Chapter 5 Revising Your Writing There are videos embedded in the PowerPoint slides that are available on the Instructor’s Resource CD (ISBN 9781133188551).

Revising Your Writing Words Sentences Paragraphs Tone

Defining Style How an idea is expressed (not its substance Style consists of words the writer uses How words are combined into sentences and paragraphs

Defining Mechanics Mechanics are elements in communication that show up only in writing, for example, spelling, punctuation, abbreviations, capitalization, number expression and word division.

Principles of Style Words Sentences Paragraphs Tone Write clearly. Write concisely. Sentences Use a variety of sentence types. Use active and passive voice appropriately. Use parallel structure. Paragraphs Keep paragraphs unified and coherent. Control paragraph length. Tone Write confidently. Use a courteous and sincere tone. Use emphasis and subordination. Use positive language and the “you” attitude.

Write Clearly Be accurate and complete Use familiar words Use specific, concrete language Avoid dangling expressions Avoid clichés, slang, unnecessary jargon

Use Language your Reader can understand Prefer Short and Simple Words Use Language your Reader can understand Long Short Ascertain Learn Modification Change Endeavor Try Substantial Large termination End initiate Start utilization Use

Defining Dangling Expressions ▪ Any part of a sentence that does not logically fit in with the rest of the sentence. ▪ Its relationship with the other parts of the sentence is unclear – it dangles.

Fun with Dangling Expressions Abraham Lincoln wrote the Gettysburg Address while traveling to Gettysburg on the back of an envelope. I had been driving for about 40 years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident. Two cars were reported stolen by the Groveton police yesterday. Dr. Lopez gave a presentation on the use of drugs in our auditorium.

Avoid Dangling Expressions Make the subject of the sentence the doer of the action expressed in the introductory clause. Move the expression closer to the word that it modifies. Make sure that the specific word to which a pronoun refers is clear. Otherwise revise the sentence for coherence.

Defining Cliché A Cliché is an expression that has become monotonous through overuse.

Use Language your Reader can understand Cliché Expressions Examples Use Language your Reader can understand According to our records For your information Company policy requires Do not hesitate Please be advised that Thank you for your attention to this matter If you have any other questions Our records indicate that

Defining Slang Slang a type of language consisting of words and phrases that are regarded as very informal and are restricted to a group of people.

Use Language your Reader can understand Slang Expressions Examples Use Language your Reader can understand Can of worms Pay through the note Chew out Play up to Gut feeling Security blanket Go for broke Wiped out Keep your cool

Arrange These Terms from Most to Least Specific western seaport seaport place San Diego Pier 45 sport jump ball activity basket-ball team sport ignition failure situation problem engine trouble car problem country neigh-borhood street state city

Write Concisely Avoid redundancy and wordy expressions Avoid hidden verbs and subjects

Defining Redundancy A Redundancy is the unnecessary repetition of an idea that has already been expressed or intimated.

Redundancy Example NOT Signing both copies of the lease is a necessary requirement. BUT Signing both copies of the lease is necessary.

Use Language your Reader can understand Avoid these Common Redundancies Use Language your Reader can understand Avoid Use New innovation Innovation Combine together Combine Divide up Divide Plan ahead Plan 11.00am in the morning 11.00am Repeat again Repeat Free gift Gift

Use Language your Reader can understand Avoid Wordy Expressions Use Language your Reader can understand Avoid Use Are of the opinion that Believe In the event of If Due to the fact that Because Pertaining to About For the purpose of For or to With regard to In order to To

Writing Effective Sentences Use a variety of sentence types. Use active and passive voice appropriately. Use parallel structure.

Use a Variety of Sentences Simple Sentence A simple sentence contains one independent clause and presents a single idea and is short Example: I quit. Compound Sentences A compound sentence contains two or more independent clauses. Stacey listened and I nodded. Complex Sentences A complex sentence contains one independent clause and at least one dependent clause. I will move to Austin when I start my new job.

Developing Logical Paragraphs Types of Ethics Unity ▪ A unified paragraph gives information that is directly related to the topic ▪ Presents the information in a logical order and omits irrelevant details Coherence A coherent paragraph weaves sentences together so that the discussion is integrated. Length Excessive long paragraphs look boring and difficult

Creating an Appropriate Tone Write confidently Use a courteous and sincere tone Use appropriate emphasis and subordination Use positive language Stress the “you” attitude