Proactive Responses to Lying For Foster/Adoptive Parents

Expectations?

Training Outcomes: Clarify values regarding lying; Identify reasons children who lie; Respond appropriately to children who lie; Make plans to prevent lying.

To Tell the Truth… Warm-Up

Lying Making an untrue statement with intent to deceive Creating a false or misleading impression

Reasons Adults Become Upset:

Typical Reactions to Lying:

The Best Lie Ever Told… By a politician; In an advertisement; To a police officer for speeding; By a child in care; By someone in this group.

Reasons People Lie:

Cycle of Need Expression Response Relaxation Need

Cycle of Mistrust Expression Response Distress Need

Tricks, Lies and Parenting “Your room is a mess. Turn off the TV now and go clean it up!”

Liar! Did you clean your room? Yep! Don’t tell me you cleaned your room. I just walked by and its still a pig pen! Why lie to me? I hate that!

Where have you been? At Jimmy’s. NO, YOU WERE NOT! I spoke with his mom and she hasn’t seen you all day. You’re grounded! Don’t you EVER lie to me again!!

I need to talk with you. Huh? About what? Well, you said you were going to Jimmy’s and I know you didn’t. Its important to me to be able to trust you. What’s going on?

Goals of Discipline Complete the Cycle of Need Learn healthy ways to meet needs Feel good about relationships with others Build self-esteem Services.

I will use information from this training to: __________________________

Acknowledgement Disclaimer This document is provided under a contractual agreement between the   New York State Office of Children and Family Services Division of Administration Bureau of Training and Development AND State University of New York College at Buffalo Acknowledgement This material was developed by the SUNY Buffalo State, Institute for Community Health Promotion (ICHP), Center for Development of Human Services (CDHS) under a training and administrative services agreement with the New York State Office of Children and Family Services. Disclaimer While every effort has been made to provide accurate and complete information, the Office of Children and Family Services and the State of New York assume no responsibility for any errors or omissions in the information provided herein and make no representations or warranties about the suitability of the information contained here for any purpose. All information and documents are provided “as is,” without a warranty of any kind. Copyright © 2015 by the New York State Office of Children and Family Services

Area code and phone number Unregistered and want training credit? Before class ends, enter the following into (private) text chat to the instructor or to the in-class tech support: Full legal name Male or female Home address (NO P.O. boxes) Area code and phone number Email address (2 on same computer must list 2 email addresses) Foster care agency address (e.g., Harlem Dowling, Westside Center, 2090 7th Ave, NY, NY 10027) Thank you.