1. Marriage Relationships
Chapter 8
Marriage Relationships

2. Chapter Outline Motivations for and Functions of Marriage
Marriage as a Commitment
Marriage as a Rite of Passage
Changes after Marriage
Diversity in Marriage
Success in Marriage

3. True or False?
Economic security is the greatest expected benefit of marriage in the United States.

4. Answer: False
Although marriage does not ensure it, companionship is the greatest expected benefit of marriage in the United States.

5. True or False?
About a third of states now offer covenant marriages and a third of people getting married in these states elect the covenant alternative.

6. Answer: False
Louisiana, Arizona and Arkansas offer covenant marriages. Fewer than 3% of couples that marry in Louisiana have chosen to take on the extra restrictions of marriage by covenant.

7. Individual Motivations for Marriage
Love
Personal Fulfillment
Companionship
Parenthood
Economic Security

8. Societal Functions of Marriage
The primary function of marriage is to bind a male and female together who will reproduce, raise their young and socialize them to be productive members of society.
Additional functions:
regulate sexual behavior
stabilize adult personalities by providing a companion

9. Marriage as a Commitment
Person-to-Person
Individuals commit themselves to someone whom they love, with whom they feel a sense of equality, and who they feel is the best of the alternative persons available to them.
Family-to-Family
Marriage involves commitments to the family members of the spouse.

10. Marriage as a Commitment
Couple-to-State
Spouses become legally committed to each other according to the laws of the state in which they reside.
They cannot arbitrarily decide to terminate their own marital agreement.

11. Covenant Marriage
In Louisiana couples can choose a standard marriage contract, or a covenant marriage contract.
A “covenant marriage” permits divorce only under conditions of fault (abuse, adultery, or imprisonment on a felony) or after a marital separation of more than two years.
Fewer than 3% of couples that marry in Louisiana have chosen a covenant marriage.

12. What’s Your Opinion?
Why do you feel that Covenant Marriage is an idea that has not caught on?

13. Weddings
The wedding is a rite of passage that is both religious and civil.
While love is a private experience, marriage is a public experience in the United States.
It is not unusual for couples to have weddings that are neither religious nor traditional.

14. Wedding Day
Pg. 229
A private moment of a couple on their wedding day.

15. Weddings: College Student Perceptions
Women prepare more.
The wedding is for the bride’s family.
The bride wants the wedding documented.
The bride prefers a formal wedding.
Both parents should be invited if they are still married.
Racial background affects perception of who should pay for the wedding.

16. Honeymoons The honeymoon has personal and social functions:
The personal function is to provide a period of recuperation from the demands of preparing for and being in a wedding ceremony and reception.
The social function is to provide a time for the couple to be alone to solidify the change in their identity to a married couple.

17. Legal Changes after Marriage
Unless the partners have signed a prenuptial agreement, after the wedding, each spouse becomes part owner of what the other earns in income and accumulates in property.

18. Personal Changes after Marriage
The married person begins adopting values and behaviors consistent with the married role including:
Changes in how money is spent.
Discovering that one’s mate is different from one’s date.
A loss of freedom.

19. Changes after Marriage
Parents, In-laws, and Friendship Changes
Parents are likely to be more accepting of the partner following the wedding.
Less time will be spent with friends because of the new role demands as a spouse.

20. Sexual Changes after Marriage
The number of sexual partners will decrease.
The frequency with which they have sex with each other will decrease.

21. Interactional Changes after Marriage
Over time, men change from being patriarchal to collaborating with their wives.
Women change from deferring to their husbands’ authority to challenging that authority.
There is less focus on each other and less sex.

22. Muslim American Families
9/ll resulted in an increased awareness that Muslim families are part of American demographics.
5-8 million adults in the U.S. and 1.3 billion worldwide self-identify with the Islamic religion.
The three largest American Muslim groups in the U.S. are African Americans, Arabs, and South Asians.

23. Muslim American Families
Islamic tradition emphasizes:
Close family ties with the nuclear and extended family.
Social activities with family members.
Respect for the authority of the elderly and parents.

24. A Muslim American Family
Pg. 235
This Muslim family lives in the United Sates.
In the center, holding the baby, is the grandfather, and to his left, is the grandmother.
Their sons and daughters-in-law flank them on either side.
The children on the grass and standing in the back are those of the younger married couples.

25. Core Values of Muslim American Families
Courtship
“Dating” in the sense of being alone with a partner to explore romance and sex is prohibited.
Mate Choice
Offspring are taught early to think only of marriage to a person who shares their religion/culture and to defer to their parents and kin whose experience qualifies them as a guide for mate choice.

26. Core Values of Muslim American Families
Love
Love is expected to follow, not precede marriage.
Sexual behavior
Holding hands, kissing and intercourse are strictly forbidden before marriage.
Marriage
The ceremony involves two male witnesses for the bridegroom, a guardian for the bride and a payment by the husband of a dowry for a marriage to be valid.

27. Core Values of Muslim American Families
Gender roles
Equality between husbands and wives is emphasized.
Rearing children
Children are highly valued, loved, and indulged.
Elderly
Children are expected to respect, be kind and dutiful toward their parents.

28. Core Values of Muslim American Families
Alcohol
Muslims are prohibited from consuming alcohol or alcohol products.
Birth Control
Not generally accepted, Possible to limit the number of children by coitus interruptus.
Abortion
Only to save the life of the mother.
Divorce
While spouses are expected to stay together unless doing so becomes intolerable, either spouse may request divorce.

29. Military Families
About 60% of military personnel are married and/or have children.
Military families are unique in several ways:
Traditional Sex Roles.
Typically, the husband is deployed and the wife takes care of the family in his absence.
Loss of Control- Deployment
Military families have little control over their lives and the threat of death or injury is always present.

30. Military Families Infidelity
The context of separation from each other for months at a time increases the vulnerability of both spouses to other partners.
Separation from Extended Family/Close Friends
Resilient Military Families.
Most military families are amazingly resilient.

31. Insert Video
10. Effect of War on Marriage (Run Time: 3:32)

32. African-American Marriages
African-American families may be described in terms of their strengths:
strong kinship bonds
favorable attitudes toward their elderly
adaptable roles
strong achievement orientations
strong religious values
a love of children

33. Interracial Marriage
Less than 5% of marriages in the United States are interracial.
Segregation in religion, housing, and education are factors in the low percentage of Black/white marriages.
Black-white spouses are more likely to have been married before, to be age-discrepant, to live far from their families of orientation, to have been reared in racially tolerant homes, and to have educations beyond high school.

34. Interracial Marriage Pg. 239
College students tend to be open to interracial dating.

35. Interreligious Marriages
If both spouses are devout in their religious beliefs, they may expect problems in the relationship.
Less problematic is the relationship in which one spouse is devout but the partner is not.
If neither spouse in an interfaith marriage is devout, problems regarding religious differences may be minimal or nonexistent.

36. Cross-National Marriages
Since American students take classes with foreign students, there is the opportunity for romance between the groups, which may lead to marriage.
Cultural differences do not necessarily cause stress in cross-national marriage, and degree of cultural difference is not related to degree of stress.
Much of the stress is related to society’s intolerance of cross-national marriages.

37. Age-Discrepant Relationships
Five themes:
They are happy.
They lack social approval and support.
They are not without problems.
Women perceive benefits from involvement with older partners.
Friends of the couple are joint friends.

38. Age Discrepant Relationships
Pg. 242
This wife is 20 years younger than her husband. They had 20 years together before her husband died.

39. Characteristics of Successful Marriages
Commitment
Common interests
Communication
Religiosity
Trust

40. Characteristics of Successful Marriages
Not Materialistic
Role Models
Sexual Desire
Equitable relationships
Absence of negative attributions

41. A Successful Marriage Pg. 244
This couple is celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary.

42. Marital Satisfaction

43. INSERT VIDEO
8. Effect of Holding Hands (Run Time: 2:08)

44. Definition of a Successful Marriage
Marital success is measured in terms of marital stability and marital happiness.
Couples defined marital happiness as feeling respected and cherished.
They regarded their marriage as a work in progress that needed continued attention.