Session 2  Parenting Styles

Parents and participants will: Assess and name their own parenting style Determine the parenting style of other adults who help raise their child (the other parent, a grandparent, etc.) Understand the immediate and long-term effects of various parenting styles Discuss parenting style differences in a family Parenting Styles Objectives

Parenting Styles – Icebreaker

Parenting Plans – Icebreaker Blueprint Characteristics I want my child to have at age 18. Characteristics my child has already. What do I plan to do to give my child the skills he/she needs to develop the planned characteristics? Stop writing for now.

Four Parenting Styles DominatingPermissiveUnengagedPositive

Dominating Parenting Style Power-oriented discipline Threatens, intimidates, commands Uses “I’m bigger/stronger than you” tactics Rigid and controlling Demands respect through fear Believes the parent is always right Offers very little affection, warmth, encouragement or praise Enforces a clear set of expectations Monitors children’s activities carefully

Possibilities for Children of Dominating Parenting Style Rebellious or submissive Distrustful Power-oriented with peers (bully?) Manipulative, sneaky Power struggles with parent Difficulty making decisions Only follows rules when parent is present

Permissive Parenting Style Tries to be child’s friend Substitutes “things” for time or commitment Too busy or distracted Offers few guidelines Inconsistent Feels sorry for the child Gives in too easily Does too much for the child Rescues May be reacting to their own rigid upbringing

Possibilities for Children of Permissive Parenting Style Insecure Searching for boundaries Little respect for authority Poor self-control Self-indulging Doesn’t follow rules Irresponsible Doesn’t understand cause and effect; hasn’t learned that his/her actions have consequences

Unengaged Parenting Style Inconsistent Little nurturing No expectations Selfish Children tend to raise themselves May be physically present but not emotionally or mentally engaged Low respect toward children or others

Possibilities for Children of Unengaged Parenting Style Low self-esteem High anxiety Few social skills Little respect for others No responsibility OR May be too responsible for their age if expected to raise themselves and siblings

Positive Parenting Style Firm but loving Sets clear boundaries Follows through with appropriate consequences Reasonable expectations Allow for learning mistakes Healthy modeling of expected behaviors Confident, flexible, respectful Follows through with appropriate consequences Teamwork, give and take, share the power

Possibilities for Children of Positive Parenting Style Confident Secure Respects self and others Responsible Self-disciplined Inner motivation Closer family relationships

Nurturing Respect Discipline Parenting Plans – Icebreaker Blueprint  Finish your icebreaker sheet with positive parenting tips  What I plan to do to give my child the skills he/she needs to develop healthy characteristics

When Parenting Styles Disagree Out of BalanceBalance Parent 1Parent 2 Parent 1Parent 2 “Out of balance” happens when parents become more strict or lenient in response to the other parent’s style. Balance happens when parents agree on the issues and consequences, consider the outcomes and support one another.

Thank you for participating! Do you have anything you would like to share from last week’s session? Please remember your handouts! Shifting Gears