Feel worried when you disagree Feel pressure to quit activities you enjoy Pressure to agree with them Justify your actions (where you go, who you see) Pressure to have sex Pressure to share everything, lack of privacy

Unhealthy Relationships Refusal to use safer sex methods Arguments not settled fairly Yelling or physical violence during an argument Attempt to control or manipulate each other Control how you dress or criticizes your behavior Do not make time to spend with one another No common friends or lack of respect for each others friends and family Lack of fairness and equality

Seek Help When you are unhappy in a relationship, but cannot decide if you should accept your unhappiness, try to improve the relationship, or end the relationship. When you have decided to leave a relationship, but find yourself still in the relationship. When you think you are staying in the relationship for the wrong reasons, such as fear of being alone or guilt. If you have a history of staying in unhealthy relationships.

Where to get help National Teen Helplines: Planned Parenthood 800-273-8255 800-784-2433 800-621-4000 Planned Parenthood 516-750-2500 Guidance Counselor Trusted Adulted

Boundaries: Help separates healthy relationship from unhealthy relationships Walk Towards Me In pairs (decide who is “A” & “B”) ”A” lines up against one wall “B” go to opposite side of room When I say go “A”s will walk towards ”B”s “B”s will put your hand up and say “stop” when your partner has gotten close enough and you would feel uncomfortable if they moved closer. *Notice the distance* How did you decide it was time to stay stop? Were you surprised at how different people’s boundaries are?

Homework-Journal -Please review the following list and circle 5 ways you want to be treated in a relationship. I want my partner to …   Respect me Nurture me Trust me Support me Protect me Encourage me Take care of me Treat me as an equal Treat me like a king or queen Love me Treat me honestly Need me Impress me Commit to me Be trustworthy Make me laugh Treat me fairly Provide for me Share interests with me Be a good listener Give me space when I need it Looking at the 5 you chose, please list your number one most important way you would like to be treated by a dating partner and write a brief explanation of why that behavior is so important. Quality: Explanation:

Types of Communication Verbal Speaking Listening “It is not sufficient to know what one ought to say, but one must know how to say it.” -Aristotle Nonverbal Paralanguage Signs or Symbols Body Language

Speaking Skills Clear Specific Quick or Slow Must ask for what you want Specific Do you want a listening ear or suggestions? Quick or Slow Underlying emotions (anger, fear, happiness, nervousness, sadness) It is not what you say but how you say it. Ex: My teacher asked me to stay after school today.

Listening Skills Active Listening Receive the message is just as important as being able to relay the message Paraphrasing Feeling Feedback

Are You a Good Listener? Face the speaker-Eye contact Verbal and nonverbal signs you are listening Pay close attention to what speaker is saying (notice body language) Ask questions to clarify Give appropriate feedback Compliment the speaker Try and understand how the speaker is feeling Don’t allow personal biases to affect what you are hearing Offer suggestions rather than advice. Empathy 101

Poor Listening Skills Looking around the room rather than speaker Interrupting the speaker before they are finished Making totally unrelated remarks Changing the subject Continuing to do what you are doing rather than listening attentively Trying to top the speaker’s story with what you think is a better one

Assertive Communication Skills Say what they think and stand up for what they believe in Don’t hurt or put down others State your position Use I-statements Offer a reason Acknowledge Other’s Feelings

Refusal Skills Clear “NO” messages Fogging Statements Must say “NO” Body language supports message- serious expression, cross-arms Tone of voice Repeat Refusal Keep it simple- Don’t need to explain Ex: “I love you too, but no, I don’t want to have sex.” Fogging Statements Delaying statement Alternative Actions

Refusal Skills Fogging Statements Alternative Actions Use humor or tacit to maintain control over situation “You won’t have sex with me because you only think of yourself,” – ”Yes, I may seem selfish, but I am not doing it to be mean to you.” Alternative Actions Offer something else to do. Delaying Statements Pretend not to hear what was said Change the subject “I’ll need to think about that”

Repeat