1. Habit 4
Think Win-Win

2. Win-Lose: The Totem Pole
Win-Lose is an attitude toward life that says the pie of success is only so big and if you get a big piece there is less for me
Win-Lose is competitive known as the totem pole syndrome
“I don’t care how good I am as long as I’m a notch higher than you on the totem pole

3. Win-Lose: The Totem Pole
Win-Lose is full of pride
“Pride gets no pleasure out of having something, only out of having more of it than the next man…” C.S. Lewis
We have all been raised to be competitive from an early age
Most of us start playing t-ball or soccer at the age of 4!!

4. Win-Lose: The Totem Pole
A Win-Lose attitude wears many faces:
Using other people for your own purposes
Trying to get ahead at the expense of another
Spreading rumors about someone else (putting people down to make yourself feel better)
Always getting your way without thinking about others
Becoming jealous when someone close to you does something good or has something good happen to them

5. Win-Lose: The Totem Pole
In the end Win-Lose will usually backfire, you may end up at the top of the totem pole, but you will be there alone without any friends
Your winning has been at the expense of others
“The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you’re still a rat.” -Lily Tomlin

6. Lose-Win: The Doormat Lose-Win is the doormat syndrome
You always want to be the nice guy
You want everyone to be happy
You want to be the peacemaker, it doesn’t matter what happens to you as long as everyone else is happy

7. Lose-Win: The Doormat
With a Lose-Win attitude you’ll find yourself setting low expectations and compromising your standards
Giving in to peer-pressure is lose-win, the group wants to ditch school, but you don’t. So you give in. What happens? You lose and they win

8. Lose-Win: The Doormat
If you adopt lose-win as your attitude in life, then people will wipe their dirty feet on you
It’s okay to let people win sometimes, but you want to make sure to choose your battles wisely
Make sure that you take a stand on the important things

9. Lose-Lose: The Downward Spiral
Lose-Lose says, “If I’m going down, then your going down with me.”
Misery loves company
War is a good example of Lose-Lose, both sides lose regardless of who “wins”
Revenge is lose-lose, you think that you are winning, but you are really only hurting yourself

10. Lose-Lose: The Downward Spiral
Lose-Lose can occur when someone becomes obsessed with someone else in a negative way
You don’t care what happens to you, you just want the other person to be miserable as well
Boyfriend/Girlfriend: People become too dependant on the other person and eventually this brings out the worst in both of them

11. Win-Win: The All-You-Can-Eat Buffet
Win-Win is a belief that everyone can win
It’s nice and tough at the same time: I won’t step on you, but at the same time, I won’t be your doormat.
You want others to succeed, but you realize that you need to succeed as well
Win-Win is the belief that there’s plenty of success to go around

12. Win-Win: The All-You-Can-Eat Buffet
It’s not either you or me, it’s both of us
There is enough food to go around, it’s an all-you-can-eat buffet
Win-Win always creates more:
You recently got a promotion at your job, you make sure to give recognition to those that helped you get there

13. Win-Win: The All-You-Can-Eat Buffet
You are elected to an important office at school, instead of getting a big-head, you treat everyone the same
Your best friend just got accepted at the college that you wanted to go to, although you are upset that you didn’t get in, you are happy for your friend
You want to go out to eat, your friend wants to watch a movie, you compromise and rent a movie and pick up something to eat

14. How do you think Win-Win?
Win the Private Victory first
You have to work within yourself to gain self-confidence
Personal security is the foundation for thinking Win-Win

15. Avoid the Tumor Twins
There are two habits that, like tumors, can slowly eat you away from the inside
They are twins are their names are competing and comparing

16. The Tumor Twins Competing- competition can be extremely helpful
It drives us to improve, to reach and stretch
Without it, we would never know how far we could push ourselves
Competition is healthy when you compete against yourself, it is not when you are using it to try to be better than someone else

17. The Tumor Twins Comparing- comparing yourself to others is bad news
Everyone develops and succeeds at different times- socially, mentally, and physically
Everyone is different, so why should you expect yourself to match up to everyone else?

18. The Tumor Twins
Building your life based on how you stack up compared to others is never good
Most of the time in life, you can always find someone in life who is better at something than you are
You don’t have to look, act, dress, or even be like anyone else
You are your own individual and that is they way you should act

19. Think Win-Win Try to spend most of your time thinking Win-Win
Start small and make an honest effort to try to change the way that you think
It won’t happen over night, but if you try, eventually you will succeed