Forging Relationships: Intimacy, Liking, and Loving During Early Adulthood The Course of RelationshipsWork: Choosing and Embarking on a Career

Forging Relationships: Intimacy, Liking, and Loving During Early Adulthood

Developmental Tasks of Early Adulthood Look at Table 7-4 to review these tasks

The Developmental Tasks of Adulthood

Seeking Intimacy: Erikson’s View of Young Adulthood Intimacy-versus-isolation stage –Intimacy: Close, intimate relationship with others Selflessness Sexuality –Isolation Feelings of loneliness Fear of relationships

Emerging Adulthood: A New Stage of Life? Theorized by some as new life stage Marked by continuing identity exploration that started in adolescence Encompasses the period between 18 and the late 20s May be a response to shifting cultural expectations and opportunities Do you think that emerging adulthood is a real stage of life or just a transitory consequence of particular social and economic times? Why do you think so?

Friendship Important part of adult life  need for belonging Filters Personal qualities

Rephrasing the Question Although a relatively high percentage of whites and blacks claim to have a member of a different race, only a small majority actually name a person of another race or ethnicity when asked to list the names of their close friends. Source: General Social Survey, 1998.

Falling in Love: When Liking Turns to Loving How does love develop?

Falling in Love STIMULUS-VALUE-ROLE (SVR) THEORY (Murstein)

Passionate and Companionate Love: Two Faces of Love Passionate (romantic) love Companionate love

Labeling Theory of Passionate Love If it hurts, is it really love? How do you know?

Sternberg’s Triangular Theory: Three Faces of Love Sternberg –Intimacy –Passion –Decision/Commitment

The Combinations of Love

Seeking a Spouse: Is Love All That Matters? U.S. Love as a major factor In other cultures Love may be secondary Emotional maturity, health, similar education, chastity

Choosing a Mate Gender differences Species requirement

Does this evolutionary explanation make sense to you?

Filtering Potential Marriage Partners According to this approach, we screen potential mates through successively finer-grained filters in order to settle on an appropriate spouse. Source: Based on Janda & Klenke-Hamel, 1980.

Do you think you will use the principle of homogamy to select a mate?

The Course of Relationships

Attachment Styles and Romantic Relationships Infant attachment style is reflected in adult romantic relationships (Shaver) Secure Avoidant Anxious-ambivalent Attachment style is also related to the care that adults give their romantic partners

Research findings suggest that gay relationships are quite similar to relationships between heterosexuals Most gays and lesbians seek loving, long-term, and meaningful relationships that differ little qualitatively from those desired by heterosexuals Gay and Lesbian Relationships: Men With Men and Women With Women

Should marriage be a legal option for lesbians and gays?

According to Erikson, young adults are in the intimacy-versus-isolation stage. Many factors go into choosing a spouse, including love and mutual attraction, which in some cultures are rated behind good health and maturity. Types of love include passionate and companionate love. Sternberg’s triangular theory identifies three basic components (intimacy, passion, and decision/commitment).

In general, the values applied to relationships by heterosexual, gay, and lesbian couples are more similar than different.

According to Erikson, adults spend their early adult years ________. a. consolidating careers b. developing their identities c. being industrious d. focusing on developing relationships with others

______________ love is the strong affection we have for those individuals with whom our lives are deeply involved. a. Passionate b. Puppy c. Intimate d. Companionate

According to Sternberg, to determine the type of love that best describes a relationship, one must look at the presence or absence of intimacy, passion, and commitment. True False

Consider a long-term marriage with which you are familiar. Do you think the relationship involves passionate love or companionate love (or both)? What changes when a relationship moves from passionate to companionate love? From companionate to passionate love? In which direction is it more difficult for a relationship to move? Why?

The Course of Relationships

Are you a POSSLQ?

Cohabitation The number of couples living together prior to marriage increased by 41 percent from the year 2000 to Source: U.S. Bureau of the Census, 2010.

Why Do People Choose Cohabitation Rather Than Marriage? Not ready for lifelong commitment “Practice” for marriage Reject institution of marriage

Why Marry? Preferred alternative during early adulthood Desirability of spouse roles Legitimatization of children Legal benefits and protections

Why do people wait? The age at which women and men first marry is the highest since national statistics were first collected in the late 1800s. What factors account for this? Source: U.S. Bureau of the Census, 2011.

What Makes a Marriage Work? Successful married partners –Show affection –Communicate relatively little negativity –Perceive themselves as interdependent –Experience social homogamy, similarity in leisure activity, and role preferences –Hold similar interests –Agree on distribution of roles

Early Marital Conflict Conflict in marriage is not unusual Nearly half of newly married couples experience a significant degree of conflict Difficulty making transition from adolescence to adulthood Trouble developing a separate identity Challenge of allocating time

But the News Is Not All Bad! Most married couples –View early years of marriage as deeply satisfying – Find themselves more deeply in love than before marriage –Report newlywed period as one of the happiest in entire married life

Parenthood: Choosing to Have Children StatisticsCostsReasons

What Produced the Decline in the U.S, Fertility Rate? Availability of more reliable birth control methods Increasing numbers of women working outside the home Choosing to have children later Cost of raising and educating children Fear of not being good or accessible parent

Division of Labor Although husbands and wives generally work at their paying jobs a similar number of hours each week, wives are apt to spend more time than their husbands doing home chores and in child-care activities. Why do you think this pattern exists? Source: Bureau of Labor Statistics, 2012.

Two’s a Couple, Three’s a Crowd? Dramatic shift in spouse's roles Challenges to marital satisfaction Successful coping

Gay and Lesbian Parents About 20% of gay men and lesbian women are parents –No difference in psychological adjustment from that of children raised in heterosexual homes –Specialization of roles develops

Singlehood StatisticsRationaleSocietal view

Success in marriage includes two partners who visibly show affection and communicate relatively little negativity, perceive themselves as an independent couple instead of two independent individuals, share similar interests, and agree on role distribution.

The most common reasons for having children are psychological. Parents derive pleasure from helping their children grow, fulfillment from their accomplishments, and enjoyment from forming a close bond with them.

During the past three decades, there has been a decline in both the number of married couples and the number of individuals living together without being married. True False

Divorce is more likely to occur when couples marry without first cohabiting. True False

When asked why they want to have children, most young adults cite __________reasons. a. personal b. physical c. psychological d. societal

In what ways do you think cognitive changes in early adulthood (e.g., the emergence of postformal thought and practical intelligence) affect how young adults deal with questions of marriage, divorce, and childrearing?

Work: Choosing and Embarking on a Career

Identity During Young Adulthood: Role of Work Vaillant: Career consolidation General pattern of psychological development as young adults center on careers Career concerns supplant focus on intimacy Criticisms Highly restricted sample limits Generalizability Dated findings questions in view of shifts in attitudes toward importance of work

Picking an Occupation Ginzberg’s career choice theory Fantasy period Tentative period Realistic period Criticism Non-representative sample Overstates choices and options to lower SES people Age demarcations may be too rigid

Picking an Occupation Holland’s Personality Type Theory Realistic Intellectual Social Conventional Enterprising Artistic Criticism Lack of fit for many Exceptions to typology

Gender and Career Choices: Women’s Work Traditionally –Communal professions = women –Agentic professions = men –Women less likely found in male-dominated professions Always culturally determined, women’s social clocks have changed over the years

The Gender-Wage Gap In spite of men’s wages remaining stable, women continue to earn an average of 80 cents for every dollar men earn. Minority women face an even greater discrepancy in wages. Source: U.S. Bureau of the Census, 2011.

Why Do People Work? Motivation –Extrinsic –Intrinsic Personal identity Status

Satisfaction on the Job Satisfaction related to job status Worker satisfaction also correlates Nature of job Amount of input one has into one’s duties Influence employees have over others

Choosing a Career Systematically evaluate a variety of choices. Knowing yourself. Creating a “balance sheet.” “Trying out” different careers through paid or unpaid internships. Remembering that if you make a mistake, you can change careers. Considering it is reasonable to expect that careers may change throughout life.

Choosing a career is an important step in early adulthood. According to Vaillant, young adults reach the stage of career consolidation where they focus on their careers. Ginzberg offers a three-stage period of career development. Holland describes how personality affects career decisions.

Gender stereotypes are changing, but women still experience subtle prejudice in career choices, roles, and wages. People work because of both extrinsic and intrinsic motivation factors. The nature of a job, the degree of status it confers, and the variety it offers all contribute to job satisfaction. It’s also important to workers to feel their ideas and opinions are valued.

According to Vaillant, during young adulthood, individuals become centered on their careers. This stage is known as ______________. a. career consolidation b. life comprehension c. personal attainment d. realism

Which of the following is NOT one of the six personality types Holland indicates is important when it comes to career choice? a. social b. realistic c. intellectual d. enterprising

Even though there are more job opportunities for women in many fields than there used to be, women are often not afforded the same opportunities as men for advancement within those fields. Specifically, many women are not promoted because they have hit what is known as the ______________, or an invisible barrier to advancement. a. concrete wall b. final resting place c. glass ceiling d. transparent dome

If Vaillant’s study were performed today on women, in what ways do you think the results would be similar to or different from those of the original study?