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Looking Out/Looking In Fourteenth Edition 9 Interpersonal Communication in Close Relationships CHAPTER TOPICS Intimacy in Close Relationships Communication.

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Presentation on theme: "Looking Out/Looking In Fourteenth Edition 9 Interpersonal Communication in Close Relationships CHAPTER TOPICS Intimacy in Close Relationships Communication."— Presentation transcript:

1 Looking Out/Looking In Fourteenth Edition 9 Interpersonal Communication in Close Relationships CHAPTER TOPICS Intimacy in Close Relationships Communication in Families Communication in Friendships Communication in Romantic Relationships Improving Close Relationships

2 2 Interpersonal Communication in Close Relationships Intimacy in Close Relationships Dimensions of Intimacy Physical Intellectual Emotional Shared Activities Some relationships exhibit all four dimensions Other relationships exhibit only one or two

3 3 Interpersonal Communication in Close Relationships Intimacy in Close Relationships Masculine and Feminine Styles Research shows that women are somewhat more willing than men to share their feelings In terms of amount and depth: Female – Female were at the top Male – Female came in second Male – Male had the least disclosure Biological sex is not as important as the chosen gender role when expressing emotion Generalizations do not apply to every person

4 4 Interpersonal Communication in Close Relationships Intimacy in Close Relationships Cultural Influences on Intimacy Notions of public and private selves have changed dramatically Collectivist cultures Generally do not reach out to outsiders, often waiting until they are properly introduced before entering into conversation Individualistic cultures Make fewer distinctions between personal relationships and casual ones

5 5 Interpersonal Communication in Close Relationships Intimacy in Close Relationships Intimacy in Mediated Communication Mediated communication can be just as personal as face-to-face interaction Relational intimacy may develop more quickly through mediated channels Intimate connections in cyberspace can also be problematic “Virtually unfaithful”

6 6 Interpersonal Communication in Close Relationships Intimacy in Close Relationships The Limits of Intimacy Most people want 4-6 close relationships in their lives Obsession with intimacy can lead to less satisfying relationships Intimacy is rewarding but it isn’t the only way of relating to others

7 7 Interpersonal Communication in Close Relationships Communication in Families Characteristics of Family Communication Family communication is formative Family communication is role-driven Family communication is involuntary

8 8 Interpersonal Communication in Close Relationships Communication in Families Characteristics of Family Communication Families as systems Family systems are interdependent Family systems are manifested through communication Family systems are nested Subsystems Suprasystems Families are more than the sum of their parts

9 9 Interpersonal Communication in Close Relationships Communication in Families Communication Patterns within Families Conversation orientation High conversation orientation Low conversation orientation Conformity orientation High-conformity families Low-conformity families

10 10 Interpersonal Communication in Close Relationships Communication in Families Communication Patterns within Families Consensual High conversation, high conformity Pluralistic High conversation, low conformity Protective Low conversation, high conformity Laissez-faire Low conversation, low conformity

11 11 Interpersonal Communication in Close Relationships Communication in Friendships Types of Friendships Youthful vs. mature Long term vs. short term Relationship oriented vs. task oriented High disclosure vs. low disclosure High obligation vs. low obligation Frequent contact vs. occasional contact

12 12 Interpersonal Communication in Close Relationships Communication in Friendships Sex, Gender, and Friendship Same-sex friendships Cross-sex friendships Mutual romance, strictly platonic, one partner desires romance, one partner rejects romance Friends with benefits

13 13 Interpersonal Communication in Close Relationships Communication in Friendships Sex, Gender, and Friendship Gender considerations Sex role Sexual orientation

14 14 Interpersonal Communication in Close Relationships Communication in Friendships Friendship and Social Media Internet has made friendship more complicated Social networking sites used primarily to maintain current friendships or to revive old ones Social media isn’t a replacement for face-to-face communication Means to support and rekindle friendships

15 15 Interpersonal Communication in Close Relationships Communication in Romantic Relationships Ancient Greek Storge and philla Friendly love Pragma Practical, logical affinity Agape Selfless, altruistic compassion Mania Eros

16 16 Interpersonal Communication in Close Relationships Communication in Romantic Relationships Romantic Turning Points Transformative events that alter the relationship Especially important in romantic relationships Often mark movement among stages Not all turning points are positive Can provide clues about the status of the relationship

17 17 Interpersonal Communication in Close Relationships Communication in Romantic Relationships Couples’ Conflict Styles John Gottman – conflict styles Volatile Avoidant Validating

18 18 Interpersonal Communication in Close Relationships Communication in Romantic Relationships Couples’ Conflict Styles Gary Chapman – love languages Words of affirmation Quality time Gifts Acts of service Physical touch Assumption your partner speaks same love language as you can be a setup for disappointment

19 19 Interpersonal Communication in Close Relationships Improving Close Relationships Relationships Require Commitment Promise - sometimes implied, sometimes explicit – to remain in a relationship and make it successful Commitment formed and reinforced through communication Words aren’t surefire measure of commitment Deeds are also important

20 20 Interpersonal Communication in Close Relationships Improving Close Relationships Relationships Require Maintenance and Support Relational maintenance strategies Positivity Openness Assurances Social networks Sharing tasks

21 21 Interpersonal Communication in Close Relationships Improving Close Relationships Relationships Require Maintenance and Support Most used with family and friends Openness Social networks Most used with romantic partners Assurances

22 22 Interpersonal Communication in Close Relationships Improving Close Relationships Relationships Require Maintenance and Support Social support Helping loved ones through challenging times Communication plays a central role Resources Emotional support Informational support Instrumental support

23 23 Interpersonal Communication in Close Relationships Improving Close Relationships Repairing Damaged Relationships Types of relational transgressions Lack of commitment Distance Disrespect Problematic emotions Aggression

24 24 Interpersonal Communication in Close Relationships Improving Close Relationships Repairing Damaged Relationships Relational transgressions Minor vs. significant Social vs. relational Deliberate vs. unintentional One-time vs. incremental

25 25 Interpersonal Communication in Close Relationships Improving Close Relationships Repairing Damaged Relationships Strategies for relational repair Talk about the violation Take responsibility for the transgression Components of apology Expressing regret Accepting responsibility Making restitution Genuinely repenting Requesting forgiveness

26 26 Interpersonal Communication in Close Relationships Improving Close Relationships Repairing Damaged Relationships Forgiving transgressions Most effective conversations contain: Explicit statement Discussion of the implications of the transgression and future of relationship Some transgressions harder to forgive One way to improve ability to forgive is to recall times when you have mistreated or hurt others

27 27 Interpersonal Communication in Close Relationships Chapter Review Intimacy in Close Relationships Communication in Families Communication in Friendships Communication in Romantic Relationships Improving Close Relationships


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