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Overview Communication Skills Nonverbal communication Oral communication Written communication Interpersonal Applications Business Applications Principles.

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Presentation on theme: "Overview Communication Skills Nonverbal communication Oral communication Written communication Interpersonal Applications Business Applications Principles."— Presentation transcript:

1 Overview Communication Skills Nonverbal communication Oral communication Written communication Interpersonal Applications Business Applications Principles of Business Communication

2 Why Study Communication? The Only Completely Portable Skill You will use it in every relationship You will need it regardless of your career path The Information Age The history of civilization is the history of information Language and written documents facilitate the transfer of information and knowledge through time and space

3 Why Study Communication? Your Quality of Life Depends Primarily on Your Communication Skills You Cannot Be Too Good at Communication People Overestimate Their Own Communication Skills

4 We Want Others to Change

5 What Is Communication? Transfer of MeaningNo Influence of Mental MapsYes Redundant Visual Auditory Kinesthestic Energetic

6 What Is Communication? Conscious and Intentional Nonverbal Verbal Unconscious and Unintentional Nonverbal Verbal

7 Unconscious Processing Conscious Processing = 7±2/Second Unconscious Processing = 200,000,000/Sec. Short-term Memory Long-term Memory Habits Physical Mental

8 Habits Learned Behavior Established Over Time Practice Self-talk Change

9 Learning Unconscious Incompetence Conscious Incompetence Conscious Competence Unconscious Competence Mastery

10 External Reality The Map is Not the Territory We delete information We distort information We generalize We assign meaning Models of the World

11 Sensory Data The Building Blocks of Subjective Experience What we see What we hear What we touch, taste, and smell The Four-tuple Meanings and Memories

12 Filtering Experience Primary Mediation Secondary Mediation Genetic predisposition Conditioning Personal profiles of behavioral type Beliefs, values, core questions, and core metaphors Physical and mental state

13 Perception Can Be Tricky

14 The Communication Process Sensory Data SenderReceiver Filters Beliefs Values Questions & Metaphors Beh. Type State Filters Beliefs Values Questions & Metaphors Beh. Type State Decision- Making Message Channel The Bowman Communication Model, Encoding Decision- Making Encoding

15 Metaphor: The Language of Perception Metaphors and Similes My love is a flower. My love is like a flower. Core Metaphors Argument is war Business is war Business is a sport or a game Business is a building

16 Core Metaphors Metaphors, Similes, and Analogies Perceptual Filters Common Operational Metaphors Time is… Learning is… Men/Women are… Success is... Life is…

17 Experience, Language, and Meaning Experience Sensory Data Mental Maps LanguageMeaning

18 Symbol Systems Language Words and sentences Meaning and labels Mathematics Money

19 History of Communication Nonverbal:150,000 years Oral: 55,000 years Written: 6,000 years Early writing: 4000 BC Egyptian hieroglyphics: 3000 BC Phoenician alphabet: 1500 to 2000 BC Book printing in China: 600 BC Book printing in Europe: 1400 AD

20 Communicating Meaning Physiology and Appearance:55 percent Paralanguage:38 percent Language: 7 percent

21 Sensory Data and Mental Maps Bridge Between Internal and External Internal and External Processing Internal Processing Posture and breathing Language and paralanguage Eye accessing cues

22 Sensory Modalities Visual Auditory Kinesthetic Touch Taste Smell Emotional responses (feelings)

23 Preferred Sensory Modalities People Use All Their Available Senses Some Prefer Visual Some Prefer Auditory Some Prefer the Kinesthetic Cluster Senses of touch, taste, and smell Associated emotional responses Some Prefer Digital Processing

24 Visuals Vocabulary I see what you mean. It looks good to me. Lets stay focused on the problem. She has a bright future. Hes always in a fog. Physiology and Appearance Paralanguage

25 Auditories Vocabulary I hear what you are saying. It sounds good to me. Does the name Pavlov ring a bell? Thats music to my ears. Hes always blowing his own horn. Physiology and Appearance Paralanguage

26 Kinesthetics (Kinos) Vocabulary I can grasp the concept, and it feels right to me. It smells fishy to me. It left me with a bad taste in my mouth. Shes still rough around the edges. Hes a smooth operator. Physiology and Appearance Paralanguage

27 Eye Accessing Cues Vr Ar Ai Vc Ac K

28 Exercise: Observing Eye Movements Ask questions that require internal processing. Visual Auditory Kinesthetic Taste or smell Touch Emotions

29 Exercise: Flexibility Determine your preferred system. What are you doing when you think? Speak for two minutes using predicates from one sensory modality, then do the the same for each of the other two. Work in groups and take turns speaking using sense-based predicates in a systematic way.

30 Rapport Finding Commonalities Values Vocabulary and paralanguage Physiology and appearance Matching and Mirroring Cross-over Matching People who are like each other, like each other.

31 Developing Rapport Nonverbal (what you see and do) Physiology Appearance Congruence Verbal (what you hear and say) Sense-based predicates Values, beliefs, and criteria Voice tone and rate of speech

32 Reading Nonverbal Messages Sensory Acuity Agree and Disagree Posture and Movement Associated or dissociated Bodily response

33 Exercises: Rapport Matching and Mirroring Observing others Practicing Calibration Like/dislike Yes/no


35 Congruence Physiology Left/right body Left/right brain Nonverbal and Verbal Messages Parts Groups

36 Strategies The Structure of Subjective Experience Four-tuples Syntax Learned Behavior TOTE (Test, Operate, Test, Exit) Habits Skills

37 Common Strategies Spelling Auditory (spell phonics phonetically) Visual Making Decisions Communicating Listening and speaking Writing

38 Decision-making Strategies Purchasing An inexpensive product Dinner in a nice restaurant An expensive product or service Relationships Career Choices

39 Communication Strategy, 1 & 2 Pace Match (nonverbally and verbally) Meet expectations Lead Set direction Maintain interest Maintain rapport

40 Communication Strategy, 3 & 4 Blend Outcomes Understand objectives and desires Create win-win solutions Motivate Clarify who does what next Future-pace possibilities Presuppose positive results

41 Exercise: Eliciting Strategies Ordering a Meal in a Restaurant Learning Something New Teaching Something for the First Time

42 Personal Profiles Achiever Communicator Specialist Perfectionist C SP A

43 Profile Characteristics Achiever Likes to set goals, challenge the environment and win. Sees life as a competition. Communicator Likes to achieve results by working with and through people. Finds more enjoyment in the process than in the results. Specialist Likes to plan work and relationships. Finds enjoyment in knowing what to expect. Perfectionist Enjoys jobs requiring attention to detail. Complies with authority and tries to provide the right answer.

44 Metaprograms ActionInitiate or Respond DirectionToward or Away From SourceInternal or External ConductRule Follower or Breaker

45 More Metaprograms ResponseMatch or Mismatch ScopeGlobal or Specific Cognitive StyleThinking or Feeling ConfirmationVAK and Times

46 Exercise: Eliciting Metaprograms Metaprograms are revealed by Nonverbal messages Language Questions What do you mean? How do you know? Whats important to you about that?

47 Changing Behavior Patterns and Pattern Interrupts Anchors and Anchoring Stimulus-response conditioning Visual, auditory, and kinesthetic anchors Advanced Language Patterns The Metamodel The Milton Model

48 Exercise: Anchoring Setting Anchors Kinesthetic Visual Auditory Stacking Anchors Collapsing Anchors Using Sliding Anchors

49 The Structure of Subjective Experience Sorting for Time Past, present, and future Timelines Sorting for Like and Dislike Creating and Changing Meaning

50 Modalities and Submodalities Visual Submodalities Location, size, distance, brightness, point of view Color or black & white, moving or still Auditory Submodalities Location, tone, rate, pitch, inflection, rhythm Language, voice (your voice, the voice of a parent) Kinesthetic Submodalities Location, strength, duration, movement Quality (warm, cold, tingly, etc.)

51 Exercise: Changing Submodalities Select something, someone, or an activity you want to like better. Elicit submodalities for Things you like. Things you dislike. Change the submodalities with which you represent the thing, person, or activity.

52 Belief Systems Cultural Parental Group Individual Global (Identity) Cause-effect If X, then Y If I study, then I will... Rules Can/cant Must/must not Should/should not

53 Values A Type of Belief Hierarchical Either Positive or Negative Something desired Something to avoid Congruent or Incongruent

54 Core Questions Remain Out of Conscious Awareness Focus Attention Influence Interpretation of Events Influence Psychological State Influence the Range of Possibilities

55 Exercise: Belief and Disbelief Elicit the submodalities of something you believe absolutely. Elicit the submodalities of something you doubt. Elicit the submodalities of something you disbelieve. Select a limiting belief and change its submodalities.

56 Frames and Reframes The Filters That Determine Meaning Influence State and Behavior Creating and Changing Frames Anchoring Reframing Context Reframing Content

57 Reframing Context Key Questions Where would the characteristic or behavior be useful? When would the characteristic or behavior be useful? What would have to be true for this to be useful? Common Context Reframes Rudolphs red nose Oil Procrastination

58 Reframing Content Key Questions What else could this mean (or be)? What am I missing here? How can he or she believe that? How could this mean the opposite of what I thought? Common Content Reframes The ugly duckling Plastic or sawdust Failure

59 The Metamodel Used to Understand Anothers Mental Maps Used to Recover Lost Information Used to Help Correct Distortions Universal Metamodel Questions What, who, or how specifically? What do you mean? How do you know? What would happen if you did (or didnt)?

60 Metamodel Violations Unspecified Nouns Abstract nouns (a student, teachers) Nominalizations (freedom, justice) Unspecified or Missing Pronouns Someone you know.... Its wrong to think that.

61 Metamodel Violations Unspecified Verbs You have to learn this. You will solve your problems. Unwarranted Generalizations You never want to do anything. Politicians are crooks.

62 Metamodel Violations Unwarranted Comparisons Brand X gives you more. Sally is the best. Unwarranted Rules You cant do that on television. Clean your plate. No pain, no gain.

63 The Milton Model Used to Change Anothers Mental Maps Used to Create New Possibilities Used to Influence

64 Milton Model Techniques Metamodel Violations Unspecified nouns, pronouns, and verbs. Generalizations Comparisons Shifts in referential index

65 More Milton Model Techniques Presuppositions Embedded Questions Embedded Commands Negative Commands Metaphors Quotes Ambiguities

66 Basic Language Skills My automobile prefers to warm up slowly. The organization is in excellent shape. For example, the record profits last year. The company has decided to purchase new furniture. While busy working at the computer all day was no doubt the cause of her eye strain and stiff neck.

67 More Basic Language Skills Not only will Alex need to justify his behavior to his boss, but also to the company president. The data is from Service Is the Key, by Eileen Johnson in the May issue of The Journal of Customer Relations.

68 Language Skills for Case 1 As an employee of Con-U-Tel, it is my responsibility to set up our companies annual convention. I am writing this letter to inquire about your hotels accommodations. How many people can your hotel accommodate at one time?

69 More Language Skills for Case 1 Does your hotel have banquet facilities? How many conference rooms does your hotel have with audio/visual equipment? I must have your answer by July 10th so that I can make a decision. Thank you in advance for sending this and other helpful information.

70 Block Format and Mixed Punctuation Date goes on left margin 5 January 2004 January 5, 2004 NOT: 1/5/2004 or Inside address includes the following: Name of the individual with courtesy title Professional title and/or office or department Organization plus mail stop information City, state, and ZIP code information

71 Block Format and Mixed PunctuationPart 2 Salutation Dear Ms. Goldman: Dear Director: Ladies and Gentlemen: The signature block includes the following: An appropriate complimentary close (Sincerely, Cordially, Best Wishes) The signature of the person who wrote the letter The typed/printed name of the writer

72 Message Structure for Case 1 Ask the most important question. What is the make-or-break question? Why are convention facilities more important than guest rooms? Why is it important to include the dates in the opening question? Explain your needs. What does she need to know to help you? What does she not need to know? What is required for transition to the list of secondary questions?

73 More Structure for Case 1 Ask your secondary questions. What is implied by the numbered list? How do you ensure that the information you receive will help you make a decision? Set and justify an end-date. Is it possible that she can help you in ways you havent asked about? Why do you need a time index to justify a specific end- date?

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