Building Responsible Relationships: Pairing, Commitment, & Marriage

Infatuation vs Mature Love fantasy vs reality Intimacy = ability to have a close relationship (Emotional Intimacy is when you connect emotionally with another person) ** sexual intercourse and intimacy are not the same things**

Levels of Closeness 1.Initial Attraction – Something about the other person catches your attention (attraction to each other occurs). 2.Casual Friendship – You and a person who interest you enjoy activities together (ex. Movies, games, and the park). 3.Close Friendship (dating) – As you spend more time together, you learn about each other’s feelings and values. 4.Deep Friendship (steady) – The friends reveal their faults. They let down their masks of best behavior, and reality sets in. By this time each trusts the other’s acceptance because the true self of each, complete with faults, have been seen by the other. 5.Lifelong (Mature) Love (marriage) – In this stage, all the initial hurdles are past. Each partner continues to develop socially, intellectually, emotionally, and spiritually. The degree of closeness of mature love makes conflict likely, but the partners learn to resolve conflict in healthy ways.

Dating Pros –Explore characteristics –Develop friendships –Emotional support –Learn to: Resolve disagreements communicate Cons –Added stress –Jealousy –Rejection –Break ups –Sexual activity

How to handle a breakup Time to grieve denial anger bargaining depression acceptance * It is natural to feel loneliness & pain *

Pressures to Be Sexually Active Internal Pressures –An impulse a person feels to engage in a behavior –Instinctive (reproduction & survival of humanity) Remember: We have self-control External Pressures –Pressure a person feels from another person or from a group to engage in a behavior –Boyfriends, girlfriends, peers, media

Risk Factors for Sexual Activity Alcohol and drugs Dating older people Sexually active friends Previous sexual activity

Coping With Pressures Set personal limits Avoid pressure situations –Identify situations –Avoid alcohol & mind-altering drugs –Choose friends & partners wisely Refuse verbally & nonverbally Stand firm

STOP Stop Think Other Activities Plan

Abstinence Conscious decision not to participate in a behavior & the skills to support that decisions Sexual abstinence = refraining from sexual activity Three R’s for Remaining Abstinent: –Respect for self –Respect for others –Responsibility for your own actions

Benefits of Abstinence Emotional & Social –Less complicated relationships –Better reputation –Free from added worry & stress –Increased sense of self-control & self-respect –Increased trust from parents & other adults Health –No STDS (HIV/AIDS) –No pregnancy

Teen Pregnancy Major Myth: It Can’t Happen to Me or My Girlfriend –1 in 5 sexually active female teens get pregnant each year –800, ,000 female teens get pregnant each year –4 in 10 of all girls become pregnant at least once before age 20

Teen Pregnancy Babies more likely to have health problems –Teens delay getting medical care –Premature –Low birth weight Teen fathers earn less money per year than male teens who delay fatherhood until age 21 Only 20% of single teen mothers marry the father of their child Only 30% of pregnant teens finish high school

Rape & Date Rape

Rape/Date Rape 1 in 4 women Mainly date or acquaintance rape 10% are males US has highest rape frequency more than half of females on college campuses had been drinking when raped

Effects of Rape STDs AIDs Pregnancy Rage Terror Emotional Pain

Statutory Rape No violence Consensual based on idea not mature enough to make decision State of Texas is under age of years in prison & fine up to $10,000 under 14: 5-99 & fine up to $50,000