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Choosing a Partner. Selecting a Spouse: Two Models.

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Presentation on theme: "Choosing a Partner. Selecting a Spouse: Two Models."— Presentation transcript:

1 Choosing a Partner

2 Selecting a Spouse: Two Models

3 The Function of Arranged Marriage (Ahmed) 1. Where does power reside? 2. Reaffirming which system? 3. Strategic in consolidating what? 4. Arranged marriage & Collectivist Culture 5. Too big of a decision for two youth!

4 Courtly Love

5 Model of factors affecting Marital Stability (p. 208) Beliefs & attitudes About Part. or Relationship Partner interaction Stability Personality Traits Social Support Satisfaction

6 Exchange Theory The process of looking for a mate 1. Hence, “the marriage market!” 2. What do you bring to the table? 3. What can you do for me?!

7 Permanent Availability Model of Marriage (Faber) All adults are in effect, permanently available to marry, even if already married

8 Traditional Marriage Exchange RELATED TO: 1. Traditional Gender Roles 2. Morality of Sexual Restraint

9 Traditional Marriage Exchange Women * Sexual Favors * Attractiveness * Ability to bear Children

10 Traditional Marriage Exchange Men * Protection * Status * Economic Support

11 Marriage Exchange in a Changing Society Optimistic: as women gain occupational & economic equality with men, the basis for exchange will also become more equal, with both partners valuing the same set of resources: * * * What’s the downside of today’s model, i.e., pessimistic view?

12 Principles of HOMOGAMY Endogamy :marrying within one’s social group (opposite-exogamy) Heterogamy, marrying someone of different race, EDU. age, religion or class)

13 Different Dimensions of Homogamy (Whyte) Three different Marriage Cohorts: 1. Married between Married between Married between

14 Different Dimensions of Homogamy (Whyte) RACE: Significant across all groups ETHNICITY: some influence in groups #1 & #2; decreasing influence in group #3 RELIGION: some influence in group #1 & #2; decreasing influence in group #3

15 Different Dimensions of Homogamy (Whyte) SOCIAL CLASS: Important across all groups, however, how it’s measured changed from family origin characteristics (father’s occupation & money earned) to personal characteristics (education, own job and money earned) PARENTAL INFLUENCE: not a factor in any group. Parental pressure toward homogamous marriage actually produced opposite effect.

16 Theories of Mate Selection Individualistic Theories Sociological Theories

17 Parent Image Theory (Freud) The Oedipus Complex: we seek a partner who is like our mother (for boys) or our father (for girls).

18 Attachment Theory (p189) During infancy and childhood, we learn a system or style of attaching to others:

19 Theory of Complimentary Needs (Winch) After “filtering” for similar others (homogamy), we then look for important differences Three complimentary needs:

20 Stages of Intimacy (Backman & Secord)

21 Murstein’s “Filtering Theory” Stimulus-Values-Roles (SVR) S: Initial physical attraction V: Partners compare values to see if there is an “appropriate” match. R: Prospective spouses test and negotiate how they will play their respective marital and leisure roles

22 Courtship: Three Styles

23 Dating as Courtship Mead’s Criticism A competitive game in which Americans, preoccupied with success, try to be the most popular and have the most dates. Two major problems with dating: Solution: Two-Stage Marriage

24 Getting together Characterized as large groups coming together for a party or shared activity. 1. How does meeting in groups differ from going on a date? 2. How does going out with the girls differ from going on a date? 3. How have attitudes toward marriage change? 4. Why might going out in groups help you pick a better spouse?

25 Cohabitation Selection Hypothesis: Assumes that people that choose serial cohabitation are different from those who do not. a. Less effective in problem-solving and communication skills b. more negative attitudes toward marriage

26 Cohabitation Experience Hypothesis: Posits that cohabiting experiences themselves affect individual so that, once married, they are more likely to divorce a. b.

27 Courtship Violence: Where do you Learn to be Violent?

28 Courtship Violence 20% in Cohabiting 20-40% in Dating relationships Date Rape 50% of Freshman and Sophomore Women report unwanted attempts at intercourse (83% “Men they knew moderately well”) 50% of these attempts succeeded Non of the women reported the rape 1 in 15 college men admit to behavior classified as rape

29 Rape Myths Stranger Rape/ Rapists are mentally ill Almost 2/3 of rapes were committed by someone known to the victim (RAINN, 2008):  73% of sexual assaults were perpetrated by a non-stranger  38% of rapists are a friend or acquaintance.  28% are an intimate  7% are a relative 93% of juvenile sexual assault victims know their attacker (RAINN, 2008):  34.2% of attackers were family members  58.7% were acquaintances  Only 7% of the perpetrators were strangers to the victim Men cannot Control themselves Provoked


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