1. Common Concerns and Support for First Year and Other Students Gary Margolis Ph.D. Executive Director, Center for Counseling and Human Relations, Associate Professor, English and American Literatures

2. COLLEGE originally meant a place we go to experience our place in the universe and thus to find wisdom

3. ADVENTURE the capacity to go beyond the given “And then the time came when the risk of remaining tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom” -Mary Oliver

5. Common Concerns The First Six Weeks of School for First Year Students : 7.Will people be ok at home when I’m away at college? 8.What if I hate it at the college of my choice? 9.How can I manage my time with everything I have/want to do? 10.Where can I be private here? 11.Will the new adults here “see” and understand me? 1.What am I feeling being away from home, the familiar? 2.How am I going to do here? 3.Who do I like? 4.Who will like me? 5.How do I live with this person not of my choosing? 6.What do I do with the freedom to make my own decisions?

6. Common Concerns of First Year Parents 1. Did my son/daughter (we) make the right choice? 1. Did my son/daughter (we) make the right choice? 2. How will their old strengths and vulnerabilities continue and change in college 2. How will their old strengths and vulnerabilities continue and change in college 3. What does “letting go” mean emotionally and practically? 3. What does “letting go” mean emotionally and practically? 4. How much contact should we have (phone, e-mail, visits)? 4. How much contact should we have (phone, e-mail, visits)? 5. How will they do without me/us? 5. How will they do without me/us? 6. How will I/we do without them? 6. How will I/we do without them? 7. What should I expect the first week, months, and then during vacations? 7. What should I expect the first week, months, and then during vacations? 8. What should I expect in communication from their college? 8. What should I expect in communication from their college? 9. What are some warning signs, questions to ask to and ways to intervene if necessary. 9. What are some warning signs, questions to ask to and ways to intervene if necessary. 10. What if I want to trade places with my daughter or son? 10. What if I want to trade places with my daughter or son?

7. “Today’s Student” Video http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dGCJ46vy R9o http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dGCJ46vy R9o http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dGCJ46vy R9o http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dGCJ46vy R9o

8. Walking First Years to the Frost Cabin It's my job to take you—three Judy's It's my job to take you—three Judy's and the more-than-I-can-count Jasons-- up this dirt road to the Homer Noble farm and beyond to his cabin. Another class of first years newly arrived and this our school's way of saying Now you're here, dropped off from the couplets of your parents and their lovely unpacking worry. I know it will be hard to hear those lines you have heard in high school and could recite under your soon-to-be- cried tears. Don't worry. I will say them twice, because memory can keep what you need and later play it back to you. I've brought a recording of his voice and ask you to listen in order to think he is here, giving the gone- by hay and rusty apples their first life again, this time in the uncanny past of a poem. Before they left, your fathers and mothers said Write and call. That's why we've taken this walk, so you will have something to tell them when they ask, when each of you realize what this day has come to, that you were here and they have driven themselves home.

9. Consider Consider yourself The way you would the wind. Allow sun to approach you, So the rain can follow. This will include caring for things Inside of things. Let some blossoms suppose They are playing into your hands. As a rule stones will sing, Give what you can, What there is to give, What you have been given.