1. Employing Interdependence
Chapter Five
Employing Interdependence

2. Employing Interdependence
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3. Developing Mutually Supportive Relationships, Journal 15
Focus Question
How could you make accomplishing your success a little easier and much more fun?
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4. Kinds of People DEPENDENT people believe:
I can’t achieve my goals by myself. I need other people to do most of the work for me.
CO-DEPENDENT people believe:
I’ll pursue my goals as soon as I’ve helped others get their goals.
By working hard, I can get some of what I want all by myself. I’ll just do without the rest.
INDEPENDENT people believe:
I know I can get some of what I want by working alone, but I’ll accomplish more and have more fun if I give and receive help.
INTERDEPENDENT people believe:
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5. Understanding How People Relate
Most destructive relationships are those based on codependence.
They are motivated not by their own successes, but by someone else’s approval or dependence upon them.
They tend to abandon their own dreams and even endure abuse to keep the approval of others.
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6. The Giver – tends to be codependent The Taker – tends to be dependent
Giving and Receiving
The Giver – tends to be codependent
The Taker – tends to be dependent
The Withdrawler – tends to be independent
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7. Signs of Maturity Interdependence I Independence l Codependence
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8. Find a healthy balance of giving and receiving, and everyone benefits.
Interdependence
The Creator – know that life can be easier and more enjoyable when people cooperate.
Maximize their success in college by seeking assistance from all available resources.
Find a healthy balance of giving and receiving, and everyone benefits.
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9. Creating a Support Network, Journal 16
Focus Question
How could you create and sustain an effective support network to help you achieve your greatest dreams in college and in life?
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10. Creating a Support Network
Seek help from Instructors
Get help from College Resources
Create a Project Team
Start a Study Group
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11. Guidelines for Starting a Study Group
Choose only Creators
Guideline 2:
Choose Group Goals
Guideline 3:
Choose Group Rules
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12. Strengthening Relationships with Active Listening, Journal 17
Focus Questions
Do you know how to strengthen relationships with active listening?
What are the essential skills of being a good listener?
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13. Clear your mind and remain silent
How to Listen Actively
Step 1:
Listen to understand
Step 2:
Clear your mind and remain silent
Step 3:
Ask the person to expand or clarify
Step 4:
Reflect the other person’s thoughts and feelings
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14. Be Assertive, Journal 18 Focus Question
How can you communicate in a style that strengthens relationships, creates better results, and builds strong self–esteem?
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15. The Kinds of Communications
Placators – are Victims who are dominated by their Inner Critic. They place themselves below others, protecting themselves from the sting of criticism and rejections by saying whatever they think will gain approval.
Blamers – are Victims who are dominated by their inner Defender. They place themselves, above others, protecting themselves from disappointment and failure by making others fully responsible for their problems.
Levelers – are Creators who are dominated by their Inner Guide. They communicate purposefully, honestly and responsibly.
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16. Delivering I-Messages
Step 1:
A statement of the situation: “When you ….”
Step 2:
A statement of your reaction: “I felt/thought/decided…”
Step 3:
A request: “I’d like to ask that you…”
Step 4:
An invitation to respond: “Will you agree to that?”
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