1. 6: Inter-Act, 13th Edition
Relationships

2. Relationship – a set of expectations two people have for their behavior based on the pattern of interaction between them
Good relationship –
interactions are satisfying to and
healthy for those involved

3. Abusive relationship –
interactions are physically, mentally, or emotionally harmful

4. Functions of Relationships
Constitutive function – Relationships come about through interactions
Instrumental function – Communication is a way to “get things done” in the relationship
Indexical function – The “thermometer” of a relationship; measures who is in control, how much partners trust each other, and the level of intimacy in the relationship

5. Describing Relationships
Relationships vary in intensity
Impersonal relationship – based on filling a role or satisfying an immediate need
Personal relationship – people care about each other, share large amounts of information with each other, and meet each other’s interpersonal needs
Voluntary, involuntary
Platonic vs. romantic

6. Types of Relationships
Acquaintances – people we know by name and talk with when the opportunity arises, but with whom our interactions are limited
Friends – people with whom we have voluntarily negotiated more personal relationships
Close friends or intimates – those with whom we share a deep commitment, trust, interdependence, disclosure, and affection

7. Gender Differences Women develop close friendships through:
Talking
Disclosing personal history
Sharing personal feelings
Joint activities
Doing favors for each other
Successive tests of dependability

8. Dimensions of Relationships
Interdependence
Depth
Breadth
Commitment
Understanding and Predictability
Communication Coding
Sharing Social Networks
As dimensions increase, relationships develop; as they decrease, relationships deteriorate.

9. Johari Window Known to self Not known to self Open Blind Known to
others
Secret
Unknown
Not known
to others
V / V, ch.3

10. Social Penetration Theory
Self-disclosure is integral to all stages of relationships, but changes over time.
The nature and type of self-disclosure change as people become more intimate.
When disclosure is reciprocated, the relationship becomes intimate.

11. Self-Disclosure Guidelines
Disclose information that you want others to disclose to you.
Disclose information appropriate for the type of relationship.
Disclose intimate information only when it represents an acceptable risk.
Be sensitive to your partner’s ability to absorb your disclosure.
Reserve intimate or very personal disclosures for ongoing relationships.
Continue intimate self-disclosure only when it is reciprocated.

12. Self-Disclosure Online
Lack of social cues produces ineffective self-disclosure and miscommunication.
Media Richness Theory: Richer media provide more social cues to reproduce the intended meaning of the message.
Posters Letters Texting Facebook Telephone Skype Face-to-Face

13. Changing Relationships
Relationships move through identifiable stages.
Turning points:
Events that mark a transition from one stage to another
Lead to greater intimacy or to deterioration of relationship
Happen at all stages in a relationship

14. Relationship Stages
Beginning
Developing
Sustaining
Declining

15. Beginning Relationships
During the first stage of a relationship, communication focuses on:
Increasing knowledge of the other
Reducing uncertainty
Increasing interaction

16. Predicted Outcome Value Theory
Early in the relationship, we gather information to predict whether the benefits of future interactions will outweigh the costs.
3 stages of beginning relationships:
Entry
Personal
Exit

17. Developing Relationships
Increasing disclosure
Keeping a relationship at a particular level of closeness or intimacy
Frequent communication
Emerging interdependence

18. Interpersonal Needs Theory
Relationship depends on how well each person meets the interpersonal needs of the other.
Three basic interpersonal needs:
Affection
Inclusion
Control

19. Exchange Theory
Relationships understood in terms of exchange of rewards and costs during interactions
Cost/Reward ratio
Rewards – needs met
Costs – time and energy spent developing relationship
Relationships develop and are sustained when partners choose to meet each other’s needs.

20. Sustaining Relationships
Use pro-social behaviors.
Observe ceremonial occasions.
Spend time together as a couple and with mutual friends.
Communicate frequently.
Words and actions reassure continuing affection, discretion, trustworthiness.
Share tasks.

21. Relational Dialectics
Autonomy/Connection
I need my own space. I want to be close.
Openness/Closedness
I like sharing so There are some
much with you. things I don’t want
to talk about.
Novelty/Predictability
We need to do I like the familiar
something new rhythms we have.

22. Managing Dialectical Tensions
Temporal selection
Topical segmentation
Neutralization
Reframing

23. Declining Relationships
The communication in declining relationships is marked by three stages:
Recognition of dissatisfaction
Process of repairing or disengaging from relationship
Ending

24. Relationship Termination Strategies
Manipulation/Withdrawal/Avoidance – blaming others, or indirectly failing to take responsibility for ending the relationship (-)
Direct/Open/Honest – clearly, respectfully communicating desire to end relationship, sensitive to resulting emotions (+)
Relationship Transformation – continuing the relationship on different terms (+)