 Parent Workshop: TCK’s and the College Transition

Survey  Population: TCK’s and their parents  10 questions  Multiple choice, short answer, etc.  Conducted online on Survey Monkey

Goals/Objectives Parents will have a better understanding of the difficulties of the college transition for TCK’s and resources and tools to help them  Parents will be able to define TCK  Parents will be able to identify the stages of transition in their TCK  Parents will be able to identify ways to support their TCK in building his or her RAFT  Parents will be able to communicate with their TCK more effectively

Timeline  Third culture kid definition game (5 min)  TCK video/Defining strengths and weaknesses (15 min)  Mini-lesson on stages of transition (15 min)  Activity on identifying the stages of transition in example TCK (25 min)  Mini-lesson on TCK’s building a RAFT (15 min)  Small groups on ways parents can support their TCK’s RAFT building (30 min)  Mini-lesson on effective communication (15 min)  Partner role-play of effective communication (15 min)  Debriefing/resources (15 min)

Budget  Consultant fee $200 (includes transportation)  Copy of The Global Nomad’s Guide to University Transition for each participant ($15 each)  Pens, Pencils, Poster board, and notecards ($50)  TRANSITIONING SUCCESSFULLY FOR UNIVERSITY: Two-Day Training of Trainers Program ($1, 250)  A complete trainer's guide  A copy of The Global Nomad's Guide to University Transition  Complete power point presentation with copyright license  Student worksheets  The Road Home educational DVD  Training games  National Board for Certified Counselors continuing education credits

Third Culture Kid  Definition  “A Third Culture Kid (TCK) is a person who has spent a significant part of his or her developmental years outside the parents’ passport culture. The TCK builds relationships to all of the cultures, while not having full ownership in any. Although elements from each culture are assimilated into the TCK’s life experience, the sense of belonging is in relationship to others of similar background” (Pollock & Van Reken).  Double Transition  Life stage change  Cultural change (cultural confusion)

Strengths/Weaknesses  Cross-cultural skills  Observational skills  Adaptability  Social skills  Loss of Identity  Unresolved Grief (hidden losses)  Conflicted Emotions

Loss of Identity  Help your child to foster a global identity:  Give him or her a language for their experiences (i.e. TCK, global nomad, etc.)  Role-play with your child how he or she will answer the question “Where are you from?”  Give him or her resources (TCKkid.com etc.)TCKkid.com

Unresolved Grief  Recognizing and naming loss (draw, journal, write poetry)  Mourning the loss  Accepting the loss Acknowledge your child’s fears and sadness because unresolved grief can emerge later in life in destructive ways

Warning Signs that your TCK may be Depressed  He or she talks about the past often  He or she finds no joy in the present and/or hobbies  He or she is experiencing deep sadness that does not go away even with distractions

Stages of Transition  Involvement Stage (sense of belonging)  Leaving Stage (loosening of emotional ties)  Transition Stage (chaotic/ambiguous)  Entering Stage (looking for connections)  Re-involvement Stage (sense of belonging)

Assistant RAFT Builder  Reconciliation  Affirmation  Farewell  Think Destination

Reconciliation  Help your child face hurts and disappointments  Is there anyone you need to apologize to?  Is there anyone who has hurt you?  Help them map out how they will resolve the issue  Face to face  Phone call  Letter Warning: Unresolved past hurts may effect future relationships

Affirmation  Help your child develop a list of important people in their lives (teachers, friends, mentors, etc.) and ways they can express their appreciation.  Gifts  Letters

Farewell  Help your child say goodbye effectively  Parties  Letters  Go to favorite places one last time Warning: Your child will lack a sense of closure if effective goodbyes do not take place

Thinking Ahead  Help your child prepare for the future (avoid unnecessary stress)  Pack early (make a list of what will need to be purchased in country)  Work out logistics (healthcare, finances, etc.)  Sign up for Early and/or International orientation  Communication (Skype, cell phone, etc.)  Help your child set goals/expectations  Academic (GPA, attendance)  Financial (budget)  Communication (how often, what times of day)  Behavioral

Communication  State that beginning college can be a big adjustment  Ask what they feel you are still doing for them that they can do themselves  Discuss recreating a support team on campus  Ask if they have any worries or concerns about transitioning to college.  Stay connected (have a consistent, non-intrusive presence)  Convey confidence and caring  Ask first if it would be okay to give advice  Listen carefully and try to validate feelings, even when you don't agree

Resources Websites       ns.com ns.com  Books  The Global Nomad’s Guide to University Transition  Third Culture Kids Growing Up Among Worlds  Succeeding as an International Student in the United States and Canada  Letting Go- A Parent’s Guide to Understanding the College Years  What to Expect When Your Child Leaves for College: A Complete Guide for Parents Only