2 Chapter ObjectivesDiscuss the functions of communication in relationshipsDescribe how relationships differ and are categorizedExplain how relationships change during their life cyclesIdentify the issues in each stage of the life cycle that require effective communication
3 Abusive relationship – Relationship – a set of expectations two people have for their behavior based on the pattern of interaction between themGood relationship –interactions are satisfying to andhealthy for those involvedAbusive relationship –interactions are physically, mentally, or emotionally harmful
4 Functions of Relationships Constitutive function – Relationships come about through interactionsInstrumental function – Communication is a way to “get things done” in the relationshipIndexical function – The “thermometer” of a relationship; measures who is in control, how much partners trust each other, and the level of intimacy in the relationship
5 How Relationships Differ Impersonal vs. PersonalVoluntary vs. InvoluntaryPlatonic vs. Romantic
6 Types of Relationships Acquaintances – people we know by name and talk with when the opportunity arises, but with whom our interactions are limitedFriends – people with whom we have voluntarily negotiated more personal relationshipsClose friends or intimates – those with whom we share a deep commitment, trust, interdependence, disclosure, and affection
7 Class ActivityIn groups of 3-4, identify the different expectations you have for acquaintances, friends, “best friends,” and loversWhat happens when two people have different expectations? How do you progress from one type of relationship to another? Do we sometimes have unrealistic expectations of people?
8 Gender Differences Women develop close friendships through: TalkingDisclosing personal historySharing personal feelingsJoint activitiesDoing favors for each otherSuccessive tests of dependability
9 Dimensions of Relationships InterdependenceDepthBreadthCommitmentUnderstanding and PredictabilityCommunication CodingSharing Social NetworksAs dimensions increase, relationships develop; as they decrease, relationships deteriorate.
10 Self-disclosure & Feedback: The Johari Window Known to selfNot knownto selfOpenBlindKnown toothersSecretUnknownNot knownto othersV / V, ch.3
11 The Role of Self-Disclosure Social Penetration Theory: Self-disclosure is integral to all stages of relationships, but changes over time.The nature and type of self-disclosure change as people become more intimate.When disclosure is reciprocated, the relationship becomes intimate.
12 Self-Disclosure Guidelines Disclose information that you want others to disclose to you.Disclose information appropriate for the type of relationship.Disclose intimate information only when it represents an acceptable risk.Be sensitive to your partner’s ability to absorb your disclosure.Reserve intimate or very personal disclosures for ongoing relationships.Continue intimate self-disclosure only when it is reciprocated.
13 Extra Credit Opportunity Do you have problems either disclosing personal information or providing your relationship partner with feedback? Write a communication improvement plan (for assistance see worksheet at ) and follow the Assignment Rubric
14 Relationship Life Cycles Relationships move through identifiable stages.Turning points:Events that mark a transition from one stage to anotherLead to greater intimacy or to deterioration of relationshipHappen at all stages in a relationship
15 Extra Credit Opportunity Observe and Analyze (p173)Select one long-term relationship, identify the turning points, indicate whether each was a positive event that strengthened the relationship or negative event that weakened relationship intimacy. Discuss these with the other person and describe the outcome.
17 Beginning Relationships Communication focuses on:Increasing knowledge of the otherReducing uncertaintyIncreasing interactionPredicted Outcome Value Theory:We gather information to predict whether the benefits of future interactions will outweigh the costs.Stages of Beginning Relationships:EntryPersonalExit
18 Developing Relationships Increasing disclosureKeeping a relationship at a particular level of closeness or intimacyFrequent communicationEmerging interdependenceInterpersonal Needs Theory:Relationship depends on how well each person meets the interpersonal needs of the other.AffectionInclusionControl
19 Exchange Theory:Relationships understood in terms of exchange of rewards and costs during interactionsCost/Reward ratioRewards – needs metCosts – time and energy spent developing relationshipRelationships develop and are sustained when partners choose to meet each other’s needs.
20 Sustaining Relationships Use pro-social behaviors.Observe ceremonial occasions.Spend time together as a couple and with mutual friends.Communicate frequently.Words and actions reassure continuing affection, discretion, trustworthiness.Share tasks.
21 Relational Dialectics The conflicting pulls that exist in relationships as well as within each individual in a relationshipAutonomy/ConnectionI need my own space. I want to be close.Openness/ClosednessI like sharing so There are somethings I don’t wantto talk about.Novelty/PredictabilityWe need to do I like the familiarrhythms we have.
23 Relationship Decline The communication in declining relationships is marked by three stages:Recognition of dissatisfactionProcess of repairing or disengaging from relationshipEndingTermination Strategies:Manipulation/Withdrawal/AvoidanceDirect/Open/HonestRelationship Transformation