1. What does resiliency mean to you? © Copyright 2011—Current All Rights Reserved Foundation of Wellness™

2. Resiliency: being flexible; Being able to take stress without getting hurt; Being able to get through a hard or bad time and move on. 2

3. © Copyright 2011—Current All Rights Reserved Foundation of Wellness™ Family Community support/programs A person or people who believe in us Religious/spiritual beliefs 3

4. © Copyright 2011—Current All Rights Reserved Foundation of Wellness™ COMMUNICATION BE A COMMUNICATION BRIDGE BUILDER NOT A WALL MAKER 4

5. © Copyright 2011—Current All Rights Reserved Foundation of Wellness™ Share information Find solutions How can talking help build a communication bridge? It helps us: COMMUNICATION continued……….. 5

6. © Copyright 2011—Current All Rights Reserved Foundation of Wellness™ Share feelings Ask questions Problem solve Clarify rules and limits COMMUNICATION continued……….. 6

7. © Copyright 2011—Current All Rights Reserved Foundation of Wellness™ Help reduce anxiety and stress to resolve a situation/problem Look at choices and options Get to know another person better COMMUNICATION continued……….. 7

8. © Copyright 2011—Current All Rights Reserved Foundation of Wellness™ There is a difference between talking to a patient and talking with a patient. The difference involves learning how to be a good listener. COMMUNICATION continued……….. 8

9. This Means: Paying attention to what the patient is saying Notice how the patient is responding to you Being in that moment © Copyright 2011—Current All Rights Reserved Foundation of Wellness™ 9

10. COMMUNICATION continued……….. Pausing to decide what we want to say and how we want to say it. Asking yourself silently: “What is really going on here?” 10

11. COMMUNICATION continued……….. BE AN INFORMATION SHARER NOT A PREACHER WHO KNOWS IT ALL © Copyright 2011—Current All Rights Reserved Foundation of Wellness™ 11

12. COMMUNICATION continued……….. © Copyright 2011—Current All Rights Reserved Foundation of Wellness™ We want to be guides and enablers to help the patient 1.Learn how to solve problems 2.Find their own healthy solutions 3.Believe they are able to do it 12

13. COMMUNICATION continued……….. © Copyright 2011—Current All Rights Reserved Foundation of Wellness™ Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man how to fish and he will be fed for a lifetime. 13

14. POWER OF WORDS © Copyright 2011—Current All Rights Reserved Foundation of Wellness™ ---Take a look at what words can do... Encourage us Change an attitude Inspire us 14

15. © Copyright 2011—Current All Rights Reserved Foundation of Wellness™ POWER OF WORDS Continued >>> Change our mood Touch our emotions Stimulate us Reach into our hearts 15

16. © Copyright 2011—Current All Rights Reserved Foundation of Wellness™ POWER OF WORDS Continued >>> Cause feelings/reactions in our body Alter our thoughts 16

17. © Copyright 2011—Current All Rights Reserved Foundation of Wellness™ Words can also become roadblocks that can cause a patient not to talk about a worry or problem. The tone of voice or a facial look can have this effect. POWER OF WORDS Continued >>> 17

18. © Copyright 2011—Current All Rights Reserved Foundation of Wellness™ POWER OF WORDS Continued >>> Most of the time people do not stop to think of the impact their words have on others every day. 18

19. © Copyright 2011—Current All Rights Reserved Foundation of Wellness™ It is very important to be aware of the effect our choice of words can have on patients and influence them. POWER OF WORDS Continued >>> 19

20. © Copyright 2011—Current All Rights Reserved Foundation of Wellness™ POWER OF WORDS Continued >>> This happens by the way the words are used and spoken.. 20

21. © Copyright 2011—Current All Rights Reserved Foundation of Wellness™ POWER OF WORDS Continued >>> FOR EXAMPLE: POSITIVE NEGATIVE Build Up Boost Support Put-Down Judge Constantly Criticize 21

22. © Copyright 2011—Current All Rights Reserved Foundation of Wellness™ POWER OF WORDS Continued >>> FOR EXAMPLE: POSITIVE NEGATIVE Make Clear Heal Nurture Make fun of Abandon (no support) 22

23. © Copyright 2011—Current All Rights Reserved Foundation of Wellness™ POWER OF WORDS Continued >>> ----Words can be used to empower and enable change to happen -----The power of words can be very strong and healing of the hurts life experience can have on a patient or person. 23

24. © Copyright 2011—Current All Rights Reserved Foundation of Wellness™ POWER OF WORDS Continued >>> ----Denying feelings ----telling a patient they shouldn’t feel the way they do. “You shouldn’t feel so upset about that.” FOR EXAMPLE: 24

25. © Copyright 2011—Current All Rights Reserved Foundation of Wellness™ POWER OF WORDS Continued >>> FOR EXAMPLE: ----Judging---- Telling a patient--- “What’s the matter with you?” 25

26. © Copyright 2011—Current All Rights Reserved Foundation of Wellness™ POWER OF WORDS Continued >>> FOR EXAMPLE: ----Changing the subject----getting a patient to talk about something else. “You may be upset, but did you hear what happened to _____?” 26

27. © Copyright 2011—Current All Rights Reserved Foundation of Wellness™ POWER OF WORDS Continued >>> FOR EXAMPLE: ----Advising----instead of solving the problem. “If I were you I would forget it.” 27

28. © Copyright 2011—Current All Rights Reserved Foundation of Wellness™ POWER OF WORDS Continued >>> FOR EXAMPLE: ----Interpreting----telling a patient why they feel the way they do. “Why are you being such a big baby?” 28

29. © Copyright 2011—Current All Rights Reserved Foundation of Wellness™ POWER OF WORDS Continued >> ----Sympathizing----instead of empathizing…. Sympathy---- “That was bad. I feel sorry for you.” Empathy----”I understand how difficult that has been for you.” 29

30. © Copyright 2011—Current All Rights Reserved Foundation of Wellness™ POWER OF WORDS Continued >>> Remember: A positive attitude can help build resiliency. It can help turn feelings of helplessness into learned self-helpfulness. 30

31. © Copyright 2011—Current All Rights Reserved Foundation of Wellness™ POWER OF WORDS Continued >>> Remember: Self-worth and self-esteem can be improved by a patient feeling valued. 31

32. © Copyright 2011—Current All Rights Reserved Foundation of Wellness™ HELPING TOOLS Acceptance Being genuine: Be yourself Not Judging: not blaming, criticizing or acting shocked Respect/Sharing Trustworthy Understanding 32

33. © Copyright 2011—Current All Rights Reserved Foundation of Wellness™ HELPING TOOLS Continued >>>> For Example: “Am I hearing you say _______________?” Repeat back what your patient has said. “What happened that made you upset (angry, hurt, etc)?” 33

34. © Copyright 2011—Current All Rights Reserved Foundation of Wellness™ LISTENING TOOLS Many times patients do not feel noticed or heard, because no one takes the time to listen to them. 34

35. © Copyright 2011—Current All Rights Reserved Foundation of Wellness™ LISTENING TOOLS GOALS TO BE A GOOD LISTENER Show the patient you hear and understand them Encourage and help the patient talk about their worry, fear or problem 35

36. © Copyright 2011—Current All Rights Reserved Foundation of Wellness™ LISTENING TOOLS Continued>>>> Be focused and pay attention Stay open to what is being said – do not think about what you are going to say Remain neutral in facial and body language 36

37. © Copyright 2011—Current All Rights Reserved Foundation of Wellness™ LISTENING TOOLS Continued>>>> TOOL TIPS Keep good eye contact Listen more than talk Listen on two levels 37

38. LISTENING TOOLS Continued>>>> Clarify to be sure. For example: “You said _______? Am I right about it?” This helps to be sure of what was said. You might follow up with an open-ended question such as…. © Copyright 2011—Current All Rights Reserved Foundation of Wellness™ 38

39. LISTENING TOOLS Continued>>>> © Copyright 2011—Current All Rights Reserved Foundation of Wellness™ “How do you feel about that” or “What happened?” You can also ask “Do you have any ideas about how to handle this?” 39

40. © Copyright 2011—Current All Rights Reserved Foundation of Wellness™ Listen for feeling as well as content – the tone of voice and the body language. You can ask: “What are you feeling right now?” LISTENING TOOLS Continued>>>> This helps a patient notice their feelings. It can help you to find out and help solve a concern or problem. 40

41. © Copyright 2011—Current All Rights Reserved Foundation of Wellness™ 41 RESPONDING TOOLS These tools are what we say after we have listened. There are two goals: To show the patient you heard them To help the patient talk more

42. © Copyright 2011—Current All Rights Reserved Foundation of Wellness™ 42 RESPONDING TOOLS Continued >>>> Clarifying: For example: “I am not quite sure about what you are saying. Can you tell me more?” “I want to be clear about what you said. Are you saying _______?’ This helps your patient look more closely At thoughts and feelings.

43. © Copyright 2011—Current All Rights Reserved Foundation of Wellness™ 43 RESPONDING TOOLS Continued >>>> Questioning: For example: Open ended: “How did you react when that happened to you?” Close ended: “Did you feel angry when that happened to you?” “Why” questions can cause a patient to feel defensive or judged. It requires giving a reason or explanation and are best not used whenever possible as it can shut down more talking that might help solve a problem.

44. © Copyright 2011—Current All Rights Reserved Foundation of Wellness™ 44 RESPONDING TOOLS Continued >>>> Paraphrasing: For example: Patient: “I am not going to go there (school, camp, class, program, activity.).” Reply: “I feel I don’t understand. Can we talk about this more?”

45. © Copyright 2011—Current All Rights Reserved Foundation of Wellness™ 45 RESPONDING TOOLS Continued >>>> For example: Reply: “You feel ____because_____. Pause and ask if that is right or true? ” Reply : “I sense you feel ____ (sad, worried, afraid, etc.)” Reply : “Are you feeling sad because the other patients did not include you?” Both paraphrasing and reflecting show your patient you understood them and encourage them to keep talking. Reflecting:

46. © Copyright 2011—Current All Rights Reserved Foundation of Wellness™ 46 RESPONDING TOOLS Continued >>>> For example: “Can you tell me more about what you were first talking about?” Remember you are responsible for helping the patient remain focused. You can show caring: “I don’t blame you for wanting to change the subject, but it might hurt less after you get it out.” Staying focused:

47. © Copyright 2011—Current All Rights Reserved Foundation of Wellness™ 47 RESPONDING TOOLS Continued >>>> For example: “I hear you saying “That’s no big deal.”, but you appear tense and may not be recognizing how you really feel.” Avoid using this approach if your patient seems very upset or uncomfortable with you as they may be feeling confronted. Indicating contradictions:

48. © Copyright 2011—Current All Rights Reserved Foundation of Wellness™ 48 RESPONDING TOOLS Continued >>>> For example: “I remember a time when I had an experience like that and what I did was ______.” This makes you appear more human and participating rather than remaining separate. Sharing experience:

49. © Copyright 2011—Current All Rights Reserved Foundation of Wellness™ 49 It is often hard for a patient to know how to react to bullying. They may have done nothing to cause it. Sometimes a patient may be too ashamed and not bring up the subject. BULLYING Continued >>>> You can ask them: “Are there any bullies in your class or around where you live?” “Have you eve been bullied?”

50. © Copyright 2011—Current All Rights Reserved Foundation of Wellness™ 50 BULLYING Continued >>>> 1.Do not suggest fighting back as smaller patients are often the victims. 2.Suggest avoidance. Walk away if you can. 3.Tell patient it is wrong. It is not their fault.

51. © Copyright 2011—Current All Rights Reserved Foundation of Wellness™ 51 4.Teach self-confidence and something to say. Look the bully in the eye and stay calm: BULLYING Continued >>>> “I don’t like what you are doing. Why are you doing it?” “Why are you saying that?” “Don’t talk to me like that!”

52. © Copyright 2011—Current All Rights Reserved Foundation of Wellness™ 52 Teach patient how to ask for help. Let them know it is O.K. to ask for help. Talk to the school – teacher, counselor, principal. Encourage patient to get into an activity they might like to meet other patients. BULLYING Continued >>>>

53. © Copyright 2011—Current All Rights Reserved Foundation of Wellness™ 53 SELF-CONCEPT This means: How we see ourselves How we think others see us How we would like to be seen by others

54. © Copyright 2011—Current All Rights Reserved Foundation of Wellness™ 54 SELF-CONCEPT Continued >>>> It affects: The way we act and do things How we feel about ourselves

55. © Copyright 2011—Current All Rights Reserved Foundation of Wellness™ 55 SELF-CONCEPT Continued >>>> It is gotten and shaped as we go along in our life: We pick up messages from others People tell us verbally and with behavior

56. © Copyright 2011—Current All Rights Reserved Foundation of Wellness™ 56 SELF-CONCEPT Continued >>>> What they think about us How they see us by our actions, attitude and the way we look.

57. © Copyright 2011—Current All Rights Reserved Foundation of Wellness™ 57 SELF-CONCEPT Continued >>>> This affects a patient’s idea of themself. It begins with the building of self-worth.

58. © Copyright 2011—Current All Rights Reserved Foundation of Wellness™ 58 1.Behavior and attitude can be changed by Hearing more positive messages Use positive words that support and encourage SELF-CONCEPT Continued >>>> TOOLS

59. © Copyright 2011—Current All Rights Reserved Foundation of Wellness™ 59 Noticing things the patient does that please you. Focus on patient’s strengths. Help patient to see themselves as worthwhile SELF-CONCEPT Continued >>>>

60. © Copyright 2011—Current All Rights Reserved Foundation of Wellness™ 60 Be accepting of the patient, but not always their behavior. SELF-CONCEPT Continued >>>> For Example: “I can accept you are upset (angry, etc), but I do not accept your behavior.”

61. BE WELL --- MAKE A GOOD DAY! IT IS UP TO YOU © Copyright 2011—Current All Rights Reserved Foundation of Wellness™ REMEMBER…….

62. © Copyright 2011—Current All Rights Reserved Foundation of Wellness™ Foundation of Wellness ™ 1200 S. Federal Hwy Suite #202 Boynton Beach, FL 33435 1200 S. Federal Hwy Suite #202 Boynton Beach, FL 33435 Phone: 561-523-3626 Fax:561-731-5877 info@fofwellness.org www.fofwellness.org Phone: 561-523-3626 Fax:561-731-5877 info@fofwellness.org www.fofwellness.org 62