Presentation on theme: "Communicating with Your Kids: A Proactive Approach for Discipline"— Presentation transcript:
1Communicating with Your Kids: A Proactive Approach for Discipline Bette Nix,Behavior InterventionistShelby County Schools
2If a child doesn’t read, we TEACH If a child doesn’t swim, we TEACH If a child doesn’t multiply, we TEACHIf a child doesn’t drive, we TEACHIf a child doesn’t behave, we….uh…TEACH? PUNISH?
3Inappropriate Behavior Inappropriate behaviors can violate the rights of others or jeopardize safety.They are self-defeating or self-damaging and contrary to the requirement of the situation.All behavior has a purpose (function)!!!!
4Why do students/adults have inappropriate behavior? Attention (negative/positive)AnxietyAcceptance/AffiliationSelf ExpressionAngerFrustrationSadnessTo save faceTask avoidanceGratificationJustice/RevengeMedical issuesUnknown
5What do you think children may gain from the problem behaviors? Attention? What kind of attention? From whom?Avoid an apparently difficult or boring activity?Avoid teacher interaction?Get control of a situation?Avoid embarrassment in front of peers?
6Does the “why” matter?When children have challenging behaviors, we do not always know why.Even when we do, we may not be able to change the cause, but we can still work with the behavior.
8Focus on Proactive Interventions Proactive StrategiesTake place before an event occurs, usually based on previous experience or learning.Reactive StrategiesTake place after an event or stimulus, usually in opposition to a force or influence.
9Typical (REACTIVE) Discipline Strategies Re-directionTalking to childScreaming at childTime-outTaking away a privilege/groundingMake threatsCorporal Punishment
10Immediate & seductive solution….”Get Tough!” Clamp down & increase monitoringRe-re-re-review rulesExtend continuum & consistency of consequencesEstablish “bottom line”...Predictable individual response
11Ways to Escalate Inappropriate Behaviors Raising your voice!Intruding into the student’s personal spaceUsing sarcasmThreateningLecturingNaggingArguing with the studentHaving the last wordCreating a power struggle!!!
12Discipline vs. Punishment Emphasizes powerNot always directly related to the behaviorImplies moral judgmentCoerciveThreatens lossDisciplineEmphasis on realities of social orderLogically related to behaviorSeparates deed from doerTreats child with dignityEmphasizes care, support, and love
13Results we can expect Punishment Fear Rebellion Sneakiness Self-doubt ResentmentDesire for revengeDisciplineSecurityCooperationResponsibilitySelf-disciplineResourcefulnessDesire for conciliation
15Establishing an Environment for Positive Behavior Try to understand what the behavior is communicating (the underlying need)Be firm, but always be fairFair doesn’t mean sameDon’t try to be a friend to your childBe the adultWork on becoming more consistentSeparate the child and the behavior
16Encourage independence through problem solving Avoid feeling sorry for the childShow empathyDo not be concerned about the “right” discipline techniqueRecognize who owns the problem
17If discipline is needed, refuse to fight or argue Encourage responsibility from the childBe sure expectations are clearly explainedIf discipline is needed, refuse to fight or argue
18Kids aren’t born “instant students” Think About ThisKids aren’t born “instant students”We can’t assume they know how to act the waywe want them to act. The behavior we want needs tofirst be taught to them.
19Just as we teach math skills before we expect them to perform math, so mustwe teach basic behavior skills beforewe can expect them to have thoseskills.
20Teaching Appropriate Behaviors Shape the behavior through instruction, practice and correction.Praise should be given for successive approximations, increase expectations and thus praise, fading supports
21Silence is your most powerful tool Silence is your most powerful tool!!! We talk to our children too much in regards to inappropriate behavior.When verbal instruction is needed, lower your voice, give clear, concise instructions and restore order.Be brief, simple and provide choices.
22Students with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) Create an environment with predictability and stability.Clearly define areas to promote organization. Avoid overcrowding. Use care where distracting areas are placed.Give clear cues to your child.Keep work periods short and break assignments into manageable tasks.
23Students Engaging in Disruptive Behavior Students may be disrupting to gain attention, power/control, gain revenge, or project an image of inadequacy.
24Students that Seem to Exhibit Low Self-Esteem Set a warm, supportive tone.Consider the impact of your actions on your child.*****Offer praise that is genuine and specific.Bolster the child’s academic skills for success.Assist the child in gaining an understanding of his/her strengths and weaknesses.Teach the child positive self-talk.Take the child’s questions seriously.Create opportunities for the child to feel important.
25Closed Fist, Open Hand, or Apathy Choices for YouClosed Fist, Open Hand, or Apathy
26What creates the up-tight closed fist feeling? Stress/TensionFeeling overwhelmedTrafficAdministration/ Teachers/ChildrenPerfectionismStudents/Adults not doing what is expectedMoneyAngerFearToo much to doStanding in lineDifficult studentsThe need for controlOther???????
27What creates the open-handed feeling? ExerciseSpending time with familyReadingSingingRest/Enough SleepForgivenessCompassion/ Empathy/Patience/Love/TrustOther?????
28How do getting enough sleep, getting enough exercise and doing things you enjoy impact how you might deal with a crisis situation?