Chapter 9: Adjusting to Marriage Family Living Mrs. Karen Swope Columbian High School

Introduction Basic patterns of adjustment used in marriage. The interpersonal adjustments couples make as they learn to live with each other. How couples adapt to financial and social changes during married life.

Discussion: What might be some characteristics of a low-quality relationship? of a high quality relationship? What would be the benefits of learning to adjust to each other in the early years of marriage?

Patterns of Adjustment Marital adjustment -______________________________________________________________________________; what tactics they use to cope with conflict within the marriage.

Patterns of Adjustment cont. 1.Hostility: the couple may use hostile methods that could be ____________________________ to their partner to deal with conflict. Conflicts don’t __________________. How does this affect the marriage?______________________________________________________

Patterns of Adjustment cont. 2. Concession - ______________________________rather than working out a solution. If both spouses give in some of the time, the quality of the_____________________________. If one spouse is the one to always give in, the quality of the relationship ____________________________.

Patterns of Adjustment cont. 3. Accommodation: ___________________________ to live with them. No mutual agreement is reached. They agree to __________________. How does this affect the quality of the relationship?____________________________________________________

Patterns of Adjustment cont. 4. Compromise: couples find _______________________________. Must be willing to _______________. Brings the ________ level of quality to a relationship. No one _______________.

Couples most likely will use all the above. No one method can be used all the time. Conflicts will _______________. Clear _________________ is needed. Consider the________________ of each method of adjustment.

Discussion Why is it important to think of “we” instead of “me”? How does society teach us to think this way?

Interpersonal Adjustments Each spouse has his/her own likes / dislikes. Each partner had their own opinion. The changes the couple make to learn to live with each other is called interpersonal adjustments.

Accepting Habits When dating it may be easy to overlook irritating habits. Accept minor irritations and focus on the positive.

Show Appreciation What are ways couples can show appreciation for each other? Give both verbal and nonverbal messages of appreciation.

Stay Actively Involved with Each Other What are some activities for spouses that would better reveal what each is thinking or feeling? Active interaction: physical and verbal exchanges between two people. Passive interaction: only involved as a listener or observer, such as…

Meet Emotional Needs Greater satisfaction in a marriage when _______________________________. The need for love, respect, and self-actualization (reaching ones full potential; growing and reaching personal accomplishments) are some emotional needs.

Marital Roles The roles husband/wife are expected to fulfill include: spouse, friend, wage earner, cook, caregiver, housekeeper, money manager, and daughter in-law, son in-law. If the couple has children: mother, father are additional roles to fulfill.

Financial & Social Adjustments Views on money management can be sources of conflict. This area needs to be discussed prior to marriage. After marriage, both partners need to be financially responsible. A couples marriage joins two families. The couple needs to find balance between couple time, friend and family time.

Sources for Help Marriage enrichment program: an organized program designed to strengthen and improve a marriage. Marriage counseling: designed to identify and resolve existing problems in a marriage.