2. Family Life

3.  What first attracts you to the opposite sex?  What characteristics are most important to you? You attract what you are….. not what you want.

4.  Happiest couples feel their partner is attractive & they have the best sex lives. Appearance continues to be important through marriage. Changes in wife’s appearance have more effect than changes in husband’s appearance. Halo effect: The assumptions that good-looking people possess more desirable social characteristics.

5. MMen are valued for status & money. WWomen are valued for good looks, child rearing & homemaking skills. Who is the most powerful man in America? Who is the most influential woman in America?

6.  MARRIAGE GRADIENT: Why men choose younger women & women choose higher status.  MARRIAGE SQUEEZE: Older women have fewer eligible males. Working women don’t need a man for a paycheck but want a companion.

7.  Does not allow incestuous relationships.  Second cousins allowed to marry, first cousins over 40 years old.  Native Americans and Orientals marry outside race more often. FIELD OF ELIGIBLES: Culture approves of potential partners. ENDOGAMY: Marriage within a particular group. EXOGAMY: Marriage outside a particular group.

8. FACT OR FALLACY? What things are important to have in common?

9.  Race – 97% marriages of same race.  Religion – Greatest risk of divorce is if one is very religious.  Socioeconomic Status – Men often marry down, women often marry up.  Age – Members of same generation at same life tasks. Gap has narrowed and age entering marriage has climbed.  Propinquity – Residence, geographically limited locale (internet).

10. Homogamous marriages are more likely to succeed because Heterogamous marriages:  Different values and lack understanding.  Lack approval from friends and family, less support.  Less conventional, therefore less likely to stay married for looks. Activity – Take Temperament test.

11. PREDICTORS OF DIVORCE:  Both teens = 3 to 4 x more likely to divorce  Only 5% will last more than 5 years  Girl is a teen = 2 x more likely to divorce

12.  Common skills  Good emotional & physical health  High self esteem  High education level  Older age at first marriage  High social status  Longer courtship  average engagement 9 months  average acquaintance 2 – 2 1/2 years)

13. Parent Model  High marriage quality in family of origin  High level of happiness in childhood  Positive relationship between parents Support from significant others  Parent approval of spouse  Liking of in-laws  Support of friends

14.  1% of men preferred women who waited to be asked.  99% of men wanted women to hint to be asked.  50% of men preferred women to ask them out. HOW MANY GUYS WOULD ASK A GIRL OUT WITH OUT BEING GIVEN PERMISSION BEFOREHAND? Men are afraid of rejection from women.

15. HOW DO YOU MEET PEOPLE FOR DATING?  Open field: A setting in which potential partners may not be likely to meet, characterized by large numbers of people who do not ordinarily interact, such as a beach, mall or campus.  Closed field: A setting in which potential partners may meet, characterized by a small number of people who are likely to interact, such as a class, dorm or party). Parties are the most common place 1/3 to 1/2 of all meetings are introductions by friends. (also internet, classified ads, dating services and churches)

16.  Power is not usually a problem in dating but gender roles are.  Who pays?  Who decides?  Communication  Shyness  Sexual pressure

17. Increasing: Divorced, widowed, never married  Delayed marriage  Employment options for women  Increased divorce & decreased likelihood of remarriage  More women in college  More liberal social & sexual standards  Uneven ratios of unmarried women to men

18.  Increases economic, & emotional independence.  Difficulty committing and doing what one ought to do rather than what one wants to do.  Men need women less than women need men thus men flee obligation.  Men less mentally healthy as single.  Media portrays singles as glorified and marriage as unsatisfied with affairs.

19.  Ambivalence: voluntary and temporary  Wishful: Involuntarily & temporary  Resolved: Permanent and prefer it  Regretful: Resigned to their fate. Often well educated, high income over 40 but no available men.

20.  Singles are dependent on their parents  Singles are self-centered  Singles have more money (married couples are better off – dual incomes)  Singles are happier  Singles view single hood as a lifetime alternative

21.  Singles don’t fit into married society  Singles have more time  Singles have more fun  Singles are lonely

23. LEGAL PROBLEMS  Can’t file joint tax return  Can’t make medical decisions  Can’t inherit  Can’t enter hospital or jail restricted to “family”  Can’t create estate trust  Can’t claim marital deduction on income tax  Can’t receive survivor insurance benefits  Can’t get health benefits, bereavement leave, etc  Can’t collect unemployment if you move for a partners job  Can’t get residency status for a noncitizen

24.  May not work as hard.  Lack of pooling of money  More fighting & violence  Man not expected to support his partner, both work  Less social support  Greater likelihood of divorce  More liberal, independent, less religious, lower income