Managing Conflict: Strategies for a Better Workplace Karen Gulliford, M.Ed

Today’s Objective Realize the Impact of Workplace Conflict Determine Your Natural Conflict Style Define Constructive and Destructive Conflict Behaviors Identify Hot Buttons Develop Conflict Negotiation Strategies Plan for Future Conflict

What are Causes and Impact of Conflict? Exercise #1 In teams, discuss and write down all the causes of conflict in the workplace and/or with vendors, suppliers, and customers In the next column, write down the impact of the conflict Be prepared to report your answers

What is Conflict? “Any situation in which people have apparently incompatible goals, interests, principles or feelings” Task or Person related Source: Center for Conflict Dynamics

Negatives of Conflict 1.Decreases productivity 2.Leads to relevant information not being shared 3.Causes unpleasant emotional experience 4.Leads to environmental stress 5.Takes excessive time 6.Disrupts decision-making process 7.Destroys morale 8.Leads to misallocation of resources 9.Creates suspicion and distrust

Positives of Conflict 1.Increases motivation and creativity 2.Promotes healthy interactions and involvement 3.Improves problem-solving 4.Provides more spontaneity in communication 5.Increases understanding of others 6.Forces clarification of ideas more effectively 7.Allows feelings to be aired out 8.Strengthens a relationship when it is creatively resolved 9.Can increase productivity!

Right Amount of Conflict Too Much Conflict Appropriate Level of Conflict Too Little Conflict High Stress Mistrust Suspicion Inappropriate Conflict Physical Confrontation Confusion Aggressive Behavior Healthy Amount of Collaboration Problem Solving Negotiation Involvement Accountability Personal Growth Assertive Behavior Go with Leader No Creativity No Problem Solving Group Think No Discussion Passive-Aggressive Behavior Silence Mediocrity

A Story of “Too Little Conflict” 8

Conflict and Outcomes The Process How What When Why Where Focus on learning, collaboration, and resolution The Person Personality Clash Us vs. Them Competing Winning Personal Interests Focus on personal performance, being right 9

Thomas Kilmann – Conflict Style 10

What is your Thomas Kilmann style? Exercise #2 Highlight your most dominant conflict style Highlight your least dominant style Write one action that might help you be more flexible with your conflict style 11

Retaliatory Cycle Source: Daniel Dana, Mediation Training Institute, 2005 Hot Button

Center for Conflict Dynamics - Behaviors We need to become self-aware of our actual conflict behaviors We all have HOT BUTTONS that are triggered We use destructive and constructive behaviors We can develop better conflict management skills with confidence and practice

Destructive Behaviors Winning Displaying Anger Demeaning Others Retaliating Avoiding Yielding Hiding Emotions Self- Criticizing

Constructive Behaviors Perspective Taking Creating Solutions Expressing Emotions Reaching Out Reflective Thinking Delay Responding Adapting

Hot Buttons Unreliable Overly-Analytical Unappreciative Aloof Micro-Managing Self-Centered Abrasive Untrustworthy Hostile You must practice “cooling” your hot buttons

Do you know your Hot Buttons? Exercise #3 Look at the list of hot buttons and the definitions Rank your top 2 Hot Buttons (the first being the “hottest” – the primary, and then a secondary) Wait for instructions…

Personal Strategies Cool down (delay responding) Slow down and reflect (listen and take perspective) Stop destructive responses (stop anger, trying to win, avoiding…) Engage constructive behaviors (express emotions, reach out, find solutions…) Use questioning and active listening Get to know others

Try Active Listening Exercise #4 Review the 5 statements on the Active Listening Worksheet Determine the best response for active listening

Teams in Conflict… Listen first Prevention: make agreements upfront, agree on outcomes, allow others to talk and have a part Build good relationships with others – including finding common interests and common ground Take time outs Ask good questions

Inventing Options and Solutions Separate people from problem Common interests, not positions Brainstorming and inventing Understand your emotions and legitimize the emotions of others Everyone participates in the problem Assume positive Take a walk in their shoes Clarify the problem before looking for answers Refrain from quick judgments and decisions Listen activelyLook forward, not backwards Use objective criteria Ask questions, seek to understand Be hard on the problem, soft on the people Invent agreements Concepts from “Getting to Yes” Fisher and Ury

Your Real – Life Case Studies Exercise #5 Now that we know more about sources of conflict, conflict responses, and creating options, let’s practice being Conflict Competent Think of a current, active conflict you are involved in with your “conflict partner” Individually, review the situation and come up with at least 2 approaches Use your Constructive Strategies and Fisher/Ury Be prepared for large group discussion

Conflict Competency Tips Continue to be self-aware and reflective in any conflict situation Resolution starts with you Obtain more training in leadership and communication Practice using opposite strategies of your natural tendency Build confidence in confronting conflicts constructively Teach and coach others to use constructive strategies

Building a Strategy Road Map Exercise #6 Create a personal road map for managing conflict Being aware of your style and conflict tendencies will help you create new reactions and behaviors in the future, and help your team become more conflict competent! Review your responses with a new partner

Conflict Questions